Six words
by Urban Rose
Summary: a home for all of my one shots, flash fics and drabbles... mainly Jacob and Bella.
1. Her

**Her**

I remember the day I first saw _her_.

Large, innocent, doe eyes, the perfect shade of chocolate brown.

Long, black lashes that fluttered like a butterfly every time she blinked.

Straight, mahogany hair that reached the small of her back, except when whenever it was wet then it would become wavy and unruly almost wild and untamed, with red or dark brown streaks depending on the weather.

Pale skin that had never been adorned with any trace of makeup; allowing her natural rosy tint to colour her cheeks when she blushed; which was often.

She smelt of the strawberry shampoo she favoured and a sweet undertone that was her natural scent.

Her smile which reached her eyes, making them shine like they had stars twinkling in them, making her whole face light up and which pulled her dusky pink lips across her white teeth into a bow shape and showed a little of her top gum.

Her tiny hands delicately tucked a loose braid of hair behind her ear, and her fingers ghosted along her jawline and curled into themselves and rested under her chin. _How I wished to be her fingers to feel how soft her skin was._

Her voice was like heaven to my ears when she finally spoke, looking up at the waitress from under her lashes, and shaking her head as a 'no thank you' slipped from her pillowy lips, as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth shyly, and her hair fell back over her face creating a curtain.

But it was her giggle that made me come undone, and fall head over heels in love with her even before I even saw her face properly.

She was curled up in one of the old comfy chairs in the book café, reading a book, intermittently chewing on her lip, giggling out loud and sipping on her hot chocolate. Coffee was too bitter and tea too watery. She had a sweet tooth that only hot chocolate and a dusting of sprinkled chocolate could satisfy.

That was the day my life changed.

The day I found my true purpose; my true love. The woman I would marry or die trying.

I remember that day like it was… today. I saw her and I knew I had to have her. Make her mine.

She was smiling, her real smile, that was _my_ smile. I knew one day she would smile like that at me, because of me, and then that smile of hers, would be mine.


	2. Untitled story

**_Triggers: domestic abuse_**

_UNTITLED _

"Well you have no idea how relieved we are to see you're awake Love. Now how are you feeling?"

Bella tried to turn her head to answer but as she attempted to nod and speak, she yelped as agonising pain shot through her neck, head, and her jaw.

"Oh Honey, don't try to talk or move okay? You suffered a lot of nasty injuries you just need to rest okay?" Bella looked up at the girl speaking to her. She looked about Bella's age, maybe a year or two younger. She was extremely beautiful with dark brown eyes, framed with long ebony lashes, her skin was a gorgeous deep tan, and she had long, glossy raven black hair, which was plaited into a French braid. She smiled at Bella kindly, which even reached her eyes, but she also saw pity. It was a look Bella was used to seeing and she allowed her one good eye to close, to block out the sympathetic looks she knew all the nurses and doctors would give her, not just this one.

The nurse leant over Bella and held the cup of water with a straw up to her lips, as she spoke softly to Bella. "Try and take a few sips, I know it may hurt, but it will help. You have an IV drip set up as well." Bella couldn't respond, even though she very much wanted too. She wanted to try explain how she got here, to try and what she thought to herself? Lie again? Make more excuses rather than face people's pity if they knew the truth.

"I'm Lori, I'll be your nurse, for the day." Bella couldn't remember what surname she had given. Normally she would use her maiden name, never ever her married name. However since she was in Forks, and she didn't want anyone to realise who she was, she knew she wouldn't have used either her married or maiden name but since she couldn't remember coming in, she prayed they nhadn't found her driving incense or ID.

"I was here last night when you were brought in. Would you like me – before I finish- can you lift a finger or a thumb at all? Just one?" Bella managed to raise her right thumb, slightly. The nurse seemed pleased.

"Good, okay I will ask you some questions and you respond with a thumb movement for a yes, okay?" Bella raised her thumb slightly, making the woman smile at her enthusiastically.

"Would you like me to plump your pillows, or see if we can raise you a little so you're not lying flat?" Bella raised her thumb.

"Sit up?" Bella raised her thumb again.

"Okay, how about some television?" Bella remained still, "Okay how about the radio?" Again Bella remained still.

"How about I open the blinds so you can see out to the forest?" Bella lifted her thumb as high as she could manage making the nurse laugh.

"Okay you got it sweetheart." As she moved around Bella assisting her to sit with the remote and plumping her pillows and angling the bed a little so Bella could see the pretty view out of her hospital room, Lori chatted about nothing in particular, but the constant chatter was actually nice to hear, it had been a long time since Bella had spoken or had a normal conversation with anyone, bar the cashiers at the shops.

"I have to go do my rounds but I will pop in as often as I can. If you need me press this button okay?" she placed a remote under Bella's hand, her thumb resting over the button to call for assistance.

Left to her thoughts Bella's mind replayed how she had ended up here, and all the things that had happened in the last four years. She had no idea how long had past when the nurse, Lori came back in, "How you doing sweetie?" Bella gave her a twitch of her thumb.

"Good, Good, well I have a surprise for you. You have a visitor."

Bella's heart, which was still, be being monitored from the night before shot up making the machine bleep loudly with surprise. Bella's face must have shown pure panic and fear, as Lori ran to turn the machine off. No one knew Bella was here, well only one person, and she definitely didn't want to see him again, after last night.

"Sweetie, calm down, it's okay. You're safe here I promise."

Bella tried to talk, despite the agonising pain, but could only manage to whisper. Lori leant forward seeing how determined Bella was to tell her something.

"No. One. Knows. I. Forks. Only-"

"Bella, may I call you Bella? I was told you didn't like Isabella, and you didn't want your father in law knowing you were here, am I right?" Extremely puzzled Bella raised her thumb.

"Okay Bella, I'm going to be straight with you with what I can and then I will let your visitors explain the rest, okay?" Bella winced at the word visitors becoming agitated again Lori had to switch the machine off once again.

"I registered you last night, but given the little I know about the circumstances evolving around your admission I took the liberty to check your notes before I put your details into the system. Look it doesn't take a genius to work it out, and I have met ladies who are in similar situations to yourself", Bella was visibly speechless at this young girl's audacity. But she couldn't speak properly to say anything and she'd need the girl to come oset to just hear her anyway, Bella didn't respond.

"I'm not explaining this very well am i? Look I checked the system I I know you always register these type of visits under your maiden name, which I'm guessing is so they won't be flagged up to your infamous father-in-law, but I also was informed you wouldn't want anyone knowing that the late Chief's- I'm sorry for your loss by the way- was in hospital especially given the circumstances. So I took the liberty to rename you 'Bella Black' just so you can stay under the radar as such okay?

"As for your husband, Mr. Cullen", Bella visibly flinched and, trembled at his name, as Lori pulled a chair up to the bed and sat next to her, and took her hand, "was arrested not long after you were rushed in here. Turns out a neighbour, called in a disturbance at your father's house, where you were found unconscious and badly beaten, by the officers on call. Mr Cullen, was found not far from your father's house trying to burn clothes with blood on. So he is being held in custody for the time being, however if and when he is released he is not allowed within fifty feet of you or anywhere near this hospital wing, okay? So you're safe I promise. I can assure you are well protected. Better?" Bella moved her thumb, trying to pump the nurse's hand but was unsuccessful.

"Now I have a young man outside who is extremely keen to see you, and I'm not taking a no on this one" Lori smiled at her, as she stood and left the room. Bella had no idea who it could be, but she didn't have to wait long, before an extremely tall young man, dressed in full Police Officer's uniform, tapped on her door frame. Bella peeked up at him from her under good eye's lashes, he looked familiar but she couldn't place him. But she seeing his uniform she realised she must have been mistaken because he was obviously here on duty, to get her statement, something Bella was well used to by now.

"Bells, I'm so relieved to see you! I've never been so worried in my life to get a call like that before".

Bella baulked at the use of her nickname, only two people had ever called her that. Charlie had recently died, and who, was the reason she had finally snapped and had the courage to leave Edward. The other person had been Jacob Black, her childhood best friend, whom she hadn't seen since she was seventeen, and had just started dating Edward.

She was still looking at him, from under her eyelashes, all too aware the mess she currently was.

"Lori said I wasn't allowed to make you talk, or stress you out but you can give me a thumbs up for yes. Is that right?"

Bella gave a thumbs up and was amazed at the blinding smile she received back. "Great, great!"

"Jake?" She whispered, unsure if this giant beautiful man was indeed her childhood friend. He didn't lean in like Lori had so her voice must be getting stronger, even though it sounded just as weak as before to her.

"Hey Bells, you're not meant to talk remember. But glad to see you remember me," he smiled at her, making his deep brown eyes sparkle.

"How could I forget you, you ate mud for me" she croaked.

She couldn't believe this was little Jacob Black, the same little boy who used to follow her and his twin sisters around, the same one she had once made eat a mud pie, and even tried to make eat an earth worm, just to see if he would. Bella was speechless as she took him all in. He had grown into a beautiful young man. He ducked his tall frame to walk into her room and sat beside her, placing his a bunch of wildflowers on her bed, beside her hand. His skin was more bronzed than she remembered, and his long hair, was now short and spikey, and his uniformed seemed to be stretched to full capacity by his muscled frame. But it was his crooked wide toothed smile that made Bella catch her breath as he waited for her to finish appraising him, and chuckled as she blushed realising he knew what she had been doing. Clearly someone this good looking wasn't single plus he had called her nurse by her name, so they clearly knew each other very well, especially since she had been the one to allow Jacob into her room. Part of Bella kicked herself, because she knew Jacob had always liked her, even that time on the beach not long after she had moved here, he had clumsily asked her to hang out with him, but Edward had laughed loudly at him, telling him to grow some muscles before he tried to get a girl, before Edward had smashed his lips on Bella's right in front of Jake's face, and even though she had tried to push him off, Edward hadn't stopped, and Jake had walked away before Bella had realised what was going on and tried to get Edward of her. In the end it had been Emmett, his twin brother that had pushed him off, and slapped him around the back of the head. Internally Bella shook her head, at the whole scenario. She should have realised then what an ass Edward was, but she hadn't. She always let him talk his way out of everything with her, when he cheated the first time, to the first slap, then she looked at Jake, he really had grown some muscles now. Bet Edward wouldn't want to piss him off now.

He gave a deep hearty laugh, which warmed Bella, and she even managed the smallest of smiles, for him, which made him look sad and the same look of pity filled his eyes, the same look she always received but from him it was more than she could take. Bella's eyes begin to well up, she didn't want this beautiful man to pity her, for all the foolish things she had done. She dipped her head away from him, as the tears began to slowly trickle down her face.

"Hey Bells, don't turn away from me, please. Don't cry, honey. This isn't your fault, please look at me", he went to touch her face, but his hand froze inches from her chin, which only made her cry more.

"Bells, please look at me."

"I-don't-want-your-pity-Jake." She managed to get out.

"Bella, I don't pity you! I want to pick you up and make it all better, like when we were kids, but I can't ran and get my dad or a plaster and make it all okay?"

"Saw-your-eyes"

"That wasn't pity Bella, that's because I can't stand to see you in so much pain. I want to see you smiling and laughing, not like this. This kills me seeing you like this, when Paul rang me and told me his call out was at your old house, I literally flew there like a bat out of Hell. But I was too late. We all were. The ride here in the ambulance has never taken so long. I nearly took the driver out because he wasn't going fast enough, even though he was. Bells I've never been more scared, you're like family to me, and seeing you like that on the floor, I'm never letting you go back there again, Bells. Ever." Bella was speechless. She had no idea it was Jake who had found her, or who brought her in, but it explained why the mystery of her name. Jake must have given her information to the doctor, although she was puzzled why he hadn't given Cullen or Swan, it wasn't like he would know not to raise the alarm. Bella still had no recollection of the night before; in fact she had no memories after Edward had grabbed her by her hair and smashed her head into the mirror by the front door.

"I swear to God, Bella had I not taken an oath to protect and serve, and because I know if I got anywhere near him, I would actually kill him for what he has done to you, he would already be dead. It was only because coming here with you, and making sure you were alright, was more important that I even allowed someone else to hunt him down. He is lucky Paul was with Mark, when they found him. If we had our way…."

"NO!"

"Bells you can't still be defending him surely? Do you realise he almost killed you last night?"

"No-Jake. You. He – dan-ger-ous", talking was becoming even more painful, and I could see the machine flashing red from my alarm at Jake admitting his desire to hunt Edward down, but he had no how dangerous Edward was. I couldn't stand the idea of kind hearted Jake getting hunt over me.

Lori came rushing in, "Jake I told you not to stress her out!" she chided him. Jake ignored her as she fiddled with the machine. "Bella I need to give you some more morphine."

"Not yet." Bella whispered, knowing it would make her drowsy.

"Soon okay?"

"Bella please tell me you won't go back to him?"

Lori looked alarmed at Jake's statement, as she raised the cup and straw again for Bella , as she took a sip.

"Oh God, Bella I should have thought to offer you a drink! Sorry!"

"This one is useless, I tell you Bella! How he and Billy manage to survive is beyond me!" She looked at Jake fondly, Bella's heart dropped as she realised she knew Billy as well. Although Bella knew she was in no state to be worrying about Jake's relationship with this beautiful nurse, it did make her wish she had made different choices in my own life, even if it took her own father's death to realise life was too short to be putting up with the constant beatings, and derogatory remarks, or even the cheating.

No it had been the phone call from Billy, telling her that Charlie had been shot while on duty, and he hadn't made it. Bella's world had fallen apart in that moment, as she cried heartbrokenly down the phone to her father's best friend, as Edward had come home, and having heard it was a man voice's demanded to know who it was, and began accusing Bella of cheating. Bella had quickly hung up the call and tried to explain to Edward but instead he had begun punching her in her stomach, over and over again, until eventually she had blacked out and came too, hours later in a puddle of blood and vomit. Never did Edward hit Bella's face, only when he was really angry, and then it always make to too many people ask questions, because she could never cover the tell-tale bruises well enough, so when he did that Bella would be locked in the house until the bruises had faded enough to be covered up. However that still wasn't the enough for Bella to leave him; no that came when he refused Bella to come back to Forks for Charlie's funeral, instead he took to locking her inside the house every day for over a fortnight, so Bella had missed her own father's funeral. That had been the turning point, so while he was at work each day, she planned her escape and waited till he relaxed enough, to stop locking the each and every window. The moment Bella found one unlocked, she grabbed the one and only small holdall, and ran. She couldn't fly because he had her passport and she knew he had a tracking device on her car, so instead Bella took the only way she knew how, and caught the first bus out of town, eventually making it to a big bus depot and managed to get a connection to Seattle and from there another to Forks. But she had made the fatal error of going to the only place she could. She had no one to turn to and nowhere but Charlie's house to run too. So after the long journey, when she final reached the only place she had truly called home, using the key under the mat, where Charlie had always left it, Bella had thought she was finally free.

And that is when he had grabbed her by the hair and smashed her into the mirror, even before she had even managed to put her bag down.

Jake had been watching me carefully, Lori was hovering behind him, putting the flowers he had brought me into a vase.

"Bells, what are you thinking? Please tell me you won't go back to him, he doesn't deserve you." His voice sounded pained, Lori placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder as he reached out and gripped my hand making me yelp in pain.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry Bells, I'm sorry. I'm no good at this. I can't. I'm sorry", He got up and left and Bella felt like her heart had gone with him, again the plastered machine went mad, and Lori run to quiet it.

"I think we can unattached this for now, don't you honey? It's okay he'll be back Bella. He just needs a minute. It affected him a lot last night, seeing you like that. I've never seen him like that, it was like he- it affected them all pretty badly. But Jake handle it the worst, he didn't leave your side at all last night sweetie. He only left this morning to go and get changed into a clean uniform for his shift later. Will you be okay honey if I go check on him?"

Bella didn't reply, instead she just allowed her head to roll to the other side, as more tears slid down her cheek.

A light tap on the door surprised me and Bella turned her head too fast, in the hope it was Jake, only to cry out in pain.

"Bella, sweetheart, it's me Billy. You okay honey? Shall I get Lori? She's just sat with Embry and Jake."

"Billy" Bella whispered, she was at a loss for words, and so relieved to see him. He was the last link to Charlie, Bella felt she had left. He rolled over and came and rested his hand on hers, patting it gently.

"Oh Bella, why didn't you come to our house? Why did you go home?"


	3. a twist of fate

**Disclaimer:** _All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

_**I have taken some liberties with the storyline and changed some of the events as you will see- hopefully it will all become clear BUT any questions or queries please leave me a comment below or inbox me!***  
_

_Thank you so much for reading. _

**Twist of Fate**

The party was in full swing, the thumping bass of the music resonated off every surface, and the noise of easy chatter and laughter filled the air as I made my way through the crowd to the dark empty corner on the furthest side of the small wooden cabin. I knew from there I would be able to see both exits, and the stairs as well as outside; where the party had spilled out to and people were now converging around the makeshift bonfire some of the pack had constructed. I know each of the wolves are monitoring my every move, I can feel their penetrating stares burning into my back as I grab three bottles of beer from the ice bucket. Turning around, a mass of shaggy black hair, falls into my eyes, but instead of shoving it aside like my hand instinctively goes to, I use it as a shield and look out from under my thick lashes, while it would appear to an outsider I'm studying the drink's label in my hand, those in on the secret know I'm taking in my surroundings. However it was the imprints' and the other humans' fugitive glances that make a feral rumble begin to build in my chest, I push it down, as quickly as it started, and roughly push my hand through my hair, effectively removing it from my eyes. The few humans who aren't in the know all hurry out of the glare of my menacing scowl which makes them quiver in fear, as I continue in my path to my chosen advantage point in the corner. I popped the lid off a bottle with my thumb and take a large refreshing gulp, as I surveyed the sea of faces; I see each of the wolves', my estranged pack, give me the smallest of nods in acknowledgement, whilst the imprints and elders smile warily at me. Only Charlie and Leah continue to stare at me stonily. Once upon a time I would have cared I would have wondered what I did to upset them, or at least Charlie. Leah always looked like she did now, like the world owed her, and she continued to make everyone's life a misery until Fate paid her, the dues she felt she deserved. But that was then, back when I cared; back when I had something to live for, to care about. Tonight I didn't care; I wasn't here to be social I was here to make an appearance under duress from my father. I finished the bottle in only two slugs, and flicked the next lid off, like I was flipping a coin.

This was the first time I had been amongst the whole pack, let alone the rest of them, all at once, since my return nearly three weeks ago. I'd avoided everyone and every single event and get together since I'd been ordered home. The only time I had seen any of the pack was when I had to patrol with some of them; which due to recent events had been greatly reduced to only Jared and Quil; I had never expected any kind of fanfare or homecoming when I returned the first time and I especially didn't this time around but neither had quite been what I'd expected. I tried to blank my line of thought as I tilted my head backwards and poured another beer down my throat in one go, but it didn't stop the thoughts from evading my mind's eye.

I was back in the woods, I could see the scenery blurring past me as I soared through the trees, feel my paws digging into the soil, I could smell and hear the wilderness around me, and I felt my wolf, itching to get out and run again. I had begun making my way back home a few days before; I wanted to get back before the _wed_\- that day. I'd planned to give her one last gift, before saying my final goodbye; be her best man, her best friend one last time and at the same time take one last good look at her breathing and glowing with happiness, one last look that would see me through the darkest of days that would follow. Yet when I arrived at their mansion, it was deserted, their scents' long gone. I'd ran like a crazed feral dog to Bella's, hoping and praying she was still there, still human but her scent there was old as well. I had to stifle my agonising howl when I realised I was too late, not wanting to alert the pack to my presence instead I did the only thing I could I ran again as my heart broke all over again. I'd managed to get out of the state long before anyone had phased in, and as howl ripped through Embry's jaw to alert the others, not waiting to listen to Em's thoughts or deal with any of the others I phased back to human and ran through the woods naked, until I knew I was too far for them to risk following. Stealing clothes from a yard, knowing I no longer had the freedom of being a wolf for any real length of time, meant I had to re-adjust to being human again, which also meant I had deal with everything that came with being a human and not the wild wolf I had become accustomed too, like the overwhelming pain that was currently crushing me from finally losing Bel-, her. Something I had been able to avoid on some levels, while a wolf.

This time I struggled. Not only did I have to re-adjust to being human, which was much harder than I imagined it would be and I missed the easy life going wolf the first time had given me. It had conveniently and effectively allowed me to disappear into the wilderness. Now without that freedom it was considerably harder being away from home and all the comforts that went with being human- like warm meals, blankets and a shower. I managed to avoid the majority of the pack, phasing out when they phased in, and lived rough in the woods. Eventually though I couldn't handle the constant hunger of trying to sustain a wolf's appetite on a homeless man's diet, and was forced to find work in a small mountain range, in Canada which provided accommodation and food. It consisted of a lot of heavy manual labour which helped keep my mind and hands busy. I took as many shifts as I could and when I couldn't work, I discovered oblivion could be found at the bottom of a substantially vast amount of alcohol, if drank fast enough. Even if oblivion only lasted long enough that I passed out, and with no bills, rent or food to pay for the wages I got was spent ensuring oblivion was always within my reach.

It was a further three months before I finally felt any sort of pull from my wolf to return home, however when I did, it hit me like a freight train and spread rapidly like wild fire through me, becoming stronger and more potent, until it consumed me completely. It was late November and the snow had settled, covering the mountains with a thick blanket of white, when I finally decided to return home. I'd been travelling for several hours when I felt someone phase in, and even though they vanished again just as quickly, I caught the happy-go-lucky thoughts of Seth. I knew his disappearance was normally a warning that Sam would appear and instead of phasing out like I had every other time, I carried on regardless, never expecting Sam would order me home, especially when he could see I was coming home. Yet he did exactly that, much to my astonishment and not only had Sam ordered me home but he had bound me to La Push- Something I still believed was more to do with the imprint of Rachel to the pack's most volatile member and the Rez's infamous womanizer than him believing I would be a flight risk...

To say I had been beyond angry at the order was an understatement, then to find out due to the curse of imprinting that my sister was now lumbered with Paul Lahote but so was my father and I, only added to the growing sense of enraged fury that no one had told me that Bella had left with the Cullens, and I wasn't shy in letting anyone who patrolled with me know it. However it had been Embry who had foolishly tried to make me see what I already knew- deep within my soul, it was etched across my heart and engraved inside my bones just like her name.

I knew it was my fault, that I had ran when she told me yet again, even after everything that she chose him, that even then I shouldn't have ran so far, shouldn't have blocked them out, or ordered them not to think of her, let alone say her name. In a blind fury I had attacked one my oldest best friends, who I thought of, as my brother and not just by the pack, and had Seth not intervened, I daren't even think of what could have happened to either of them, as it happened Em had ended up seriously injured, and Seth was more shook up, but it could have ended up much worse had Leah not phased in and caught the end of my fight with Embry and saw Seth trying to help, only for me to pin him to the ground. Leah had bombarded me with images of Bel- of her, of snippets of conversations she had overheard from her mom and Charlie, of things I'd missed but mainly of me and her, my only weakness. She had flown at me knocking me off Seth, as she stood over his whimpering form, she continued assaulting me with images until I finally buckled in agony, only then had she stopped, and then let loose a tirade of home truths; like how I had lost her, by being too stubborn, for refusing to listen to any of them. Otherwise I would have known months ago instead of finding out how I did. Now I had no idea where she was or even what she was. I had tried to find out from Billy, but he had no idea, Charlie had never shared with him what had happened the day that the Cullens left. Billy had tried many times but always got the same reply or his questions were deflected. Only once Leah was satisfied I knew every thought and feeling, every single I had missed about her, about the pack, about my father, about Charlie and about Rachel coming home to look after our ill father because no one could get hold of me, only to be imprinted on by Lahote, on how things had truly been while I was away, only then did she growl above me and huff a muzzle full of angry air at me, before she turned and nuzzled Seth back on to his feet. Leah howled a warning before they both phased back and picked up an unconscious Embry still in wolf form, and began running back towards their house, as the others phased in, I showed them a blast of Leah and Seth running with Embry and used what little I had left to phase back to human, as their worries and concerned made me feel sick with guilt. I accepted the beating from Sam gladly when he found me, still in the same place, when Embry had regained consciousness, it wasn't like I didn't deserve it, and it wasn't like I had anywhere to run too, even if I had the energy to get up, but I didn't. Instead I accepted every blow and begged him to end my misery instead.

Quil sauntered over to me, breaking through into my thoughts, a smile plastered across his face, as he handed me two more bottles, "Good to see ya man!" I nodded but didn't speak, too busy observing the party. I was lucky Quil had forgiven me, he and Jared both had tried to reassure me Embry understood and he would forgive me but I wasn't so sure because I knew I didn't deserve it. I had been an awful son, brother, by pack and blood, and friend. Then to top it all off, I had nearly killed one of the few people who had always been there through everything and stood by me regardless. I really was a shitty human being.

My eyes fell over the threesome huddled in the corner, whispering. I still needed to apologise to Embry, Seth and Leah, I had never got the chance after… afterwards and since I hadn't left my room unless I had to patrol I hadn't seen anyone but Billy, Quil and Jared, and occasionally Rachel. Even Paul had given our house a wide berth. I hadn't even been out into the garage; it held too many memories.

I was discreetly watching them; I couldn't make out what they were saying over the commotion of the party yet I didn't miss the hasty look Seth gave me before nodding at Leah, while Embry squeezed his shoulder. The familiar surge of anger burned up my spine, I knew something was amiss, I didn't know what or even how I knew but I knew they were keeping something from me, and I was damned if I wasn't going to find out and soon.

"Jake, you're growling man!" Quil uttered as he slapped me hard across the back, making my head snap back with the force. I turned glaring at him, a feral rumble erupting from my chest, making Quil whimper and dip his head to the side, I arched my eyebrow surprised and taken aback at his sudden show of submission, something he had never done that before; ever. Appeased I nodded. Two females shimmied towards us, blocking my view of the trio conspiring in the corner, when I managed to get a glimpse of them, Charlie and Sue had joined them.  
I had been surprised to find out Harry's widow and Bella's dad had begun dating after _she_ had left with _them_, however they seemed happy from the little I had overheard from when they visited Billy or things I had picked up from Billy when he went fishing with Charlie. Being a good 6'7" meant I could normally look over people's heads, but the girls in front of me, were both around 5'10" and as my eyes briefly flicked down the one trying to thrust her chest in my face, to see she was wearing heels, which explained why her annoying head was currently bobbing in front of my eyes like a sea buoy. Quil was talking animatedly to her friend beside me, flirting politely; the way all the taken wolves' would have, to help the single un-imprinted wolves out. It was a ploy Lahote had initiated once both Jared and Sam were both imprinted; keep the friend busy so he could chat up his target. I had seen it many times in the Pack mind. I knew Quil wasn't interested, and thought he was helping me out, after all he had tried to persuade me a few times to move on from _her_, but I couldn't. Turning to Quil, to tell him to get rid, I saw my father push himself towards the group. I saw him speak to the group he shook hands with Embry and Seth, and Leah and Sue both pecked him the cheek. Billy looked up at Charlie with surprise, as my eyes combed over the back of my dad's oldest living friend, before Billy looked over at me shaking his head. Charlie turned his face to look at Sue as she spoke, and I saw his face was crimson red, and whatever he said made Sue pull a grim shrug and rub his arm, reassuringly. I had no idea what had got him so angry and I was about to go over and see if everything was okay, as when my heart went cold, replacing the burn of anger up my spine; what if… as images of her flooded my brain dead or worse when Charlie turned and shot a menacing glare in my direction. My fear and worry was replaced with absolute fury as I realised what had made him so incensed. He had got to be freaking kidding me, right? He was pissed because a busty bimbo was trying to talk to me! I was fucking single and I had never dated his daughter! Ever! She had refused me at every opportunity, and yet she was still managing to rip my heart out, shred it to pieces and then just for good measure fuck up my life at the same time, and just to really turn the blade in my chest, she fled with them and from what I had gathered hadn't had any contact with Charlie, yet he was acting like it was me who had done all of that to her! Instead of how it really was, and now he had the nerve to be majorly aggravated that some  
girl was talking to me. I was beyond irate at this point, feeling his eyes on me, I allowed my eyes to roam over the girl again, wouldn't hurt to piss the old man off a little more. I noted she seemed pretty enough; her long black hair was glossy and straight, and fell to her waist. She had just enough make up on to accentuate her features but not enough to make her look overly made up. Her eyes were a dark brown, almost black, she slowly closed and opened them, making her lashes flutter momentarily as she puckered her glossed lips into a perfect pout as she waited for me to reply to something she had said, her fingers played with a lock of hair before her fingertips ghosted across her chest and down to her waist before she planted her hand on her hip, a move I had seen many a time while I was away, aimed to highlight her ample chest and small waist. She may look like a natural beauty but her mannerisms showed me all I needed to know. I hadn't been interested before I looked at her and I wasn't interested now, I only ever saw one girl, and this girl wasn't her. As tempted as I was to see what Old man Swan would do if I was grab this girl and shove my tongue down her throat like she wanted, I had no desire to have her sickly scent any closer to me than it already was let alone taste whatever flavour that gloop plastered on her lips was. I tilted my head towards Quil, not breaking eye contact with Charlie. Quil grabbed both girls, and made to manoeuvre them away from me, as the girl protested and tried to run her hand down my bicep. I grabbed her hand slightly, leaned in and seductively whispering in a deep husky voice, into her ear, which made her quiver, "Honey", she nodded her eyes wide, her lips curling into a smile, as she pushed Quil's hand away with distaste, "take your skanky ass away from me right this second", she gasped audibly but before she could raise her hand to slap me or reply, I let my wolf come to the surface just enough that she stepped back, "or I'll tell everyone here what kind of hoe you are. Oh and don't bother any of my boys either. Got it sweetheart?" I loaded the last word with as much venom as I could master, it wasn't aimed at just her but at all the girls I had met who were just like her. She nodded stunned before she grabbed her friend's hand and briskly walked out the door. Quil looked at me with disbelief and surprise.

"Two other men, have already done _that_ recently, and I mean recent, recent", I raised an eyebrow in a knowing way as I answered his unspoken question and finished off my third beer wishing it would make me feel something, anything other than this constant feeling of heartbreak, emptiness and loss. My wolf was going berserk to get out and run, it had been since I had been home, all I could think of was that the order was making it restless, not being able to run free, like it had for all those months.

I detected a flurry of activity over in the corner, and looked up to see Charlie and Sue were saying their goodbyes, Charlie looked slightly more composed as Sue said something to him and he nodded as he bent down to speak to Billy who laughed as they shook hands, Sue bent as Charlie stood and embraced my dad, she then stood and kissed Seth and Leah, before surprisingly also kissing Embry.

I looked at Quil but he was too busy throwing food down his gullet, Sam approached us, offering me his hand and a glass of Old Quil's Moonshine, "Peace offering Jake- look I know we need to clear the air and this isn't the time or place but it means a lot you're here," he looked over his shoulder to Billy, before adding "even if it is just to please Billy. I hate all this…" he struggled to find the words I could feel he was looking for, and as much as I enjoyed watching him flounder, I knew he was right. My wolf may have loved the freedom but he had hated the time as a lone wolf. Coming home and being amongst the pack yet still isolated, had been a true struggle. Hoping to find a resolve with all those I was at war with, within the pack may actually help both my wolf and I calm down and feel less agitated, I thought to myself, before I raised my own hand to meet his outstretched one, Sam's face broke into a wide grin as I gave a firm pump to his hand. "Yeah, we can have a pack meeting after Christmas, there's a few I need to make amends with", Sam followed my gaze to Leah's small gathering and nodded. "Happy Christmas Bro, I'm glad you're here, take this", he passed the glass of the dark liquid to me, and I drowned it in one, coughing as it burned my throat making him and Quil laugh, "Another?" Quil asked as I nodded, and he weaved through the crowd to where the secret stash of Moonshine was hidden for the pack. Sam watched him go, before he followed Quil, he leaned over and lower than even a whisper spoke under his breath "the order is lifted Jake, but don't go so far next time if there is one. We all missed you and it isn't the same without you-", his voice broke almost as if he was mentally stopping himself from adding the silent both, that hung in the air, I nodded mutely. Charlie nodded a hello and smiled at me, for the first time since I had arrived home and half raised his hand in a wave, as he and Sue went to leave however Sue pulled him towards me.

"Jacob! It's lovely to see you sweetheart. I'm so glad you made it, and I know I said it before but we are all glad you're home, where you should be", she pulled me into her, and gave me a firm squeeze, I was about to thank her when I caught the slightest hint of _Her scent, _from Sue.

Sue gave me a peck on the cheek as she released me and nudged Charlie who shook my hand, and then swung an arm around me and gave me a strong manly hug. "Yeah, we're all glad you're home Jake especially ya old man, he missed you while you were gone. We all did", he stuttered slightly, which pulled me from my stunned silence.

I snorted a laugh, which made both of them look at each other in surprise and then at me, I swallowed my fifth beer, in one go. I looked Charlie straight in the eye, studying him I tried to take a clandestine sniff of the air to see if I had imagined her scent, as weak as it was, plus it was mixed with something else, and combined with Sue's. My senses were exceptionally acute more so than anyone else's, even Sam's. My time living as a wolf had sharpened them but I could feel them becoming more powerful just like the overwhelming restlessness of my wolf, and the unknown pull I could feel but couldn't understand. None of it made any sense since I was now home, yet they were all still growing, and then to top it off, there was the strange submission of Paul the other day, then Quil tonight.

I cleared my throat and took a large sniff, covering it with a cough, and there it was again, I was positive I could smell her, but maybe I was imagining it or maybe Charlie and Sue had merely been going through some of her things, after all he and Sue were meant to be moving in together when they could decide where to live, if Billy's gossiping was correct.

"Maybe not all of us, hey Charlie", I spoke, my voice had also changed in the last few weeks, growing deeper, huskier, but everyone put it down to being away for so long, and through the lack of speaking. I saw Charlie flinch at my tone, and Sue gave an almost inaudible gasp. Charlie's face was starting to glow red again and I saw Sue take his hand and squeeze it, before she gave me a wide smile, "We're off to visit some relatives- of mine, so we need to go or we'll never get to the Makah Reservation in time, it was lovely to see you Jacob. You must come for dinner soon, when you're up to it, we would love to have you when Billy comes over, wouldn't we Charlie?" squeezing Charlie's arm, he looked at me, and nodded mutely, breathing slowly.

"Sure, sure", his use of my old catch phase caught my attention; only one other person ever used it. I stood to my full height, towering above Charlie, as I cut my eyes to look at him, "Charlie where-"

"Mum! Charlie! What are you still doing here? You're gonna be late!" Leah appeared beside Charlie, almost pushing them both away from me. "I'm talking to them Leah", I growled at her, but she turned to look at me, a fierce look of anger and hatred etched across her face. "No. They are leaving, no one wants your bullshit tonight Jacob. SO. LET. IT. GO!" She bit out before she whirled away from me, and there was that smell again, distracting me as she steered her mom and Charlie out the door.

I must be hallucinating I concluded, as Quil appeared with two glasses brimming with the thick liquid I knew wouldn't fill the void or take away the pain or the fear that had settled in my heart when I panicked she had finally done it- but it would help me forget even if only for a little while. I grabbed both glasses, "to Oblivion" I toasted before I poured both down my throat in quick succession. I relished the burn as it slid down, slamming the glasses on the sideboard beside me, as I searched Leah out. I saw her speak to Seth and Embry again, before they looked around, I ducked my head, as Quil said something about another one. I glanced up again to see Leah duck out the front door without saying goodbye to anyone, while Embry and Seth seemed to be checking the coast was clear. Another girl appeared in front of me, I could feel the three Moonshines, the dozen beers I had consumed on the way here as well as the five since I got here beginning to take effect finally, as I turned to snarl at the girl. However it stuck in my throat and I froze in my tracks, as I took in the petite and slender brunette stood smiling up at me. I blinked twice, but as soon as her strange scent hit me, I realised it wasn't her and I felt something inside me click, just as Paul swooped in, grabbing the girl around the middle, and literally carrying her away without me even saying a word.

"Hey baby" I heard him purr, which made me see red, as Rachel's warm hand grasped my wrist firmly, although I knew I could break her grip easily, I didn't try to.

"He's trying to help in his way Jake. But you have to let her go, you can't lose it at every pretty Brunette who wants to speak to you- or any girl for that matter", she spoke with the authority of someone who had whooped my ass one too many times, who had been there for me and was one of the last few people who still cared. After all she had dropped everything to return home to care for our father when I did my running act, and now was stuck with Lahote; who, for all his faults, loved her enough, to swoop in and save me losing my shit at some unfortunate girl.

While this was all going on I was keeping an eye on the Embry and Seth as one slipped out, quickly followed by the other. I took Rachel's hand off my wrist, but in an attempt not to offend her, I grabbed her to me and gave her a kiss. "I know, I know, look I'm sorry Rach but I gotta go. Make sure Dad gets home okay for me? And- tell Lahote... thanks."

"Jake-"

"I need to RUN Rach" I stated giving her a pointed look, as she nodded in understanding and with a look of sadness, let me go. I slipped out of the same door they had used and sniffed the air, following the other wolves' scent, quickly picking up Leah's as well. Once under the cover of trees, I pulled my shorts down, but then changed my mind. If I phased in they would know I was following them, so instead I waited, listening to the sounds of the forest, I heard a wolf yip in the distance, as I closed my eyes and let my heightened hearing and sense of smell pick up all the information I needed. My eyes flung open as I began soaring through the woods on two legs, following their still potent scent, but stayed far enough behind that they wouldn't hear me, I knew if I couldn't hear them they had no chance of hearing me, and I was down wind to them so I knew they wouldn't pick up my scent either. I followed them through La Push and out into Forks, it didn't take me long to work out where they were going but I couldn't work out why. Once I realised where they were going, I let my memory lead me to the Swan's.

I stood watching the house for a while, I was too far away to pick up any voices, the curtains were pulled but I could see shadows moving around inside. Charlie's cruiser was in the driveway and surprisingly so was Sue's car.

I felt the familiar lick of anger surge through me, as I realised I had been lied to and wanted to know once and for all the what the hell was going on, I knew I owed an apology to Embry and Seth even Leah but I hadn't done anything to Charlie for him to be so angry towards me, and then Sue had lied to me about why they had to leave early. None of it made sense as I reached the porch and jumped the steps in one as my fist made contact with the door I could hear the hushed whispers of Leah and Embry. SO they were here, just as I knew they might be, but I had hoped I was simply being paranoid and suspicious; that maybe Sue and Charlie just wanted a night to themselves, after all it was their first Christmas Eve together, but hearing Leah hissing at the others to be quiet in an almost soundless whisper, I knew that wasn't the case. I sniffed a laugh, none of them had any idea how much more powerful my hearing was these days; they thought I wouldn't be able to hear their whispers; it was barely audible to my extra sensitive hearing. I heard heavy footsteps, I felt myself shaking violently, with anger and indignation and stepped backwards, to try and gain some composure before Charlie swung the door open, but as he did a gust of air engulfed me. I was hit with her scent, I was surrounded and suffocating in her scent, her human scent and it was fresh. I staggered back as my mind was assaulted with memories of her, the way she looked, the way she smiled, the way she would look up at me, the way her skin would glow when she blushed, the sound of her voice and her laughter.

Charlie, looked astonished and taken aback with my sudden change and the look of pain that must have been etched across my face, before he quickly wiped his face of any emotion. "Bells..." was the only thing I could push past my lips.

"Jake what-" but I didn't, couldn't wait as I pushed past him as he shouted and tried to grab me as I barrelled inside, only to come up against a wall of wolves, as Leah stood, with Embry and Seth, shoulder to shoulder with her, and blocking my way to the living room, to her.

"Bella" I yelled but the living room was empty. Leah stomped the last few steps towards me, until she was in my face before she shoved me violently, "She isn't here Jake! So get out! Now!"

"Don't bullshit me Leah! I can smell her and she's human! She's alive. Where is she?"

"What the hell are you talking about boy? Of course she is human and alive!"

"Charlie not now" Sue tried to calm Charlie, but he was looking at me like I had two heads.

"No Sue, I want to know what he means and how the hell can he smell Bella?"

"Charlie, I just wanna see Bells. Please," I begged all animosity gone, "She was here. She's still her, please. Just tell me what happened. I just wanna-".

"Look Jake, Bella was here earlier okay but she left, Charlie didn't even see her. They came home to get presents for Mum's aunt and found gifts from her. Charlie got upset and mum rang us to see if we could find anything", Leah replied softly, but Charlie looked bewildered still.

Sue was trying to lead me into the kitchen, and with my head currently a mess, I allowed her to pull me into a chair. Her scent was so strong, and for the first time in as long as I could remember, my wolf felt calm; well calmer he at least wasn't going berserk. Yet I knew something wasn't right, Seth was fidgeting- his go to response when he felt awkward like hers… like hers was to bite her lip or chew her hair, or wring her hands or bite her nails. Each of the wolves were strategically placed between me and the hallway, no the stairs, but as Leah's words sunk in I realised she was lying, no one had rang her, Embry or Seth. So how would they have known to come here? Unless, unless it was arranged beforehand. Charlie was still demanding answers, and that's when I heard the loose floorboard in her room creak, like it always had whenever you walked in or out of her room or you stood by the door, listening and hiding.

I knew I could barge past them all, but I knew that wouldn't win me any favours with Charlie so instead I tried a different tactic.

"I'll show you what I'm on about Charlie and then I'll tell you everything you want to know. You remember the old Legends?" Charlie looked confused as everyone else in the house gave a surprised gasp, including the one I was trying to lure out and it had worked as her bedroom door was flung open so fast it smacked into the wall and made a loud crash. Every head shot upwards towards the ceiling before turning to the stairs.

A shrill "Noooo", came from the stairs as light feet pounded down the stairs. I leapt up as Leah and Embry both grabbed me, and Seth raised his arms to catch Bella as she reached the bottom of the stairs and he steadied her.

My eyes grew large and I gasped harshly as I took her in for the first time since she had broken my heart by choosing him. She looked more pale and gaunt then I remembered, but as she turned to face me I saw her stomach was swollen and round, she stepped back, away from me and closer to Seth and wrapped her arms protectively around her engorged middle, almost as if she…

"You- you're pregnant? How-How is that possible?" I asked, I felt bile racing up my throat and I fought to swallow it as I thought of him inside her, of her carrying his spawn, but then I thought of her below me crying out my name in ecstasy, but the memory was snatched away by the one that had been scorched onto my brain; her telling me she chose him all over again. She must have been carrying some kind of monster for her to be as big as she was; it couldn't have been no more than five months at most since the wedding yet she was huge, but that wasn't what shocked me or even what made me think it was his demon in there. It was how sick she looked that scared, distressed and angered me the most. I fought to get Leah and Embry off me, as my heart broke all over again at the sight of her, and a tear escaped and ran down my face before I could wipe it away. I couldn't do this again. I looked around at them all, as they waited, they had all known and kept it from me, kept her from me, now she was dying to raise his monster, and still they all stood by. I looked into their eyes, and saw it all there. My wolf who had been purring until now was clawing to get out and tear that bloodsucker to pieces any bloodsucker would do, until I found Cullen. I couldn't stay here, not now, so I flew out the door and off the porch running for the woods. I heard her voice then, for the first, shouting for me to wait, I ignored her, the pleading almost begging tone to her voice, as I heard the Leah and Charlie tell her to let me go, and forget me, as Sue tried to calm everyone, as Seth tried to argue it was a shock and I'd be back. I huffed a sarcastic laugh at that and I could hear footsteps behind me, Embry, still I carried on running, digging my trainers into the ground nothing would make me go back there, ever. When a piercing scream filled the air, and literally ripped through me stopping me in my tracks. I spun around to see Bella, bent over clutching her stomach, the light from inside highlighting her. Without thinking I had charged across the grass and snatched her up before anyone else had moved. I laid her on the couch gently, shouting for Leah to call an ambulance, Embry and Seth to get Charlie out of the way, and Sue to help Bella.

As Bella cried out in pain again, I looked up bewildered at Sue "Do something! Please help her".

I gently used my hand to push her hair out of her eyes, my other tightly holding hers, "What's wrong Bells? Honey please," I begged, "please tell me what's wrong? Please!"

"Jake it's okay." Sue spoke with a calm authority to her voice, as she placed a hand on my shoulder, "Bella, sweetheart, I think it's time. The babies want to come meet their momma", Sue smiled down at Bella, speaking spoke softly, as Leah, having ignored my shouts for an ambulance, carried in a bowl with water and wrung out a cloth, all the while giving orders to Embry and Seth to go and put the kettle on, call Billy and then stay in the kitchen, before telling Charlie to go and get some towels and blankets.

"Babies? There is more than one - how many are in there? And what does my dad have to do with any of this? Did he know?"

"Hey now boy! Don't you dare talk to my baby girl or about my grand babies like that! In fact get out you're not welcome here!"

"Dad, please. Not. Now", Bella spoke through the pain, gritting her teeth. "Sue- it isn't time I'm only seven months-"

"Wait? Seven-" I quickly did the math, as another pain shot through her.

"But that's May?"

"Yes Dumbass they are yours. Now move so I can help Bella". I stumbled back in shock as the room went deathly quiet; Bella had her eyes squeezed tightly closed, as Leah whispered into her ear.

"Bella, remember what we practised?" Bella nodded, "good. Do you remember what we talked about?" again Bella nodded, as Sue having now chucked Charlie out, checked Bella over. "Okay, you have to decide now; Hospital or the Medical centre? It's too early for a home one like you wanted sweetie."

Sue spoke then telling Bella she had a while to go, as her waters hadn't broken but she was having contractions, and as the twins were early she wanted to get her to the doctors as quickly as possible. I was staring at Sue with my mouth hanging open after she had announced twins; I could see Bella nodding as Sue spoke. Charlie edged back in, and a growl erupted as my wolf seemed to grasp the situation long before I did. Charlie raised an eyebrow at me, as Leah stood up and hit me around the back of the head. "Rein it in before-"

"Listen boy I have no idea what the hell is going on but you growl at me again I'll take my gun to you got it? If it isn't bad enough you abandoned Bells-"

"Abandoned her?" I roared as Bella tried to speak, "Dad, you know that isn't true. Jake was long gone before I found out and you know it. He didn't sleep with me and run off. I… Argh!"

"This isn't the time and place, okay. I have a feeling after tonight we are all going to have a lot of questions but right now, our priority is Bella and the babies". Charlie and I nodded, I was still dazed but Bella's cries, made me drop to my knees and grab her hand again.

"I'm sorry Bells, I'm sorry I thought- I'm sorry." She raised a cold hand and cradled my face, mumbling, "Ssh. Sisokay, Tismyfault. Ishouldhavetoldyou. Imsorry. Iwasscar-Argh", her words snatched away by another contraction took her by surprise. I looked at Sue and Leah pleading with them, "Help her! Do something!" Leah glared at me, as Sue look at me with understanding, she had been the only one to show me any compassion. "I thought it was meant to be slower, you know longer, why is she in so much pain?" I hoarsely whispered to her.

Sue bit her lip as she looked down at her future step-daughter, "Bella, you need to choose where you want to deliver, I don't think we have as much time as we thought or would like!" As she spoke Bella called out in surprise as water soaked through her sweatpants. "La Push, I want _them_ there. I want _them_ there too. Get them there too" she exclaimed mysteriously as Leah nodded, "Embry sort it!" Leah yelled and within seconds Leah had Bella cradled in the back of the Cruiser, Sue was climbing in the front with Charlie and Embry was dragging me to Sue's car with Seth.

"I'm going with Bella!" I shouted as Charlie pulled out of the drive lights and siren blazing.

"GET IN!" Embry shouted as he started the car, "We have to get Billy and Old Quil on the way! Seth call Sam's."

"What the hell?"

"Bella wants the twins blessed. She wants knows they have to be born on tribal land and be blessed if they are to be accepted by the tribe Jake. She may not have told you but she had it all planned out, she wasn't going to deny them their roots. She wants them to be part of our tribe even if…" He stopped suddenly, "she and Leah have spoken in depth about it all, she told Sue and Charlie and Sue agreed to help her but Bella wanted to give Charlie the one thing they never got before, a Christmas together, a proper one since last year, well you know, she just wanted it be peaceful and perfect before the shit royally hit the fan." Embry stated as he sped through the dark following the distant glow of Charlie's police lights.

"She wanted them blessed anyway you know afterwards like normal, but I think with them being prem, she is gonna be freaking out. You know Bella, that's why she wants your dad and Old Quil there, just in case." Seth added almost in a whisper, as his words hit me like a sledge hammer.

I spun in my seat roaring at him, as he pinned himself against the seat, Embry swerved in surprise. "Jake calm the fuck down. Seth is telling you the truth. Bella has been worried and freaking out a lot- apparently its normal but if you haven't noticed carrying two babies has taken its toll on her body, and now they are coming early and quicker than they are supposed to-" he voice tapered off. I was amazed at how much they both knew.

"How the hell do you two fuckers know so much about Bella? How long have you known?" I boomed, anger taking over the shock and surprise. "You're supposed to be my best friend, my brother and you as well" I pointed at Seth, "and you both found out the girl I loved was pregnant, no was having my- MY- babies and was living at her dad's and you kept it from me!"

"Can you blame me? Us? Look at the state of you! Bella has had enough shit to deal with, without dealing with yours. She made us promise Jake, or she would leave. She was that sacred. Charlie and Leah begged us, look we can explain everything okay. It isn't like you think and for the record she isn't living with Charlie. She is living in Port Angeles with a school friend. Charlie begged her to spend Christmas with him and Sue, she agreed as long as we kept it quiet. That's why we had to sneak out of Em's party, do you realise how badly we wanted to tell you?"

"Why? Why is she so scared of me?" I asked utterly devastated, "Why didn't she want me to know? To know my own children?"

"It's not you Jake. She isn't and wasn't trying to hurt you", I scoffed as I wiped my eyes, looking out the window. "Imprinting. She is scared of you imprinting, of you leaving her and the babies, or worse feeling torn. She never wanted to put you or the babies in that position."

"What the- How many times do I have say I won't imprint? I know I won't." I bellowed, fury flooding my system. I was so pissed off that this curse was once again messing with my life, and keeping me from the only girl I would ever love.

"You- no one can know that Jake", Embry whispered his hands so tightly bound around the steering wheel his knuckles had gone white. Had Seth said it I'd have ripped his throat out but because it was Embry, I didn't. I looked at him, and that's when everything fell into place. He was in love with someone he hadn't imprinted on as well. He knew how I felt, but he wasn't as sure as I was. I knew it without a shadow of a doubt. I always had, before I was a wolf and even after I phased and then when I saw her but I didn't imprint, I still knew. I knew it in my heart and in my soul, hell even my wolf knew it.

I was watching him in my peripheral vision, trying to think who it could be, when it came to me. I had always felt something for Bella, and I felt a pull to her, even though I had never imprinted on her, just as I realised Embry had always felt a similar pull to Leah. I had seen the way he looked at her, and how he always let her take anger out him, and even made excuses for her when her constant torture and reminders about how he didn't know who is father was, got out of hand, or how often she would pop into his head when it was just patrolling but I always so consumed with Bella I never ever gave it any thought until now. Why else would Embry keep something from me, even if Charlie and Bella had asked or even begged, no matter how fondly he thought of Bella before the Leech had come back or even afterwards because he knew I would never abandon Bella imprint or not. Only one thing had ever come above our friendship, for me it had been Bella, for Quil it had been Claire, but Embry, Embry had always put us, even above everything else, his mom, the pack he always had our backs, until now.

We pulled up outside Sam's, for Billy and Old Quil and a small crowd had gathered outside, awaiting our arrival, I rumbled at the audience, my nerves were already unravelled and I was already at the end of my tether from being so far from her for so long especially when I knew she needed me, and even if she didn't I needed to be with her. I promptly jumped out and took off for the Medical center, leaving Seth and Embry to face the others, let them explain everything. I didn't have time for my old man or Old Quil's dramas let alone my sister's if she found out she was about to become an aunty not just once but twice.

I burst through the door and followed Bella's scent and her voice, Leah met me outside, dressed in hospital get up.

"How is she? How are they?" I tried to push past her, but she grabbed me, "Leah get the fuck off me", I snapped at her, feeling my wolf rear his head, and I saw her head sway slightly before she stood up. "No, you're not my Alpha, and even if you were- I'd still say no. You are gonna listen to what I have to say first. I have been there for her every step of the way since I found out and unlike you I knew they were yours the minute I smelt her. You have no idea what this has been for her Jake", I tried to interrupt her to let her know that wasn't my fault, but she shoved her hand in my face and carried on regardless, "so I will say this only once so listen up Black. Don't you dare go in that room to her, and be there for her unless you are damn sure beyond any doubt that you want her and only her. That there won't be any other for you, that you can fight any imprint Jacob Black, because if you ever leave her I will hunt you down and kill you or I will damn well die trying".

"When the hell did you start caring about Bells Leah? You hate her! SO move the fuck out my way!"

I saw anger blaze in her eyes. "Don't you dare Black!"

"LEAH. I may not be your Alpha but I can still command you, so let me through. Now!" Again I saw her physically fight the order, what the hell was going on with her. As Beta I knew my orders had to be obeyed, I just detested giving them out, yet earlier I hadn't order Quil however he had still summited like Paul had, yet I was ordering Leah and she could fight it.

"LEAH!" I growled, I standing to my full height, my eyes I knew were more wolf than man at that moment, she whimpered but she stood firm.

"Let him through Leah" Sam ordered from behind me.

My mouth dropped as I watched her struggle against the order, but she still fought and won over Sam's Alpha order, I heard the shocked and surprised gasps from behind me but I saw the look of surprise in Leah's eyes. I looked at Leah and suddenly I saw her. I knew she was just trying to protect Bella from her own fate, now that Bella had two small babies dependant on her. Leah had experienced more pain than anyone else I knew, she was the only person who had any idea how I felt every time Bella rejected me, it was one of the reasons Leah detested Bella, now she was protecting and managing to fight Alpha orders. Something only the imprinted wolves' could do and that was on their imprints... But Leah had never imprinted on Bella I would have known. Whatever the hell was going on was freaking the hell out of me but right now all I wanted was to be with Bella while my children, our babies were born. So instead of arguing or barging past her, I spoke from the heart, "I will gladly let you kill me if I EVER hurt Bella or the babies. But I can swear on everything in me, I will never ever imprint and nor will I ever knowingly hurt any of them Leah. I love her. I always have. She is the only one for me." I kept eye contact with her, I saw my words were helping but she still didn't move.

"Leah, she is his imprint, she is safe with him, stand down," My father's deep baritone broke through and Leah buckled at his words, as Old Quil agreed, and I rushed past her, leaving Embry dashed to her side as she collapsed to the floor. My father's words not even reaching my ears as I charged through the door, only to be met by a frosty Charlie, "here put these on, she wants you" he replied gruffly. I pulled the garments on as quickly as I could, before bursting through another set of doors, to see Bella on the bed, her hair falling around her face, wet with sweat as she whimpered and Sue murmured reassuring words into her ear, and held her hand. Rushing forward I grabbed her other hand, whispering all the words I had moments before declared to Leah and in front of a corridor full of people, most I hadn't spoken to in months.

"Jake, Bella is having an accelerated birth, I'm not sure but I think the fact you're a phasing wolf has something to do with it, which is also why the babies have decided to come early, but we won't know until they arrive." I looked at Sue looking to see if she was being completely honest with me. I couldn't pick up any trances she wasn't but I knew deep down she wouldn't have lied to me about something as important as this. I looked towards Charlie to see his reaction to her talking about me being a wolf, but he glared back at me, "Charlie knows. I told him on the way here", sue said in way of explanation, she whispered "but not about the- er those Cold Ones", I nodded. "Bells, honey I'm here, I'm not leaving. Ever. You're stuck with me if you will have me", I pleaded. Bella whimpered in response as I kissed her hand, as she pushed down again, "Jake, I'm scared", she panted between pushes.

"Bells, these babies are tough, part Shapeshifter or not, they have us as parents, they are gonna be just fine. I promise", I vowed even though I wasn't sure myself.

"Get Billy, Dad", she panted as she finished pushing.

"Okay Bells, any minute now I need you to give a big push to get baby one's head out okay?" Sue said, I felt my heart start thumping erratically.

"You can do this honey, I am so proud of you. I love you", I whispered into her ear.

"I… Love…you… too Jake", she panted as she bore down, and with force that would have made a lesser man cry out, she squeezed my hand for dear life, until Sue cried "That's it! I can see the head".

The first baby was born just as both grandfathers, Leah and Old Quil rushed, though the doors behind Bella's head.

"It's a baby boy Bella!" Sue cried, as she checked him over and cut his cord, quickly swapping places with Leah to weigh the baby and wrap him in a blanket, as soon as she had done that she handed the baby to Leah, who gave a loud gasp, as she looked at our son for the first time, I looked up to see a mass of black hair, with a light hint of brown reflecting in the light.

"Well down Bells! We have a son, a son Bells!" I exclaimed excitedly as Sue encouraged her on "Keep going one more push Bella, good girl that's it! It's a girl! Oh Bella you have a baby daughter too," Sue cried as Bella fell back against the bed with exhaustion. "Bells, Bells you did it! We have a little girl too!"  
I heard cheering and back slapping from our fathers' in the corner.  
I looked at the clock only two hours ago I'd been stood outside Bell's old house, now I was a father of two and Bella was not only alive but by my side.

"Merry Christmas Bells," I said as I placed a kiss to her forehead, as Leah and Sue placed both babies into her outstretched arms.

AN: No imprints have taken place yet- the rest will be explained x


	4. a triple last shot

**A triple last shot**

The fire crackled in front of her, and laughter filled the air around her. Bella could make out the distinctive laughter of her father and Billy, as well as the deep husky laughter which belonged to her Jake, yet the curiosity as to the root of the laughter wasn't enough to break her focus. She was entirely absorbed and captivated by three young boys, bundled up in hats, coats and gloves as they dug near where the tide was coming in. She was so engrossed in them that she didn't hear or feel as Jake sat down beside her.

"Whatcha looking at Bells?" He whispered into her ear, making her jump with surprise. He gave a chuckle, as she slapped his arm. "Sorry, couldn't resist" he replied, in his deep husky voice, which made her body shiver in response. Blushing, Bella pulled her jumper and coat tighter around herself in attempt to cover her body betraying her, she glanced up at him as he gave a deeper, huskier laugh and grinned as he shook his head at her. Embarrassed and wanting to avoid any awkward conversation she made herself focus back on the trio as a scuffle broke out over one of their digging tools.

"Who are they?" she nodded towards the boys as one of the boys gallantly stepped between his two warring friends. Jake followed her gaze, and laughed as the middle boy struggled to keep the angry pair apart. "Those are Emily's nephews, her brother's children, Seth and Leah's cousin; the troublesome triplets" he shook his head, as he smiled fondly at them, "Claire's older brothers", he nodded back towards where young Claire was sleeping in Quil's arms. "Em calls them her trio of mischief, mayhem and trouble. Sam calls them by those names as well".

"And may the Great Spirits help their parents", come Billy's baritone voice, from behind the young pair. "Imagine having three Jacobs Bella! One was enough, hey Charlie, Sue! Although those three have nothing on you and your sidekicks Jacob- but at least we got to send the other two home, when they up to their usual antics. Charlie and Sue and I can tell you some tales Bella, proper little ruffians, they were!"

Bella who had only briefly glanced at Billy, before turning back to the children, and smiled at his comments as Jake had made disgruntled sounds beside her, finally turned away from the trio to look at Jake and was surprised to see not only had Sue and Charlie joined Billy, but so had Embry and Quil who was still holding a sleeping Claire, as well as Sam and Emily who were now all stood behind her and Jake. All the adults watched as the trio of boys, stopped fighting and began digging again with haste, their faint giggles carrying over to the group with the wind. Billy, Charlie and Sue regaled tales of a young Jake and his friends. Bella and Emily were crying with laughter, by the time Billy stopped mid tale to exclaim, "Ah hello there Little Jay, Quinn, and Embree, what have you been up to?"

Bella's mouth dropped open as she stared at Billy, before she turned around to look at the three young boys, who looked identical, as Jake laughed and bumped his shoulder against hers. "They are named after you?" She asked amazed, as everyone else laughed at her expression.

Emily answered her question, "all but little Quinn, there were already way too many Quil's - although he actually is like a clone of Quil! Jay is short for Jakob, but both Jakob and Embree are spelt differently. I don't think Conner and Ree thought naming their three after this three through carefully though" she laughed as all six boys pulled faces at her. The identical young boys barely waited for their aunt to finish before they rushed to show and tell the adults especially the tribe's Chief and the Chief of Police, about the treasures they had found on their hunt.

As they spoke, or Quinn and Jay competed to talk, while little Embree watched, and nodded shyly, Bella studied them carefully. She realised they each had little things that helped tell them apart. Quinn, had fuller lips then his brothers, and was the most talkative, and active, bouncing as he talked, as well as constantly interrupting his brother Jay whenever he tried to talk, until Jay's temper seemed to flare. Jay clearly had had enough of Quinn's attention seeking dramatics and moved to give his brother a shove, when Quinn once again jumped in and told their audience what Jay was about to say, however Sam anticipating the move, grabbed the young boy and swung him up in the air, making him giggle and forget why he was angry. Embree like his name sake seemed the shyest, and kept looking up from under his long dark eyelashes, with a timid smile on his face. He had the longest hair, which fell into his dark brown eyes, whereas Little Jay had a small mole below his left eye.

Bella smiled adoringly at the three boys it was hard not to, it really was like being transported back in time, to a younger Jake, Embry and Quil, even though the boys didn't look like any of their namesakes. It made Bella wonder what their son would look like before she realized her slip and nausea and jealously seized her.

Rushing to the sea, Bella fell to her knees as she threw up her dinner, and heaved long after her stomach was empty as tears she didn't realize she was shedding fell from her cheeks. Charlie, Jake and Emily had run to her side, but Bella had just continued to cry and had no explanations formed. So consumed with the internal grief she was suddenly gripped by. Jake had picked her up and cradled her, as the tide lapped around them, as Emily whispered an excuse about possible food poisoning to a confused Charlie and had guided him back to the bonfire, as her worried father watched, from over his shoulder as Bella's small frame convulsed with a heartbreak she had no idea she would feel, as her wolf silently comforted her, allowing her to grieve for the children and life she was giving up.

Bella had never thought of having children, it had never interested her, or even occurred to her to think about it. She had just thought children were just something other people did, when they were adults, grown up, married and settled down. It had never figured in her plans, she just had always thought, one day far off in the future she would settle down and have some- well until she had met Edward. But it wasn't something she had ever really given any serious thought to, let alone wondered what her children might look like, or what kind of mother she might be. Yet now Bella realized it was more than just her she was denying that experience too, she would never give Renee or Charlie a grandchild and would never know Jake's children - even if they weren't with her, which ripped another part of her heart away, as it crumbled into dust. She would never see them or know them, never know if they looked like him, or see him be the wonderful father she knew he would be, in fact she would never get to see any of her human friends as they grew older, got married and made families of their own.

But for a brief moment, as she sobbed uncontrollably, as Jake kissed her head and rocked her, Bella had seen her own future. She had seen two dark haired children running away from her, laughing and calling to their father, as the familiar russet wolf ran into the cover of the forest only for Jake to stroll out with his sunny smile. She had heard a giggle escape her lips as he fell to the ground dramatically, but laughing as their children had tackled him, and just as the vision faded, Bella had looked down and saw her hands rubbing her swollen tummy, but what had made it worse Bella had felt it, her baby inside her kicking. Now her stomach was flat, and barren. As it always would be.

Jake kissed her hair, and cradled her, as the tide crashed and lapped around them, as she grieved for the life and lives of her children she had only just realised she was giving up.

Over by the fire, the elders, Charlie and the pack gave fleeting glances to the pair, as Bella's anguish echoed around them.

"Why is the pretty lady crying Aunty Em?" Little Embree, the most sensitive one of the three asked, from big Embry's arms, despite his shyness he had grown incredibly fond of his special uncle who shared his name. Emily stroked the young boy's cheek, before bestowing her caring young nephew a kiss, "she is just feeling a little poorly sweetheart, and hopefully she will feel better soon".

"Do you think it worked?" Sam asked under his breath as the pack watched Jake and Bella from a far, all praying that this time their plan to get through to their Jake's imprint had finally worked - even if it was only enough to make her really think about her choices before it was too late.

Emily looked up at her fiancé, with hope in her eyes, as he juggled Jay and Quinn, who were trying to poke each other from either side of his head, while Embry trying to distract little Embree from his concern over Bella with hoisting him onto his shoulders and Quil shifted his sleeping imprint, from one shoulder to the other. "I hope so, after all how could anyone meet these little munchkins and not fall in love with them or not want one!" She said as she subconsciously stroked her own flat belly, which held its own secret.

"Come on you three it's time for bed", Emily spoke to the triplets, but her gaze was on Bella and Jake, as Jay and Quinn whined at her. Embree whispered into Embry's ear, who too looked over at Bella as he hesitated before lowering the small boy down to the ground. As soon as his feet touched the ground, Embree took off at full speed before his Aunt Emily could catch him, he already knew Uncle Sam and Quil had their arms full with his siblings. He made a dash towards the pretty lady and Uncle Jake, his shoes and trousers soaked up the sea water as he splashed through the incoming tide. Reaching them, he suddenly grew nervous, twisting his hands he looked at Uncle Jake, who winked at him and gave him a large smile, without moving his lips from the pretty lady's hair, as she cried softly, into his shirt.

"You okay there little Mischief?" Jake asked as he re-adjusted Bella ever so slightly, upon hearing Jake's voice louder than a whisper, Bella sucked in a deep lungful of air in an attempt to steady her tears. She peeked out from under her sodden lashes to see the little boy Jake had referred to as mischief, and saw he was doing the same and dry washing his hands anxiously, before she saw he was standing in the cold sea water up to his knees and as was she and Jake, although being on Jake's lap had saved her from the majority of the depth and temperature of the water.

"Oh Jake! He is all wet, and so are you!" The horror of seeing the small child so wet and cold in front of her, shocked Bella out of her own head, and she rapidly climbed out of Jake's lap, and without thinking lifted the little boy out of the water and placed him on her hip and hurried back to the beach. Jake surprised by Bella's sudden change of mood, smiled at the image of his Bells carrying a child like it was the most natural thing in the world. His wolf was ecstatic, and howling inside.

"Eh pretty lady," the little boy asked as he cuddled into her warmth. His choice of words surprising Bella, especially since she knew her eyes would be red and swollen from crying, but as she looked at him, he looked so earnest she gave a little giggle, "I'm not pretty, but you are very cute for saying I am, so thank you... it's Embree, isn't it?" He nodded enthusiastically and gave her a wide sunny smile, delighted that Bella knew which one he was. People always got them wrong or called them 'Little one', only family knew them well enough to tell them apart, and this pretty lady had only just met him.

"Well then thank you very much Embree and you are very handsome", she giggled as he blushed. He really did remind her of big Embry. "Aunty Em said it's bedtime now," he pouted at her,

"Ah well that's a shame but you have to do as Aunty Emily says sweetie pie, so if she says its bedtime, then it's bedtime".

"Will you tell me a bedtime story please?" He asked her, before quickly looking down and playing with the piece of hair he had subconsciously been wrapping and unwrapping around his little fingers. Bella gave a gasp and stopped walking surprised by the unexpected request. She felt Jake's warmth radiate through her as he placed his large hand across the small of her back, it then traced a line to the dip in her waist as he pulled her into him before briefly placing his hand on her hip before lifted it off to rub Embree's back, where he kept it; wrapped around the two of them, as they both shivered as the cold breeze raced around them, in their wet clothes.

"Come on let's get you two back to Em's and into some warm clothes, before you both freeze to death". Bella glanced up at him and saw his lips move rapidly but she didn't hear anything, she glanced towards the pack and saw Emily walking beside Sam as he carried the other two young boys, Quil carrying Claire, Seth pushing Billy, and walking alongside Charlie and Sue, while the rest of the pack and Kim quickly put the bonfire out and packed up the blankets, but she was sure she had seen all of the pack's heads dip as if agreeing to something. Seeing the deep frown line between her eyebrows grow deeper, Jake kissed her hair and chuckled, "I was telling them I was taking you both to Emily and Sam's to get changed, Sam said they were taking the party back there anyway so they can put the children to bed, that's all honey, stop fretting".

"I'm not a child, Uncle Jake, I'm a big boy, I am seven pretty lady, Claire is a baby, she is only two", an indignant little voice piped up, making both of them giggle. "Well, well, looks like you have yet another admirer Bells. I've never heard Mischief here, say boo to a goose before" Jake whispered into her ear, making her shiver again. Mistaking it for the cold, he wrapped his arm tighter around them both, but made no move to take Embree from her. "Sorry little man! I forgot you were the big seven now! But now that I remember you're actually a big boy now, there is something I have to tell you; you see this pretty lady here Embree, she is your Aunty Bella, and she is my Bells, and unfortunately she is already taken so you may have to find another pretty lady", He smiled brightly at the little boy and winked at Bella, as she laughed at Jake and at Embree's cute little blushes and how his little lip was now sticking out. "Oh shush, Uncle Jake. Don't you listen to him Embree! You can call me Bells too if you want or anything else you want to okay Embree?" as she placed a kiss to his cold cheek and laughed as Jake let out a low growl.

Shaking her head at him, she whispered knowing he could hear her, "Jake, he is freezing, we need to get him home quickly. Maybe you should carry him. You can warm him up."

"I don't think he will come to me honey, Embry and Sam are the only two wolves, he will talk to or go anywhere near, let alone pick him up. Honestly I don't know what you have done to him because he has never called me uncle Jake before let alone spoke to me directly like he just did. Normally Q or J speak for him. He won't even let Seth or Leah pick him up."

Bella was gobsmacked, but clutched the little boy to her tighter as he shivered, and picked up her pace to catch up to the others. By now they were coming level with Embry, Jared and Kim. Embry reached for Little Embree, "Come here M, you look like a frozen lamb chop", but the youngster shook his head, shoved his thumb in his mouth, and buried his head further into Bella's neck. The two wolves exchanged a look over Bella's head, but Bella was quietly relishing in the warmth of the young child who had cocooned himself in her arms.

"Bells, Em is gonna help you sit on my back, all you have to do is keep ya arms wrapped around M, ok?" Bella looked wide eyed at Jake, "I-", "Bella you're both freezing and shivering, unlike Jake here, you two can't dry your clothes with wolf heat, so we'd both feel better getting you home quick. Jake can run with you on his back, and M here won't let you go, so the only way is for you both to go on Jake's back, and I can run behind you, okay?" Bella nodded, then as Jake crouched down, she looked at the little boy, who did look very cold, she nodded again, and brushed his hair down with her other hand. She looked up at Em as he lifted her onto Jake's back so she didn't have to break her embrace, "why do you call him M?"

Jake and Embry chuckled, as Jake raised back up, as Bella leaned into his warmth, he wrapped his arms around her legs, and he began to run across the beach with Embry beside him, his hand on Bella's back. This was nothing like running with Edward. She didn't feel sick, or wind swept like she did, although she knew Jake was being extra careful because of his cargo, but even without her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, she still felt safer than she had – well ever before.

They stopped outside Emily and Sam's and Embry lifted her off Jake. Jake as soon as she was off him, spun around to check she was okay. "Ssssh! You'll wake him up. But we're fine Jake honestly." But she allowed him to check her out himself. "So… M…?"

"It's got a triple meaning, M is short for Embree, but we already have two Ems with Embry and Emily, so M stuck, Plus Jakob is J, and Quinn is Q so they all have letters, but it is also for-"

"Mischief?" Bella guessed and the two wolves smiled at her, "yep", they said in unison.

"How comes he is Mischief? He seems like the least mischievous one out of the three of them?" she asked.

Embry laughed as Sam stepped through the door and reached for his nephew, "looks can be deceiving Bella, trust me it's always the quiet ones! He can be quite the mischief maker. Besides I am sure if you had too, you could work out who was mayhem and who was trouble?" As he pulled Embree away from Bella, the little boy yelped and clung to her. Sam looked stunned.

"Looks like you have a new fan Bella. Eh do you mind helping me get him into bed before Emily kills me?" She nodded and followed Sam through their small cabin she could hear the others outside. She heard Quil greet Embry but not Jake, so she figured he must be waiting for her.

"So who do you reckon we call mayhem?" Sam asked to break the silence, she giggled as she thought of the three boys earlier. "Well if he is anything like his older namesake and I think he is, I will bet my last dollar, Quinn is mayhem and trouble is little Jay?"

"Right on the money! Seriously it's like having a mini Quil hurricane around the house!" He smiled at her as they walked through a wooden door into a room where a double bed took up the majority of the space, and a small cot lay at the bottom. Emily was carefully tucking in the other two boys who looked at her carrying their brother.

"Hey it's the pretty lady who was crying! Are you okay now lady?"

Little Embree suddenly wiggled down from her arms, surprising her as he spoke because she had thought he was sleeping soundly

"Her name is Bella, Q. I know it cos she told me". Embree spoke knowingly, and grinning earnestly at his brothers, as he put his hands on his hips. He pointing at Jacob before speaking in a loud whisper, "told me he loves her, and I'm not allowed to try and steal her, 'cause she is taken - which she ain't 'cause she's still here with me". His vibrate chatter stunned the adults, and Bella blushed at his words. As his brothers, stared at Bella and then Jacob, and then Embree.

"Well, actually her name is Aunty Bells" He added in a more subdued tone, "but she is gonna be my Bells one day but don't tell Uncle Jake". He seemed to have forgotten he had an audience behind him as well, who could hear everything he had declared, suddenly remembering as Sam gave a small cough, making Embree freeze as he turned ever so slowly to look at the three adults shyly, suddenly unsure of himself. "Yeah lets keep that bit of info to just us hey boys?" Uncle Sam said as he winked at Embree, who nodded eagerly, "and ladies?" Bella was overly embarrassed by the attention, but Sam and Emily were both stunned, by the longest speech they had ever heard their nephew give. They all nodded, and he seemed to relax, as Emily started taking off his wet clothes. "AND she is gonna tell us a bedtime story, because I stopped her crying, didn't I Aunty Bells?"

Before she could answer, Quinn piped up again, "Oooooh goody can we have the one about the spirit warriors and the wolves, that Uncle Sam tells us. You are very pretty Bells-"

"Hey, only me and Uncle Jake can call her Bells! Isn't that right aunty Bells?" Overwhelmed by being the center of attention, Bella was extremely flustered making her slow in replying. "Hmmm I think only me and Chief Charlie can call her Bells actually Little M" said a deep voice, from behind them. Bella spun around to find Jake leaning casually against the door frame. Sensing her unease he stepped away from the door and walked towards her, and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her hair.

Embree had hidden behind his aunt's legs, as Jake had walked into the room. Seeing his scared face, and the anxious faces of his brothers', Jake spoke more softly, softer than normal, "I tell you what M, how about we make a deal? You can call her Bells but only if you remember she is Aunty Bells to you, and my Bells?" The little boy nodded, as Jake winked at him, "and then you can help me protect her when I have to work?" Bella froze, she wouldn't get to see them again, yet Jake was making it sound like she would. Feeling her freeze in response he pulled her into him, and whispered "breathe Bells".

"Em, Bells needs some dry clothes can she borrow some of yours please?" Emily stood and took Bella's hand, "Of course, you boys get M changed while Bella and I get sorted", and before either wolf could reply she had pulled her out of the bedroom, just as they heard little M burst into tears.

"Is he going to be okay?" Bella asked concerned.

"Yeah he will be just fine, as for the two huge babies I may have just freaked them out for life. Have to say Bella, I have never seen M this attached to anyone before, I don't know what you did Bella but he has definitely taken to you." Bella was perplexed herself as to why the little boy was so taken with her. She knew from what Jake had told her Embree wasn't keen on the other wolves or even many adults, so for his aunt to agree, made her feel a whole range of emotions, some she wasn't even sure what they even were. She could hear Jake and Sam talking in hushed voices next door, but figured they were trying to convince Embree into his PJs. Emily grabbed some clothes, and then pulled a still stunned Bella towards the bathroom. She switched the shower on, and placed two towels, and the clothes on the side next to the sink, along with a hairbrush.

"Eh there are some undies there too, Bella. They are brand new. I got some for – well I thought Leah may need them you know in an emergency, but- anyway everything else you need is in the shower already, the top nozzle turns it on and off and that nozzle controls the temperature". She looked at Bella, and leaned in and kissed the brunette on the cheek and squeezed her hand, before she walked out leaving Bella alone for the first time that evening.

Tonight had been a right royal head mess-a-up-er, it had truly thrown her numerous curve balls. Stripping off she climbed into the shower and flicked the nozzle around to increase the heat, until it was burning her skin only when she felt she couldn't take the heat anymore, she did turn it down, and even then it was only by a notch sheer two as she scrubbed her skin and washed her hair.

Bella climbed out of the shower and grabbed the towel, knocking the hair brush onto the floor, as she rubbed the water from her eyes, and dried herself off, then wrapped the other towel around her body before she started her search for the hairbrush. She spotted it almost straight away, but was surprised to see it had landed in the waste bin and not on the floor. Reaching in, past a wad of used tissues, she grabbed the hairbrush only to see something she had only ever seen on the television at the bottom. Glancing at the door, she reached in and pulled the white stick out and gasped when she saw the two blue lines.

Suddenly her legs gave out as the wind left her, she dropped the stick, and it clattered back into the waste bin just as Bella's body slumped onto the cold wooden flooring as the feelings of nausea and jealousy, reared alongside heartbreak, devastation and grief as they all came crashing down on her, pushing her down and down, until she was lying on the floor curled into a ball and wept once again, where she stayed until hot arms wrapped around her and pulled her back together, as they cradled her once again.

"Hush Bells, it's okay, shhh please Bells, let me in, and tell me what is wrong?" Jake's soft voice whispered into her hair as he peppered her hair with kisses, rocking her gently. But the more he tried the more she cried, until she suddenly felt small hands patting her skin, and her hair, and a little breath that smelt of toothpaste whispering, "Please don't cry Aunty Bells, you can still tell us a story. We aren't asleep yet."

"You can sleep in our bed too, if you want Aunty Bells", another little voice said, and she felt Jake rumble, which made her splutter a laugh through her tears.

"Q, stop spending so much time with Quil, he is a bad influence on you and you're lucky you're only seven kid, otherwise I'd be kicking ya butt".

"Jake!" Bella chastised as she opened her eyes to find little Embree only centimeters from her face, little Jay, bent over him, patting her hair, and Quinn patting her hair, and Jake rumbling underneath her, as Emily appeared in the doorway with Sam stood with his back to them all, asking if she was okay, without looking.

"Sam, Em, I know they mean well, but the fact that they are so close to my – Bells, when she only has a tiny towel around her, is making my-me- ah screw it. The other half of me doesn't like it. Sorry guys." Bella, didn't really understand why Jake's wolf was so protective- if that was the right word, or was it possessive- of her, especially with three small children. Sure she could understand Sam maybe, but not three babies; even if they were boys.

"I'll explain later" Jake whispered like he could hear her thoughts.

"Uncle Jake what you mean your other half? Have you got two parts of you?"

"Oooooo like the Spirit warriors? "

"ooooo yeah! Imagine how cool would that be?"

"Can you turn into wolf Uncle Jake?"

"Please, please say yes!"

Jay and Quinn kept up their constant chattering until Sam gave a subtle order to quieten and to go back to bed, which only started them pleading with Bella to come and tell them a story or at least to read them a story. Embree hadn't said a word, just sat in front of Bella, rubbing and patting her hand, as Emily called him out he looked at Bella sorrowfully, and leaned in and whispered softly, "Please don't cries, aunty Bells. I loves you" he paused, thinking, as Jake huffed loudly into Bella's hair. "More than chocolate milk and I loves that the best" he planted a wet sloppy kiss, on her tear stained cheek, and glanced up at Jake, before shuffling out of the room.

Jake wrapped his arms firmly around Bella, carefully, and they sat there quietly for a while, until even Bella could hear her name being mentioned several times. She made to get up, but Jake held her firm. "Bells you don't have to go until you're ready", but she wriggled out of his embrace.

"Jake, I'm okay, they will quiet down once I've read to them, besides I can't hold Emily and Sam's bathroom hostage, they only have one, and everyone will be wondering what is wrong with me- what must my dad think?"

"Bells, seriously, stop worrying about everyone else all the freaking time. The only person I give a damn about is you." Seeing she was trying to climb up while holding her towel in place, as she blushed when she realized how short it was, Jake stood and helped her up while keeping his eyes closed.

"I'll just eh, get dressed and I'll be right out Jake",

"Okay Bells, I'm going to have a little chat with your fan club, he smiled at her with his eyes still closed, before he turned around to go out, before stopping at the door, "Oh and Bells, we are going to talk about this" before he walked out and shut the door leaving her standing there with her mouth open.

They had both laid on either side of the three triplets, and Bella had read them a story, and then Jake had told them a shorter version of the tale of Spirit warriors, Bella was amazed little Claire hadn't woke up during any of the evenings events since she had fallen asleep earlier. As Bella grazed over the four sleeping children she felt another tear escape her, and she quickly brushed it away before Jacob could see it, as they eased out of the bedroom, and closed the door behind them.

Bella went to walk towards the backyard, to where the lively chatter told her that's where everyone else was gathered, but Jake pulled her towards the front of the house and out the front door.

"Jake where are we going?"

"We are going to have a long overdue talk Bells, I think it's about time don't you?"

Jacob took Bella's hand and weaved his fingers in between hers, as he turned to look at her, Bella was nibbling nervously on her bottom lip. He had begun pulling her towards the beach so they had privacy but Bella gave a shiver as he looked at her and Jake changed his mind.

"Wait here!" He commanded and ran into the house, coming back seconds later carrying a coat and a blanket. "Come on", intertwining their fingers again, he set off again with a still anxious Bella trailing behind him, "Bells, relax, it's just me and you. Jake and Bells, like always. Relax", before adding, "and breathe."

"Where are we going Jake?" Bella asked when Jake turned left into the woods, instead of heading to the beach as she had presumed they would. "The weather is-", He chuckled as Bella raised her eyebrow at him, "Okay, okay, it's getting chilly, and I don't want you getting cold or catching pneumonia! Hence…" he said holding up a coat she presumed belonged to Emily or maybe Kim and the picnic blanket. He helped her put it on, before taking her hand again, "Jake if you were worried about that we could have stayed - oh wolf hearing", he nodded, and led her through the trees down a dirt path which from the overgrown sides didn't look well used.

"I've never been - actually thinking about it, I don't think I've really explored much of La Push," Bella commented more to herself then to Jake, "Well you're more than welcome to explore Bells, and more than safe, to hike around here. In fact you're safer here, then the woods out the back of Charlie's. You'll love this though just wait." He led her off the dirt track and through the trees until they reached a small clearing, with a pond in the middle, where the moon glistened onto the water, making it sparkle like glitter.

"Wow!" Bella's mouth fell open, "It's so… Jake, this is so-!" She just looked around her, unable to find the words to describe the breath taking scene in front of her. Jake chuckled, "I am really happy you like it Bells!"

"Like it? I love it! I've never seen anything so beautiful. This place is so amazing how did you find it?"

"Erm well it's kinda a special place, not many people know about it, well actually only the elders and the pack know about it, I'll tell you more later first we need to talk about earlier".

"Oh" was Bella's intelligent response, as Jake threw the blanket onto the ground, and sat down and patted the space besides him, as Bella was wringing her hands, nervously and chewing on her bottom lip again.

"Bella, sit! And stop chewing on that damn lip. It's just me. Breathe woman!" She nodded and edged closer to him, but yelped when Jake jumped up and grabbed her legs from underneath her, so she fell backwards into his arms. She swatted his chest, and chastised him. "Well we would both be old by the time you made your way over", he teased. "Stop over-thinking everything Bella, just breathe and relax. You can say anything to me, even if it isn't what I want to hear, have I ever reacted badly?" She arched a knowing eyebrow at him and he rolled his eyes back at her, "okay- but only when I know you aren't being honest with me or yourself!"

He settled down, still holding Bella cradled in his arms once again, and Bella didn't try to climb out of his embrace. "So-" Jake started and then cleared his throat, as Bella looked down at their hands, which were still entwined. "Bells look at me please. Please", his voice changed slightly at the end, and Bella felt compelled to look at him, he rested his head against hers.

"What happened earlier Bells?"

"Jake please" Bella shook her head,

"Bells, look at me, you don't have to tell me", she exhaled deeply, relieved.

"I already know why you reacted the way you did early, okay I know they are all linked, you crying and trying to hide it when we left the children confirmed it, as for the incident in the bathroom and at the bonfire, I know they are linked but I'm not sure what made you upset, so I need you to talk to me please", Bella gave a little gasp in surprise. She shook her head, to cover her face with her wet hair Jake pulled one of his hands free, and pushed her hair behind her ear.

"Bells, it's me, I'm supposed to be your best friend, you know the one person you can tell anything too, the person who knows you better than you know yourself, so let's stop with the bullshit", hearing Jake raise his voice and curse, made Bells quiver. His wolf growled in response, which made Bella jump.

His eyes grew darker, and he had to take a few deep breaths to get his wolf to calm down. He had never felt him so close to the surface except when he phased and chasing a blood sucker. He suddenly realized what Sam had meant, when he said the wolf will know what their imprint wanted from them and if her feelings were to change to attraction and love, therefore alerting the wolf that their imprint was ready and wanted to be their mate then the wolf would want and try to make a claim on her. Jake and Jared had both panicked thinking it meant their wolves would try and mark the girls and force them to be their mates before they fully understood the full extent of the imprint and therefore not necessarily ready, or in Bella's case ever willing to admit it to herself let alone act out on it despite how she felt on the inside. But Sam and then Billy had explained it all properly to them. Plus Jake had seen it in action with Jared and Kim. It had been easy for Jared because Kim was more than willing to take Jared as her boyfriend; she had already been in love with him. So Jared's wolf had felt it straight away and Jared had felt his wolf surface almost immediately, whereas Jake's imprint had been more like Quil's, as a protector, a friend, it was only recently he had felt her feelings change towards him and the little time he spent with her lately, he had sense her feelings changing from friend to more, but not enough she was ready to accept him as her partner or mate. He knew she was attracted to him and had feelings for him, but she was still in denial.

This was the first time Jake had felt his wolf try to take charge, and he panicked knowing Bella wasn't ready, she didn't even know about the imprint, and she was still dating the leech. Bella was invading his senses and driving both man and wolf insane. He knew he had to tell her everything but he was hoping he could manage to get her to open up about her feelings first. He managed to concentrate on his breathing and ignore his wolf clawing at him. He was taking large breathes, and opened his eyes to see Bella looking at him concerned.

"Bells-I-need-to-tell-you-something-but-i-need-you-to-tell-me-first-okay?" he panted. She nodded, worried, her hands were resting against his chest, her large molten pools of chocolate eyes were staring straight into his soul, and almost as if she let him in he could look straight into hers. She seemed to unfreeze.

"Jake", her voice shook, "Jake, did- did you- was that- what was that? Is -I- you- Jake?"

"Bells, don't panic please", grabbing onto her hands in case she tried to flee, "Please don't panic, okay! It's okay-" Now Jake's voice was shaking with fear she was about to reject him without even hearing him out.

"You imprinted on me didn't you?" Jake looked down at their hands, and nodded slowly.

"I'm so sorry Bells, I really am, it's- I- I'm sorry. I can't control it," he hung his head in shame and remorse.

"I can't control it, but-" a giggle interrupted him and made his head snap up, in shock.

"Bella?"

Bella had the biggest smile Jake had ever seen on her face ever, he frowned completely mystified at her, he could feel a range of emotions coursing through him, and from their connection, and his wolf was purring inside, but the boy himself was bewildered. Bella was still giggling and Jake's shocked expression seemed to be adding to her amusement.

"Bells, I'm so confused. You never wanted me to imprint on you and now well, I expected you to be livid and even freaking out, or kicking my butt instead you're laughing. What the heck?"

"I never said I didn't want you to imprint on me Jake. I asked if you had-"

"And you were relieved! I felt it!"

"You felt it?"

"Eh well yeah, I felt your relief when I said no."

"Jake, I was relieved but also upset and jealous, no point lying now. I was upset, I knew you were my human soul mate, the one if magic and supernatural didn't exist, if the world was as it is supposed to be, I'd have found. But then when you told me about imprinting at first I freaked out, Edward had only just came back, and then I thought maybe that was why you felt the way you did-"

"Bells-"

"Shhh, let me say my bit first. I'd been so concerned about Edward killing himself because of me", Jake growled but Bella arched a perfect brow at him and carried on. Jake was secretly freaking out that now they had imprinted not once but twice – which he didn't even know was possible, and Bella knew she may still reject him.

"I had been so concerned about him, and then getting out of there alive" Jake growled and went to speak so Bella placed a finger over his lips and he placed a chaste kiss on it, as she smiled up at him, "it wasn't until I was home, and everything sunk in, and we got back to normal I realized my heart wasn't whole, like I thought it would be with Edward's return. The more I missed you, the more I realized I had fallen for you too, but when the spirits didn't make me your imprint I knew, you were destined for better things." She placed her whole hand over his mouth. "Look it is a long and dull story but tonight, I-"

"Yes? Please Bells, you're killing me. You have no idea how crazy my wolf was back then, please tell me what happened?"

"Why? If we only just imprinted?"

"Eh well the thing is, we imprinted before I just didn't know. Apparently when I first saw you as a wolf, in the meadow, but not properly and then again when you came around that day, that's how I got around Sam's order to stay away from you until I had better control. But I knew all you wanted was friendship. The wolf knows what you want before you do but Bella I already loved you, I didn't realize because it just enabled me to feel your emotions-"

"Your pain is my pain" she whispered.

"Huh?"

"I always could feel when you were in pain, when I hurt you, or when you were happy. I couldn't work out how your pain was mine, and your joy- but how can you be sure? That this isn't because of some magic wolfy voodoo Jake?"

"Because Sam has seen my thoughts and feelings before I phased and before I imprinted, he says my love was already as strong as his imprint to Emily. It's only intensified it, that's why no one could work out how you never felt it, but I've never heard of imprinting three times, well twice properly. Even if we are at the hollow brook - it's especially for imprinted couples. It's meant-" Bella gasped, "Is that why you brought me here? You wanted it to happen?"

"Bella I had already imprinted! I never expected to do it again. I brought you here so I could tell you!"

"Huh weird I feel you're telling the truth, even though I can always tell from your eyes anyway!" She giggled "does this mean you can never lie to me?"

"Eh if you remember I did lie to you already and you couldn't tell! But I know Sam and Jared can't lie to Emily or Kim unless it's for their benefit. I don't know Bella there is so much I don't know. I don't even know if you want the imprint?"

"What do you mean? I thought it was given? You imprint and that's it, both of us are tied together forever?" Jake shook slightly scaring her.

"NO!" He bit out. "You aren't tied to me. I'm not some default prize Bella-"

"Oh calm down Jake! I didn't mean it like that! Jeez! I just was asking out of curiosity, I mean if I can choose, how did Emily- oh." Bella's mouth formed a small 'o', her rose pink lips, going slightly white in the centre.

Jake nodded, "she refused him and the imprint, at first like you did", "yes except that Sam had told her everything so she could make an informed decision, unlike you and I" Bella added to Jake's chagrin, "Yes, well that was different! Anyway, she denied the imprint out of loyalty to Leah. She Ignored it and him, refused to see him, hated him for what he done to Leah and then imprinted on her, but Sam's wolf knew she was attracted to him, it knew she was open to a relationship, so it refused to accept the human rules of conduct I guess, and after the accident, well a friendship bloomed, but it's hard to explain, even my wolf has fought me, because it knows you're attracted to me, but it also sensed you needed a friend, until today. Something changed. What and why was it Bells?"

"The triplets; they made me think about having children one day. I realized I would never get that chance, I'd never see what our children would look like, and it hurt."

"Our children?" Bella nodded, "I never thought about having babies, but when I did, they were with you Jake, and it killed me, that you would have them with someone else. That I would never get to be a mom, or see what our children looked like, or took after, to see you as a dad," tears slid down her cheeks silently, "and it broke my heart Jake and the thought of you having that with someone else, made me sick", she blushed at her confession, as Jake crowed, "I knew you loved me too!"

"Hey I never said that but yeah I kinda do!"

"Bells, that doesn't have to be a dream, you don't even have to accept the imprint, but we could have that Bella- if you chose me, if you chose to live?"

"I saw them Jake! I saw our children, and I felt what it would feel like carrying a baby in my tummy. I want to do a pregnancy test and see the two lines appear, not feel jealous of Emi-oh"

"Em's pregnant? Damn it I was right. Embry and Quil owe me $20!"

"Huh?"

"We can hear what sounds like a little hummingbird, but Kim and Emily have been together literally every time we've seen them since we first heard it. The last few days Kim has been staying to help with the triplets and Claire, so we couldn't tell who it was, but I said Emily smells different, Sam's scent is stronger, but we thought he had marked her, and not told us, because he has been blocking his thoughts a lot recently. Now I know why. Although I can see why they want to keep it quiet".

"Wow, that was a lot of information Jake, do I need to know what marking is?"

"No Bells, that is something for imprinted couples, and is even rarer I think."

"But aren't we an imprinted couple Jake?"

"Well technically not until you accept-"

"I accept Jake, what-" as she spoke she looked up into Jake's warm brown eyes, as an electric jolt passed through them both.

"Wow!"

"You can say that again Bells."

"Is that normal?" Bella asked an equally shocked Jacob, who shook his head, "not that I know of, think we're going to have to talk to dad and the elders. But do you really mean it? You realize what it means by accepting the imprint don't you Bells?"

Bella nodded shyly, as Jake's venerate gaze penetrated straight through her to the core of her soul as he leaned forward and grazed her lips gently with his own testing her response.

They emerged through the trees into Sam and Emily's yard as the rest of the pack, Charlie, Billy and Sue were all sitting in a circle around the makeshift bonfire Sam, Jared and Paul had constructed for evenings like this evening. Jake knew the wolves would known they were coming a while ago and so wasn't surprised to the audience to their arrival as Bella was, as she blushed and instinctively stepped slightly behind Jake, to divert some of the attention, as he chuckled, and grasped her hand a little tighter, pushing calming waves through their bond, while surprised and still in awe at the imprint bond they shared, responded out loud, "I felt that!" Which made Jake laugh out loud and he pulled her to him and kissed her full on the lips, which made their audience gasp before howls and cheers erupted into the air.

It was Charlie who spoke first, "Bells- eh what does this mean? Are you- is Edgar, I mean Edwa-?"

"That cold- eh well let's save the rude names for when ladies aren't present hey Charlie" Quil supplied, "but really guys does this mean what it look likes? Bella accepted?"

Charlie's face suddenly paled, then went to fiery red within seconds, "What? What did Bella just accept?" he shouted.

"Nothing old man! Calm down!" Billy admonished his oldest friend,"and lower your voices we have children asleep inside!" Sue rebuked them all.

Bella went crimson with the attention and then froze at Quil's slip. Jake feeling her tension, pulled her further into his side and walked over to the group. "Bella had accepted my proposal" he began as everyone's eyes flickered to watch Charlie's face which was only just going back to his natural shade, suddenly went red, then a shade of purple to blue, as Jake finished with a wide sunny smile, "to date me exclusively". As Charlie exhaled loudly as everyone laughed before the pack and imprints rushed to surround the young couple and welcome Bella into the pack officially.

Sam shook Jake's hand, "That was some last shot man! But it worked! You were right, you know her better than someone who can get inside her head, I'm so happy for you both. Congrats". Jake looked at his alpha and smiled his trademark sunny wide grin, "I hear we aren't the only ones congrats are in order for, hey man" winking at him, as they slapped each other on the back. They looked over to their imprints to see Bella and Emily embraced and deep in conversation, smiling broadly and laughing together with Kim and both smiled as their wolves purred contentedly at the picture, as a little voice piped up "Aunty Bells! You're back! I woke up and you were gone! Can you come to bed now my Bells? I miss you", everyone turned to see a little tanned boy, in navy pyjamas with shaggy black hair, run up and throw himself into Bella's arms, as she smiled at him.

"Ah man I think you got some competition!" Embry said, as he appeared beside Jake and Sam.

Jake smiled, "Em, I owe that kid my life!"

-The End-

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	5. this is my story

**Title**: This is my story  
**Pairing**: Bella/Him (He/Him/His) &amp; Bella/Jacob  
**Rating**: M - contains graphic references to abuse and violence.  
**Genre**: Angst/sad and romance

**Disclaimer**: _All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

_**This is my story**_

Jake,

If you are reading this letter, it means one way or another He has finally killed me. I'm scared what He'll do now I've finally left Him, which is I need to write my side of the story down in the hope you or someone else finds it, because I need you to know how I feel. So you will understand why I never reached out to you again. Despite what you may have thought it wasn't from not wanting too, or even lack of trying. I never stopped. As I write this I'm trying to come back to you and Charlie.

First of all thank you Jake. You will never know what you did for me or how you rescued me. You showed me that not only am I capable of loving again, or that I deserve to be loved, but most of all for showing me what love is. I want to thank you for never giving up on me, for always being my rock, for giving me your strength and courage and for endlessly trying to make me see myself how you see me and attempting to stitch me back together bit by bit with every kind word, every hug, and for every smile. You will never understand how much you and your friendship mean to me or the power of both. Before you I begged for the relief of death, without ever truly knowing what what my life could have been like. You showed me a glimmer of what real love and happiness could be like, and just that small glimmer made me wish for more. The time without you made me beg for death once again because you were my ray of sunshine, you and Charlie are my world, the reason I endured my hell, and without you life wasn't worth living.

I know you think you know how awful my life was, but I could never tell you everything. All the truly evil things, those I'll take to my grave with me because no one should have to read or hear those things and I don't wish to relive them.

In this letter there are details I don't want you or Charlie to read; I'm only writing them down because I need people know the kind of man He was. The kind of man who managed to fool everyone, including professionals and even my own mother, and that should I die, this may help punish Him, for what He did.

I know what kind of man He is, and how He hates to be betrayed or made a fool of, so I have an extremely strong feeling I won't make it out of this relationship or this attempt at leaving Him alive. I need to tell you enough that you will understand why I am the way I am; why I flinch when you would try to tuck my hair behind my ear, or how loud noises/shouting always made me nervous. But more that that, I want people to know the truth. If by sharing my story another girl is stopped from making the same mistakes, I did but I just want Him to not get away with it.

I was naïve, young and in love- or so I thought. I was a fly caught in a spider's web, and foolish enough to think He would change or I could leave if I wanted to. I couldn't, no matter how I tried, and in the end, like the fly I grew too tired, too weak, and just gave up. Now I've giving it one last try. I know it's run or die. But it's also don't and die, so I've got nothing to lose, but someone to fight for this time.

I didn't want this life, I didn't stay because I chose to, I didn't stay because I wanted to. I stayed because I had no other option. Doctors and Nurses ask the questions and you know they'll look at you with disbelief but accept the lies anyway. They never think to ask without Him there, or dig a little deeper or see the invisible gun He was holding to my head, as He stands there, charming them with His lies, as they ask how it happened this time.

You see over time I become a pro, at lying, because I had to, of hiding the marks, and the bruises that litter every inch of my body, except my face.

No one else hears the tirade of taunts He hurls at me constantly until I feel worthless. How He tells me I am beyond damaged and should feel grateful, He at least will tolerate me, because no one else will. Who could possible want me? He wears me down, not just physically but mentally and emotionally too.

Until there is nothing left of me, the old me, the real me. Even I don't recognize myself anymore. I felt invincible until He needed something to hit, a mere extra, a prop in someone else's life, a useless wreck. I lay there after yet another beating, praying death will take me this time. Yet even death doesn't want me, and so my torture continues. The first time I woke up in a pool of blood, I remember Him cradling me and begging me to forgive him; that I had pushed Him too far. He was sorry but why had I made Him do it? That if only I didn't do whatever it was that enraged Him that time, again, we would be okay. He told me that He loved me and He was sorry, kissing me over and over again as He cried. He told me He would change, and pleaded for forgiveness; which I did. I loved him, I thought I had made Him do it, I had pushed His buttons and provoked Him but no sooner had I forgiven him, His tears dried and He was demanding dinner and those reassurances were nothing more than promises in the sand, that tide washed away straight away.

I'm sat here on the bus reminiscing about how I first met him, how He used to be, but those memories are tainted, destroyed, by him a long time ago. I remember naively thinking that the first slap would also be the last. I quickly realized His promises were as empty as my heart and my soul.

He was always telling me, how I will never find someone who loves me like He does, who will put up with me, like He does. So I stayed, because I knew no other life, than that one, He was all I knew. Until you appeared. I had never had the chance to see this wasn't how life was supposed to be, because I haven't seen anyone in so long. No the only people I saw who weren't doctors or nurses were His family, and He is a master of acting. Always playing the perfect doting husband, and they never seemed to realise it was all a facade, no one does. I didn't know anything else, I married my first boyfriend, my first love, I thought it was the fairytale romance come true. now I look at Him and can't remember where He went or when He left.

_Jake this isn't for you to read, but for the authorities so please skip this paragraph._

This is one example of many that I endure, the reason: I wore the wrong color blouse. I berated my stupidity for such a basic error, I knew he didn't like red, or was it orange, I can't remember as He wrapped His hand around my hair and pulled it tight, my head jerks back. I know this is so he can watch my expressions as his cigarette burns into the skin on my back. When He is done, He yanked me to my feet by my hair and smashed my face into the mirror screaming to look at the mess that He is forced to endure and how I disgust him, shouting at me to repeat it, until I'm screaming it so loudly my voice breaks, leaving a raspy husky tone. My throat was so raw, I'm sure I could taste blood. He threw me to the floor roughly and my elbow smashes into the leg of the bed, I hear an un-natural crack and searing hot pain shoots up my arm, like it is on fire. I managed to bite my lip so He doesn't become aware of my injury and use it against me. It wouldn't be the first time, or even the third. He yanked me by my other arm luckily, and throws me backwards onto the floor so hard, I land with a thud, and my head flies back and cracks against the floor. The next thing I know He is on me, ripping and tearing the remaining clothes from my body that is already raw, sore and bleeding, from the punches and blows that He had rained down on me, with His hands and fists, only moments ago. My back is raw and blistering but if He cares He doesn't show it as He takes the last remaining act of love we had left, and brutalizes my body from within me. Only when He is done, does He look at me but there are no kind endearments, words or gestures of love, instead He spits in my face, and climbs off me, like I am nothing at all. I want to thank God that it's over when He hears the minute sigh of relief and He spins around and grabs me by my hair once, again, this time using it like a leash, dragging my shattered body to the stairs. "Stand" He yells into my face, as my weaken limbs stumble, even my now slight frame is too much for my legs, He pulls me upright by my hair yanking so hard, even in this delirious state, I am amazed it hasn't come away from my scalp. As I finally manage to stand on shaky legs, He steps towards me knowing I will step back, but I am already balancing precariously, naked on the edge of the top step, He keeps coming towards me until His skin to touching mine, His disgusting breathe is ghosting across my neck as He runs His nose along my jawline. "This is your fault. You did this to me," is all He said. His hands resting on my shoulders, and pushed me hard. I feel the falling and tumbling, and the smack as I hit the bottom. Then it goes black. Please let this be death I plead. The thing that people don't realize, don't understand is unless you know what it is like, to live in fear of doing something wrong, of saying the wrong thing, of breathing wrong, then you will never truly know fear like this. To wonder what happened to the man you fell in love or where He went, what you did so awful that Mr. Right turned into Mr. Hyde overnight. To fear the lips that used to whisper how much He loved you, but now spit venom laced hatred. To fear the hand that is now wrapped around your own, knowing at any minute it could grab you with viper like precision and coil around your neck, suffocating you with their own brand of love, teaching you the right way to be a good wife.

My life was over, I was literally begging for death to take me, planning ways to end my own life when you appeared, like a ray of sunshine in a sea of darkness, offer me a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on, and all the support you could offer. I saw the look you gave me when u didn't think I could see, I saw the pity and the sadness in your eyes that first time you saw me like that, lying in the hospital bed, beaten and battered. I saw the look of disbelief then rage as I stuck to my story that I had tripped and fell down the stairs, but still you hid it well. You were patient, and gentle not wanting to push me or upset me, I still remember the way you masked your emotions, like the professional you were as He walked in. I knew you wanted to scare him, sat there in your police-officer's uniform, because you had come as soon as you got word. You introduced yourself like you were working instead of being an off duty old family friend. I was sure I saw a flicker of rage as He tried to charm you with His way, laughing over my clumsiness. He could charm anyone, but not you.

You visited every day making me smile and laugh for the first time in years over old stories of our dads, but the visits always short because He didn't like me having visitors, always present even when my dad would visit, so how you managed those brief visits I shall never know. That day I met, was fate. I only managed to get to Charlie's that day, because His boss had made him attend a baseball game, as a work function, giving me an opportunity to see Dad, I went knowing it may be my last chance to tell him goodbye, instead I met you and Billy again. I couldn't believe how much you had changed, or that you now were now a Police Officer with Charlie. I couldn't imagine the little boy I used to make mud pies with, was all grown up, and boy had you grown up. But underneath all of that muscle was the same kind hearted little boy I remembered with the impish grin.

You asked why I was wearing a polo neck sweater in summer, and watched as I shrugged it off, you watched me the same way Charlie did. Maybe it was the cop in you.

Those baseball games, I managed to see you all, became my lifeline. I would spend all week like I couldn't breathe and then when I was with you and Charlie and Billy it was like I finally had air. It made enduring the hell I lived in, manageable. Still you, Dad and even Billy would watch me, silently. Often probing me asking how work was, horrified that I had given up writing for the paper to spend more time at home, when in truth He had made me resign. It was just as well because I couldn't hide the marks, the bruises and sometimes even the scars every day. However that He didn't concern Him instead He would regale everyone with how clumsy I was, but it worked, because I was so scared of people seeing my scars, my bruises I would shy away or flinch or act so nervous around anyone I would often tremble or drop things, soon everyone call clumsy Bella. But no He didn't want me around other men; always accusing me of flirting with them or cheating on him, while telling me how fat I was, how ugly I was, how disgusting I was, but I would learn, the beatings which had been regular now became a daily occurrence.

Sometimes on those visits I would be so happy with you I would forget myself and roll up my sleeves to make the pie crusts or as I reached up to get something from the cupboards as you sat on the side sharing stories of your friends and colleagues, and you would see and ask me, never believing my stories. You were always so sweet and kind, but always so tactile, even when I would flinch every time, and I'd see the hurt in your eyes, but I couldn't tell you that I hadn't felt a kind touch or a kind word in such a long time I had forgotten they were possible.

That day in the hospital, you must have realised it was my payment for you visiting me at His house. It was never mine. It was never home to me, just a prison. You had been worried you had heard about the disturbance call out the night before, you came to see if I was okay. But younger sister had seen you and told Him.

Watching you leave that day in the hospital, felt like you had taken the little bit of my heart and soul and life you had given me by just being you, left with you. It was then I knew I had to get out. I knew deep down as much as you didn't want to leave me you wouldn't risk me lying in another hospital bed. Or worse.

I did. I managed to escape, and ran to my Mother's, thinking He wouldn't find me. I told only Dad. Next thing I knew you were there, those few days you stayed, you made me feel alive at last. I could never understand why you want to be friends with someone as worthless and damaged as I am. Yet how I wished you could want someone like me, but He was right, no one would ever want me, let alone someone as special and amazing as you.

Slowly I began to open up to you, to tell you things, the truth. Until that fateful day He appeared one day charming His way in, and my Mother; always so easily charmed by a good looking man. Telling me we couldn't break our vows, and my mother, the same one who walked out on my father, shortly after I was born, agreed right along with him, helping Him pack my few belongings, and waving me off at the airport right into the arms of the devil disguised as an angel. He smashed my phone, told me I couldn't be trusted with one. I couldn't tell anyone I was back in hell, or that He had moved us somewhere no one knew to look for me. I knew I had to get word to you, so you knew this isn't what I wanted. But I had no way. So I took each day as it was, missing you every single day.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. Every day got worse. I was in and out of hospital so much the nurses stopped looking at me with pity, until one day I met a new one, she was lovely and sweet, she reminded me of you. This time I had a broken jaw so I couldn't talk. But she would sit and talk to me, tell me stories of her boyfriend and His friends. I was amazed when she told me He too was a Police Officer just like you and Charlie. I tried so hard to tell her, but I still couldn't speak. Then He would arrive, always trying to charm her but she never succumbed to him. She told me He had even asked for her to be removed from my care rota. She'd tell me what she thought of him, maybe because I couldn't defend him, or maybe she thought it was what I needed to hear. Yet still she would come to see me. One day she brought me a pad and pencil to see if I could write. I was so relieved that day I remember scribbling in my awful handwriting even though it hurt so much.

JACOB. CHARLIE.

She looked shocked as she read it.

"You're 'Bells' aren't you?" I heard her tone I knew she must have believed I had gone home willingly to him.

HELP ME PLE-

He appeared suddenly. In a fluster I knocked the bedside table and split the jug of water, all over the bed and notepad. Rachel grabbed both as she pulled the wet bedding off me, exposing my bruised legs to us all. She rushed to hide the evidence telling Him He would need to leave while she changed me. He had roared at her to get out and get someone else but she stood her grounds, with a determined strength I had never seen before, and in that moment I wanted to be just like her. Her gasp as she disrobed me and saw the true extent of my injuries made me cry as she looked at me with more sadness I had ever known.

He moved me to another hospital and we moved yet again. This time away from Forks. Everyday seemed to get worse, get darker and blacker. I was losing the will to live without you or Dad. I didn't see the point of trying anymore. The beatings got worse, He was taking everything He wanted from me, whenever He wanted and I was only allowed out with Him or one of His siblings, and even those were a rarity.

It was on one of these, that His older sister pointed out I was looking rather pale, and I burst into tears. She tried to hold me but I recoiled from habit. Her face betrayed her hurt and made me think of you again. I hadn't been able to keep food down for a few weeks and every night He would beat me and then he'd- take His husband rights with my body. I couldn't take it anymore and was looking for a way to end my misery. She tried to console me, but she saw the bruises lacing my wrist like handcuffs. I was sick and it was then she suggested I take a test, but the fear in my eyes, that a baby would be in the midst of this life, was too much. She promised to help me. How sorry she was, that she didn't know. She told me before she met Emmett, she had been with a brute of a boyfriend. She seemed truly appalled she hadn't seen it but how could she no one saw it. Sometimes I felt like I was slowing disappearing. I was no longer me I wasn't even a shadow of the person you knew all those months ago.

However the moment that small blue line appeared, it changed everything. I knew I had to get out. I had to escape. It wasn't just about me anymore. I had to be strong for the baby I was carrying. So with only a credit card from Rose, and nothing else to my name I boarded a bus to the only place I knew. The only place I had ever felt safe or called home. I am coming back to Forks. It is on this bus I write this letter to you. Because the moment He finds out I am gone, I know He will come looking for me, and if He finds me before I can find you or Charlie I have no doubt in my mind, that He will kill me this time. He won't accept my betrayal again. I've been told too many times that if He can't have me no one will have me. I know He means it. This time.

I have no idea how I have survived this far, but part of me keeps me fighting so I can come back to you, and even if you don't want me as anything more than a friend, because I am damaged and more messed up than anyone could possible know let alone understand, then I'll happily take whatever crumbs I can have. But I can't have my baby growing up watching their – I can't even call Him that word. They can't grow up like that. I won't allow Him to destroy another human being like He has me.

This wasn't how it was meant to be. I never thought this is how my life would be. I wanted to just fall in love, be happy, have babies, grow old, see my babies have babies.

If you get this letter Jacob and I am no longer here, know that I love you more than you will ever know. I always did, and always will. I was just foolishly charmed by a demon in nice clothes, and a way with words.

I love you and I hope there is an afterlife, did there is I shall continue to love you there. But Jake, if you or Charlie find this letter- take it to the right people, don't take the law into your own hands, that isn't who you or He is. Make Him pay the right way. Please.

My last wish is for you to live your life to the fullest, and remember I loved you all with everything I had. You rescued me and gave me hope and love -for that I am truly grateful.

Tell Charlie I Love him. Billy too.

Love you always,

Your Bells x

~oOo~

Embry Call looked up as he finished reading, and looked around at all the somber faces; some tear stained, some crying, and even the men looked affected by heart-felt letter, written by his best friend's secret soul-mate.

As Bella had predicted, her husband wouldn't let her leave Him alive. Embry had seen the aftermath of Bella's last fatal meeting with Him, in the crime scene photographical evidence but also through the pack mind. The pack saw harrowing scene exactly as Charlie, Jake, Paul and Mark had seen it. He had seen it play out from both his pack mate's viewpoint as the call came through to Paul and Deputy Mark, about a disturbance at the Swan house. He had seen the fear in Mark's eyes and felt Paul's. He heard Laura's panic through the radio, as she explained that Charlie had been in the office when the call came through, and shot out of the station like a bat out of hell, before the news of a gunshot being heard. Embry had felt the ice run down Paul's spine, as the phone connected with Jacob's voicemail. He hadn't needed to hear. He already knew, He had felt it.

As Mark sped to the Swan's house Paul could hear a faint siren ahead. Somehow they pulled up just behind Charlie, and Jake raced through the trees just sweatpants on. Mark tried to hold Charlie back, but there was no way he could hold Jake back.

Embry remembered that awful sight and stench of blood, as images and feelings flooded the pack mind. Jake's anguish as he and Charlie fell to their knees and crying had crippled every wolf, bringing them all their knees as their saw their Alpha's imprints' bloody, battered body lying in a pool of blood, a gun beside her.

Paul had gone to check if she was alive, feeling for her pulse, he shivered as he touched her cold wrist. Nothing. He took a deep breath, afraid to turn around a deliver the blow that would kill his boss and brother.

"NO! NO! She isn't I'd feel it!" Jake roared as he pushed Paul out of the way and bent over her, looking and listening for any sign of life. Paul looked over at the bastard opposite Bella. With a single hole in his head Paul knew he was dead.

Embry shook his head, and cleared his throat.

"Your Honor, and members of the Jury, you have heard accounts from the Police Officers first on the scene, the crime scene investigator, Doctors and even the trauma nurse, who found this letter in Ms. Cullen's clothing when she was rushed into ER, that fatal day, as well as Ms. Cullen own account of what happened. However this letter- should clear any doubt in your mind, that not only did Ms. Cullen experience a living Hell prior to that fatal day but she predicted her own murder. This letter proves she acted in self-defence from a vicious violent man who was determined to never let her escape his vindictive clutches. So I put to you the life she experienced at his hands, as well as the loss of her unborn child, the scars, and memories are punishment enough. She didn't set out to kill her husband. She walked into her father's house, looking for sanctuary and instead found Him waiting with a gun to end her life. The fact she is stood in the docks, today shows she is a survivor and a fighter. So I ask you to find her not guilty. Your Honor, I rest my case.

**Epilogue**

Jake pulled the cruiser up outside the little wooden cabin, which had been Billy's but with some adjustments was also now their house. As he and Paul both climbed out, they chuckled at the sight of their welcoming committee, sitting on the porch.

"Dadda!" "Unca Dawl"

"Daddy!" "Ankle J!"

"Dadda!" "Unca paw"

Jacob smiled broadly at his two small infants, struggling in their grandpa ChiCHi and GG Cha's arms as his pregnant wife and sister struggled to their feet, to welcome them home. Little Jay, ran to his dad, and giggled ecstatically as he was thrown into the air. Jake picked up the love of his life, and swung her around making her giggle delightedly, alongside his elated nephew. Jacob looked at her, and his breathe caught with her beauty as his heart simultaneously gave a pained thud, in acknowledgement to how close he had nearly came, to losing the beautiful angel in his arms. Jacob yet again said a silent thank you to the spirits for not only bringing him such an amazing imprint, but also for answering his prayers to save her, but to help her mend. He wished he could have rescued her before so she didn't have to go through the traumatic past she had but he knew instead he and the birth of their twins, along with their fathers, the pack and imprints had helped Bella to finally lay her past to rest.

"I love you with everything that I am, and everything I have" Jacob whispered into her ear as he set her down onto her feet gently.

"Ditto".


	6. say something

**Say Something**...

A chilled shiver coursed down Bella's spine, making her jolt awake suddenly. Disorientated and confused she tried to work out what had woken her before she realised it was morning, this realisation it was morning made her moan out loud before what that truly meant hit her like a wrecking ball in her gut. Bella had barely slept at all, and felt absolutely exhausted. Far too much had been going through her mind to let her sleep, and when her body finally allowed her to surrender to the fatigue; she had then been plagued by terrifying nightmares.

Yet now it was morning, Saturday morning. Except today wasn't just any normal old Saturday. Nope, today was August the 13th. Her wedding day. The day she would give herself completely to Edward once she finally said those two words she would be Mrs. Bella Cullen, for all of eternity.

Bella groaned loudly as she swung her legs over the edge of her bed and pulled herself upright into a sitting position. Alice would be here soon to kidnap and torture her with makeup and all those other girly things Bella would need doing, as part of operation 'make Bella beautiful'. Just the mere idea of how many hours she was going to be at Alice's mercy made Bella want to scream out loud instead she rolled her eyes with irritation, as her fists curled into tight balls and her body shuddered with revulsion. She absolutely hated the whole idea of today, of everything she was going to have to go through today, just to make Edward happy and to fulfil her part of their deal. She wanted to be with Edward in every way possible except she knew she didn't truly want the marriage part... Well not yet anyway.

Nor did she want to be pimped all day like some wreck of a race car just so she could look acceptable enough to marry a Cullen and she definitely didn't want to stand up in front of all those people, and be the centre of everyone's attention. Shuddering at what lie ahead, Bella could feel angry tears begin to pool behind her eyes. Why were Edward and Alice, two of the people who loved her more than anyone else, forcing her to do all this? Why couldn't they had a small, intimate wedding or eloped somewhere?

When Bella had seen the list of attending guests, she had had a full blown panic attack, something she hadn't suffered from, in years. It seemed the Cullens had invited the whole of Washington State as well as several other small towns to witness her and Edward's vows; which would bind them together forever and all of eternity. The same vows she wasn't even sure she believed in... At least not at this moment in time. 'Oh hell! Who I am trying to kid? Myself?' Bella didn't know what she believed in anymore, except for the knowledge she wasn't ready for marriage. That she knew.

She had thought that giving up her humanity, family and friends would be enough to prove her love and commitment to Edward and the Cullens, but no he still wanted her to do the one thing she vowed she wouldn't do until she had truly lived a proper life first. Iowever here she was a month before her nineteenth birthday doing just that; she was getting married as part of Edward's careful orchestrated compromise, all so she could be turned before she actually reached her birthday and forever remain eighteen.

Her mobile pinged, notifying her of an incoming text message pulling her out of her thoughts. Bella knew who it was before she even bothered to look, she also knew who she really wanted it to be and who it definitely wouldn't be. Sure enough it was Alice, informing Bella to get her arse moving! Alice stated she knew Bella had yet to get out of bed, let alone begin getting ready, and she threatened her that if she didn't start soon she would be coming over earlier to do it herself. Bella really wasn't ready to deal with the tiny demon vampire who was her wedding planner/bridesmaid and soon-to-be sister-in-law. Bella glanced at the clock beside her bed; 6.37Am. Alice must be having a freaking laugh?! Damn vampires not needing any sleep. Huffing irritably, she stomped to the bathroom to get a shower and attempted to try and relax a little before the madness began.

Twenty minutes and an extremely hot shower lately, Bella felt slightly better. The hot water had soothed out some of the kinks in her tensed muscles, well as much as they could be. Bella swiftly wrapped a towel around her body as a chill in the air made her shiver, she quickly towel dried her hair, not bothering to do anything with it as she knew Alice would only complain and make her re-wash it anyway. Bella could feel her irritability levels rising again. Bella took a deep luxurious lungful of air, trying to pull it down into every fibre of her being and calm her nerves, before exhaling slowly, before re-wrapping the towel tighter around herself,

Bella unlocked the bathroom door tentatively, listening out for any sounds to indicate Charlie was also up but his deep snores were still rippling through the house like a stream train. Bella smiled fondly at the sound, after today she would never sleep in this house ever again and she would never hear her father's relaxed but thunderous snores either. She had always thought she would be glad to be rid of this house and that racket, however now the time had come, she suddenly felt a pang of homesickness swell in her stomach.

For the first time she realised she was going to miss this house, her home; it was the first place Bella had ever thought of as home, and she knew that was all down to do with the people, the majority of whom Bella was going to be bidding farewell to after today, including her much loved father, not that she had ever been brave enough to tell him such a thing, hell she was even going to miss his very loud and annoying snoring.

Bella slipped into her room, however she stopped abruptly just inside the door as she realised something was different, not wrong but definitely different.

For a start her bed had been made which Bella hadn't done, she had been far too irritated with Alice. Alice! Of course! Bella scowled as she swung her eyes swiftly around her childhood bedroom, searching for Alice or her hiding place, but it was empty. Bella stomped over to her bed hunting for her phone, which she had left on the bed, so she could ring Alice and give that pixie an earful. However Bella noticed her phone was on the nightstand being used as a paperweight for a simple cream rectangle, which had been placed underneath it.

Edward?!

He must have stopped by to drop off a last minute letter for her, to help soothe any last minute nerves she may have. It was the sort of thoughtful thing he would do and Alice must have helped him by ensuring Bella was out of her bedroom, so they wouldn't see each other; Ever the traditional, and old fashioned Edward would want to keep to all wedding suspicions. Bella rolled her eyes and hooked an eyebrow at the irony of her boyfriend, well fiancé well… husband to be, of course it was bad luck to see the bride but perfectly ok to break in while she was in the shower.

Bella slid the envelope out from under her phone but was shocked to see the handwriting on the envelope wasn't Edward's fine, calligraphy script. Instead it was a much bolder, messier scrawl, but it was just as recognisable as Edward's. Bella's heart thumped loudly once then stopped momentarily before it took off beating faster than a hummingbird, as if it was trying to burst from her chest and sprint off into the wilderness. Her mouth popped open and a small gasp escaped her lips, as her knees swayed and slumped onto the bed, still clasping the envelope.

Jacob.

But he was still missing how could... Could he be home? Just the thought of Jacob made a sense of relief flood her she had been underwater for far too long and now she could breathe finally.

Bella didn't wait or even think before she had ripped the envelope open, not bothering to be careful or worrying about getting a paper cut. For once.

As Bella opened the folded piece of paper, something slipped out and fluttered to the floor besides her feet. Peering over her knees she saw that the something was actually two photographs. One had fallen face down, showing someone had scribbled something on the back while the other, showed a mass of smiling faces, a group of people Bella knew very well; her heart gave another squeeze, this time so tight Bella thought it was going to combust under the pressure. A lump lodged in her throat, as a tear slowly worked its way across her lashes, pooling at the side, binding it's time before it too, attempted to escape her. Bella didn't bend down to pick either photograph off the wooden flooring instead she slid off the bed and sat beside them.

Taking a deep breath, she tore her gaze away from the photograph that had paralysed her; body, heart and mind the moment she had laid eyes on it. She didn't reach for either photo nor did she attempt to read what was written on the back of the one facing downwards.

She had to physically make her eyes look at the letter in her hand, as the tear slowly dropped of her lashes and raced down her cheek, as a second quickly followed. Breathing rapidly and harshly, in short gasps, she unfolded it. The first thing she noticed was someone had scribbled across the top, in wonky capitals: READ IT ALL TO THE END NO MATTER WHAT PLEASE BELLS, nodding mutely she began to read:

"My dearest Bells," as she read she could actually hear Jake's voice as if he was stood behind her reading it aloud to her, "or maybe it should just say Dear Bella now? After all you're not my Bells anymore are you? Were you ever?" Bella sucked in a harsh gust of air in as if she had been punched in the stomach. She would never want to not be Jake's Bells, even hearing him call her Bella in a letter felt like her insides had been ripped from her chest, no not her insides, her heart. Her heart had been ripped out of her.

"First of all I need to say I'm sorry I left without telling anyone, but I'm not sorry I went I needed it, I had to get away. After receiving that invitation and THAT letter from him, I couldn't stick around and pretend anymore. I know I worried a few people, and you apparently. I still don't get why you were even bothered let alone 'worried' or 'concerned' to be honest. I did you a favour. Without me around you could play happy families and planning your wedding without feeling guilty or me getting in the way.

But if I'm honest I am pissed off. You made your choice, that day. You made it perfectly clear that you don't love me, that I wasn't good enough for you. So I hate to tell you this but you gave up any and all rights to be my 'friend' or to ask about me, or concern yourself with what I am up to and YOU have absolutely NO right to pester the pack, Seth especially about me."

Bella hissed violently and screwed the letter up ready to throw it in the trash, she was that angry when she heard Jake's voice pleading her "You promised to read it all, no matter what", she smoothed the paper out, on her bare legs, she knew she owed it to Jake to at least hear him out regardless of what he said or how she felt about it. Taking a deep breath again, she continued.

"When have I ever been good enough?"

Bella huffed in annoyance, stupid boy. He was so dumb sometimes. Did he know nothing at all?!

"I was insane to ever think someone like you... Beautiful, smart- well most of the time... There have been quite a few times I've questioned not only your sanity but also your intelligence not to mention your bizarre fascination to be turned into a cold dead slab of marble, but each to their own. I'm not going to fight you on that anymore Bella. After all you could also argue why would you ever want to love or be with a giant horse sized dog, however in my defence I don't moult, I'm house trained, I make an excellent pillow and comforter, I am also the best guard dog you could ever want and I don't bark, although I am known to howl on occasions."

Bella snorted a laugh, trust Jacob even like this, in a letter, when he was battling between being honest and trying not to say the wrong thing, he could still make her smile or laugh with his dorky sense of humour that mirrored her own.

"Oh and I love unconditionally just like every other pooch you may want one day, and like they say I make a mighty fine best friend too. I am also great with any future kids you may…. Oh my bad... Oops. Are you still reading this? I hope so. Sorry Bells I don't mean to snipe but this is by far the hardest thing I have had to write. Let me start again please.

I am truly sorry; I know I can be a jackass and I come across as mean and harsh and out of order at times, but you have no idea how much all of this hurts me, even writing this letter is killing me. How having to say goodbye to the one person I love more than anything or anyone or ever will again in my whole life is killing me.

Bells you have no idea what you mean to me, and if you were just going off to college with him, I could accept it, but I don't see why you of all people are rushing to get married so young, let alone rushing to swap your beautiful breathing, living, beating heart… for a life… like that. For God's sake you are eighteen! Just eighteen, you have your whole life ahead of you.

You always swore you'd only get married when you was older and had lived a life to tell your grandkids about. But instead you are giving up everything for him. You are changing everything for him. What is he giving up for you? What is he changing for you? What is he losing FOR YOU? Don't be cross with me Bells. I know you're probably already defending him in your head but this is my last chance I get to say everything I need to, so at least I know I have tried I need to finally let you go, but I need to do it knowing I truly have tried everything.

You know what frustrates me more than anything, I accepted you, I loved you, YOU, quirks and all; the whole package, not just the good, but the bad and the ugly too haha!" Bella sniffed a wet, snotty laugh, as she wiped her nose and tears away with the edge of last night pjs, that was the closest thing to hand, at Jacob's quote to one of his Dad's favorite films.

"I joke, but I mean it. I fell in love with you, YOU! Everything about you, I don't just want you for the good parts Bells. I don't want you to be something you're not, and I am not on about turning you into one of them. Obviously that comes into it, however I wouldn't try and make you into a design to fit girlfriend/wife. I know who you are, what you like, and don't like. I know the real you. You will always be perfect to me, for me, and never would I want to change you.

I loved you from the first time ever I saw your face., when we was kids, and then again on te beach that day. Even when you were 'broken', not quite yourself, I could see the beauty that you are, inside and out. I don't want you to change Bells; I love you as you are, just the way you are. Clumsy, hot headed and stubborn. Beating heart, blushing cheeks, the sparkle you get in your eyes, that dorky sense of humour we share, your rebellious nature, your soft skin, the way you look when you're deep in thought, or the look you give when you're not sure about something, the way you nibble on your bottom lip or pull at your sleeves when you're nervous. How good you are with little Claire and the other imprints, the way you can look after yourself with the other wolves especially Paul.

The way I always feel whole when I'm with you and how you make me feel like I can conquer the world by just being near you, the way I know I have the best friend I could ever want in you. The way you know me better than I know myself, or anyone else who can't look into my head.

But despite all the ways that I love you, that I am in love with you, that having you in my life makes it a better place, I am devastated that we are will never get to do all the normal things we should have done, not even all the best friends things. I won't get to see you grow old or have children and you won't get to see me do the same. You won't be able to see our dads as grandfathers, or growing old or the pack grow with pups. I always thought if I had kids one day they would be ours, the perfect mix of you and me but now that won't happen, but it's not just that it won't happen with me or that you won't even get to be an aunty to my children but that you are depriving yourself of the gift of being a mother, of the world of mini bells… mini Bells get it? haha.

I wish I could have said all of this to you in person. So I could ask you to say something to make me think I had a chance but I already know your reply. He is everything to you, and you can't live without him, I know that now.

That's why it pains me to know that I didn't even get to come in second place, I didn't even get to lose, because for that I would have had to have been in the running and I never was. That's why I have to give you up. Give up on you.

I could have been the one for you. I would have been, if magic and vampires with dazzling powers didn't exist. I would have been anything you wanted me to be, done anything, gone anywhere for you. I would have followed you anywhere just to have been with you, even if you only wanted me as a friend.

Instead I am feeling so small, because I should have known someone as beautiful, amazing and remarkable as you would never pick someone like me. It was over my head and I know now, that everything I thought was special about you and me meant nothing and I meant nothing at all.

So apparently I don't know even know what love is... If what I feel for you isn't it. Except I do. I know deep down it is, true love. I thought we were soul mates. I know you don't. But just so you know I will never love another the way I love you. I longed for a future with you; to have a life, a future and children with you. To watch our children as they grow inside of you and then as they stumble and fall or just starting to crawl.

I'm sorry I failed you I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. Get you to see how it should have been. I thought that I ran out of time. But in reality I just wasn't enough and I'm sorry I let you down.

So for one last time I'm going to swallow my pride and tell you, you're the one that I love but I have to do this, that saying goodbye will always be the hardest thing I have done. I know I promised till your heart stopped beating, but I can't. I can't be around when that happens, it won't just break what is left of my heart but it will destroy every part of me. I'm sorry I can't wait around for that moment. So by the time you get this, no doubt you will be married and probably back from your honeymoon, maybe even a vampire, but even if you get it before I will already be long gone. So please don't ask anyone about me. Not my dad, not Seth not Charlie, noone. Not that I think you will. But just in case- don't. Let me go. Let me get over you. Give me that. If you ever cared about me at all give me that. But please promise me, you will stay safe and be happy. That's the last thing I will ask of you, please just be happy.

With all my love for my whole lifetime and longer.

Goodbye Bells,

Always your Jake x".

Tears were streaming down Bella's cheeks as she flipped the paper over, hoping to see if Jake had wrote anything else on the other side but there was nothing. She picked up the photos. First wasthe group shot, she remembered this picture like it was only yesterday. It was taken on the beach not even a month ago right before the newborn fight. Her eyes scanned the group Sue Clearwater, Seth and Leah's mum had taken. In the centre of the group were her and Jake, sat on the sand, with Billy in his chair and Charlie, sat behind them on a log, both of the older men, had a hand on their shoulders; Billy's on Bella's, Charlie's on Jake's. That alone made Bella cry harder. Her little Forks' family, that is how she had thought of them when Edward had left, all those months ago. The thought made a lump stick in her throat, but it didn't hurt anymore.

Around the four of them were the whole pack including the imprints; Quil, Embry and Seth were perched beside Charlie on the log. Beside Billy, on another log, behind Bella was Emily and Kim, Sam and Jared stood behind their imprints, their hands resting on their loved ones' shoulders. Paul stood behind Billy and Leah behind Charlie. In front of them sat a smouldering bonfire, its flames flickering in the wind, and lighting up all their faces, as everyone laughed at something Quil and Embry had said as they smiled, at the camera, and Sue had captured the moment perfectly in the photograph.

However it was Jake's face that mesmerized Bella. His beautiful handsome face, with his full beaming smile pointed towards the camera. His eyes, bright and twinkling with happiness, his face lit up with the glow of the fire. Yet it was the look of pure unadulterated happiness and peace that she now saw that stunned her. Jake had tilted his head and lowered it so his head rested on hers ensuring both their foreheads were touching, his hand clasping hers, as he often did when they were together.

Bella turned the photograph over and read the back. "June – Everyone! The whole pack with Charlie and Billy. (Sue taking the pic)". There was no mention of Bella, unless she was counted as pack… but no, no she wouldn't have been. She leaned down and picked up the photograph that someone, she now knew had been Jake, had written on. It simply and heartbreakingly said "So you don't forget me. Please don't". Sobbing uncontrollably Bella turned it over to look at the photograph.

It was a breathtaking photograph of a very beautiful, very happy couple; it was a close up of just their faces, taken as they were lost in everything and everyone around them but each other. As realisation dawned on her, of who the couple were, Bella struggled to breathe as she took in every detail of the couple in her hand. The man was without a shadow of a doubt, breath-takingly beautiful, he looked like a model, for sure, but Bella already knew that. Jake had always been beautiful even before he phased, but the change had only accentuated his features, like those of all the wolves, but there was something about Jacob. The fire lit his copper skin and illuminated his deep coffee eyes, which were focused intensely on the girl sat beside him. She too was beautiful, with long wavy mahogany hair which cascaded down her back, her chocolate eyes were sparkling and her face was radiating happiness as they laughed at something the beautiful man had said.

Bella had never seen this photograph before and she had no idea it had even been taken or by who, but she recognised that it had been taken the same night the group photograph had been taken. Bella was stunned as she took in the beautiful girl in the photograph, and began to see similarities, until she couldn't deny it any further. What startled Bella the most was the girl in the photograph was unrecognisable as herself to Bella. She was beautiful, her face was radiate from laughing and smiling, her eyes were shining brightly, and her face looked alive, but it was the look on her face that made Bella begin to sob uncontrollably. She was looking at the man in the photograph with love and trust and happiness. That's what she couldn't put her finger on before. This Bella looked truly happy.

A throat cleared lodly in front of Bella, making her jump with fight. Charlie looked just as surprised and then slightly uncomfortable, and nervous.

"Erm Bells, you okay Kiddo? I knocked but you didn't respond, and I could hear you crying, and then it got louder, and erm well, I got worried. Sorry." He brushed the hairs in his moustache down with his finger and thumb, before running his hand through his hair, and then began rubbing the back of his neck, which he often did when he was nervous. Bella glanced at him briefly, through watery eyes, her eyes fluttering back to the photograph, offering no comment to Charlie, who had been shifting painfully from one foot to the other.

"Bells, what's happened?" Worry thick in his voice. He was petrified history was repeating itself. Please not today, if that son of a gun leaves her on her wedding day I swear I will hunt him down and shoot that moth… I'll kill him if he hurts my baby girl ever again, but please lord not today. Not today.

Bella continued to cry, and offered nothing in response, so Charlie anxiously stepped closer to see what she was holding in her hand. Reaching out he took the photograph from beside her, chuckling he smiled broadly at Bella, "I remember this night! I wondered why Emily Young and Sue were so keen to have a photograph of everyone there. I still have no idea why they needed these two old fools in the middle in it though", pointing at himself and Billy. Bella managed a small smile; she now knew why they were so keen to have both her father and the man she thought of as a second father in the picture. It was so she would be able to keep it with her always. No one could argue with her for wanting to keep a memento that her father was in, could they? It was their way to allow her to keep something of them, of her life with them, to come into her new future, the one she wouldn't be able to have any of them, not even her father in. The thought just made her cry even more, which in turn only made Charlie more uncomfortable.

"What's that one?" he asked, trying to distract her, but all Bella did was drop her head, and sob harder.

Charlie yanked the comforter off Bella's bed, and wrapped it around her, since she was still only swathed in a towel, and was beginning to look slightly grey, with cold. She always did look sallow these days he thought. Not enough sun, he was sure. She hadn't looked herself ever since she had returned to Forks, and taken up with that boy. Charlie took the photograph from Bella's tight grasp and feeling the loss pulled the comforter around herself tightly.

He smiled fondly at the photo before running his thumb, discretely over Bella's face. His daughter, his baby girl, looking so alive, so happy, and today he was going to give her away to not just someone else, but someone he didn't think deserved her or who he trusted with his most prized assent.

Charlie looked down at his daughter who was still sobbing in a mass of blanket and wet hair, and felt a pang of guilt. Sliding down beside her he pulled her into him, so her head fell under his chin, and tiny body fitted under his arm, as he rubbed her arm, stiltedly.

"Hush Bells, I am sure it's bad luck to cry on your wedding day" which unfortunately made her cry even more. Charlie crunched his face up, emotions really weren't his forte.

"Bells come on talk to ya old man, you never know I may even have some wisdom to part on you, before you fly the nest" he tried to say it in an upbeat tone but he too was struggling with the weight of what today meant for the two of them, and his voice gave him away. He raised the photograph to glance at it again, feeling brave he looked at his crying daughter in his arm and back at the happy girl in the photograph.

"You know Bells you look so beautiful in this photograph, I'll have to get a copy from Emily and have it blown up and framed. You look so happy. You both do." Bella sniffed, as she raised her head slightly so she also could see the photograph.

"It doesn't look like me dad, Emily must have doctored it or something", she mumbled from the cocoon of her father's warm embrace.

"Oh hush! You just never see yourself how the rest of us see you Bells, how you really are. You are beautiful, the most beautiful young lady I have ever seen, and no I am not just saying that because I'm your old man, well only a little bit, but it is true." He shrugged trying to appear nonchalant.

"You were in such high spirits that evening, you looked so happy and radiant, I thought I had lost that side of you, I hadn't seen you so light hearted so cheery for so long Bella." Bella went to argue with him but he placed the hard, worn pad of a finger against her lips to silence her. "It's true Bells. I haven't seen you like that for years not since you were much younger. I was glad I got to see you like that again, see you act your age for a change, and relax and be yourself. Emily did a good job of capturing it. That girl should take it up as a profession. Bells, the reason you don't recognise yourself here" he said waving the photograph in the front of them both, "is because you stopped being this person. You got old before your time looking after your mother and then when you came back here you started pretending to be someone that isn't the real you. I don't know why you think you aren't good enough or you need to be something that's not you, but you can't go into a marriage pretending to be someone else kiddo. It won't last. Trust me. I know better than most. Look I'm going to ask you a question and I don't want no lies, no omissions, just the truth and you know I will support you no matter what. Okay?"

Bella gave such a small nod Charlie wasn't sure she had responded but that wasn't going to stop him, so he carried on regardless.

"Is this what you want Bella? Do you want to get married today? Forget who to, do you want to get married TODAY?"

Charlie had surprised Bella she knew he was bound to ask her if she wanted to get married but she thought he would phase it so he asked her if she wanted to marry Edward and had he she would of said yes, because she did. Didn't she? But phased like that had thrown Bella, because worded like that, she knew deep down she didn't want to get married today but what could she say, she was getting married today.

"Well do you? Bells say something!"

Bella looked up at her father, looking into his chocolate brown eyes that were identical to her own, she could see all the love and care she had taken for granted or not believed was even there, but right now, right there she could see deep into his soul, and he wasn't trying to pressure her, sway her, or persuade her. No in this moment he was letting her take the lead, he was letting her decide what she wanted for her own life, if this was Edward… wait a minute Edward wasn't her father, Charlie was, but even Charlie was giving her more power and control over her life than her fiancé did, surely that said something didn't it? Bella looked her father and shook her head.

"Bells, I'm going to ask you again, just so I am sure… Do you want to get married today?"

"No. Not today. I don't… I nev... but…"

Charlie stood and scooped Bella up with him, "But nothing Bells, get dressed quickly. I've some calls to make" but as Charlie went to step away from her, Bella's phone began to ring. Shit! Alice! "No please don't leave me" she pleaded. Charlie turned to look at her in shock at the panic in her voice.

"Bells, I'll be five minutes, it's okay you need to get dressed, and I gotta use the phone"

"Please stay, otherwise… please. Use my mobile".

Charlie looked at her oddly, but her terrified face, placated any questions he had, something was worrying her and he could the answers to them later, first he needed to sort this mess out and quickly.

Bella was hopping around trying to get dressed under the comforter so Charlie turned around so his back was towards her and dialled Billy's number hoping the old man was awake, if not he was in for a rude awaking.

"Ello" a gruff voice answered.

"Billy, it's me," Charlie heard the old man, suck in air over the connection in surprise.

"I need a favour." Charlie smiled as he spoke; their plan so far was working.

"Anything Chief. The kettle is on. How long will you be?" Then as if realising Bella maybe nearby and listening Billy quickly thought of something to make it seem like Charlie was nervous, and stop Bella from guessing anything was amiss.

"Or do you want some of that special brew Old Quil gave me when Rebecca got married? Not sure how long you'll be standing on that though!" He chuckled resonating down the phone. Bella had stopped dressing as soon as she realised who her father had rang, and was now listening intently as he spoke to his oldest friend, only continuing again when she realised Billy thought Charlie needed Dutch courage and not that she could be abandoning her wedding… Wait was that what she was doing? Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, what would Edward and Alice, and the Cullens say and all their guests.

"Breathe… Bella…. Breathe… in…. out…. In…. out….. That's it like that!" Bella squeezed her eyes closed and concentrated on her dad's soothing tone and her breathing.

"You ok Bells?" Bella nodded. Charlie didn't look convinced.

"What happened?"

Bella shook her head, but Charlie just lifted his eyebrow and gave her his look, that would have hardened criminals divulging their deep dark secrets to him.

"Edward… Alice… guest...s…"

"Breathe Bella… in…out…in…out…."

"Don't worry about that, I'm sorting it. If need be we can postpone it until you are ready okay? You aren't doing anything wrong, trust me. Marrying before you're ready is much worse than postponing it…or calling it off completely" he mumbled.

Grabbing her hand, Charlie pulled her down the stairs just as the door knocked. Charlie felt Bella tense and freeze, he turned around and caught the petrified look on her face before she tried to mask it with a smile. Letting go of her hand he made to step down the last few steps, but Bella grabbed his sleeve tightly and followed behind him, like a frightened child. As he reached the door she stepped behind him, so his frame completely shadowed her, something was seriously amiss, but he didn't have the time to find out what was wrong. Pulling the door open, he was relieved to see Sam Uley, and his two friends and not Alice Cullen, oh wait she wasn't due for another two hours, Charlie realised as he stared at Sam and his friends. He recognised Paul as the more muscular and taller of the two friends, he also now recognised him better as he was now dating Billy's oldest daughter much to Billy's horror, hell he had been there while the old fool had drunk himself into a stupor and began mumbling allsorts about the Great Spirits must be testing him with this one. Charlie had just shook his head as Rachel tried to quiet her father, and helped her put him to bed, as he had tried to hit Paul when he had tried to help Rachel. As for the other one- well you couldn't even say he was the smaller of the two, because he really wasn't, but Charlie couldn't remember his name it was Jerrod, Jerald or Jared, or something.

"Hey Charlie, Billy rang while we were out doing our morning run,", Sam' spoke as Charlie still hadn't said anything in greeting. As Bella heard Sam's voice she peeked out from behind Charlie and peered up at the three wolves, nervously, expecting hostile glares, but instead both Sam and Jared smiled warmly at her perhaps for her father's benefit, and Paul, well Paul, just looked like Paul.

"Bella." Sam nodded to her before he continued talking to her father, "Said you were coming down to see him for some of old Quil's moonshine", Sam chuckled, "thought you may give us a lift down if that's okay?" Charlie nodded thoughtfully, but he didn't say anything. Sam watched Charlie carefully, he wasn't sure the Chief of Police would believe their story of being out running at seven o'clock on a Saturday morning. Charlie was a very observant man, and Sam and Billy both believed he had suspicions something was amiss down on the Rez, but he only ever looked thoughtful, and nodded before accepting whatever they told him. Sam hoped today would not be the day he decided to push for more information. Sam glanced at Bella who had now stepped beside her father, and was no longer using him as a shield. Bella looked confused at Sam, and he could tell she wasn't sure if their story was legit or if something more was a foot, but her eyes were flickering madly behind the wolves, like a scared animal, and Sam could smell her fear. Something was definitely bothering her, and she was acting like she was going to jump out of her skin at any moment.

"Charlie? Can we jump in the bed of Bella's truck? Billy sounded real urgent when he rang. Said Rachel needed Paul asap, and it will take us a while if we run all the way back" Bella's eyebrows shot up momentarily, she knew that was a blatant lie but she quickly rearranged her facial expression before Charlie looked down at her.

"Yeah, yeah, maybe a good idea, let's just go now. Erm Sam you can drive I need to make a call, and Bella isn't up to driving". They all looked down at her as she had began her skittish behaviour of trying to look behind the wolves, and shaking. Bella was pulled out of searching for Alice or Edward who was sure was going to turn up at any moment and with three wolves here, and her father, that would not turn out well, to protest but as all four men glared down at her, she nodded meekly and looked down to the floor instead.

"Let's go!" Paul called as he bounced down the steps and vaulted into the Bella truck. Charlie gave a tiny gasp and shook his head, Sam shook his head, and let out a low deep rumbling growl. Bella panicked, and turned to him with wide, terrified eyes. Sam shook his head at her, letting her know it was okay and not the Cullens. Charlie ignored the growl he must have heard if Bella had, and was trying to gentle coax his clearly scared daughter into the cab of her truck, not realising the men could hear him, he leaned down and whispered into her ear, "Bells are you okay? I can get them to walk back if you'd rather not go with them?" Bella looked at her father with surprise. "No, no, I'm fine", Charlie gave her a disbelieving look. "Bells you look like you're gonna jump at any moment"

"That's not because of the boys, dad. I… don't wanna see Alice. She will be here soon. She said she was coming over earlier."

The wolves had all froze at Charlie's words awaiting Bella's response, as she mentioned Alice all three growled and began moving again, but with added pace. Sam climbed into the driver's seat, and started up Bella's beloved truck, Jared made a less conspicuous jump into the truck bed. "Come on Charlie, Bella some of us need to get home!" Paul called from the back of truck, trying to hurry them without Charlie getting suspicious. Bella was squashed beside Sam and her father, as Sam began pulling out of their driveway. Bella felt Sam give another deep rumbling growl, this time he sounded menacing.

"Oh no. My letter, my photos I left it. I have to get it" Bella shrieked, trying to scramble over Charlie realising what Sam's growl could mean.

"No" Sam stated firmly, pulling her back into her seat, "We don't have time".

"Hey now" Charlie said, as Sam looked at Charlie and shook his head at him. "Charlie trust me" Sam said in a deep timbre that Bella recognised as his Alpha's tone.

"Oh no… but I have to have it, I need it, I can't leave it Sam you don't understand."

"Fine, but I'll get it. Charlie can I have your keys please?" Charlie looked perplexed but handed his keys over to Sam.

"Paul!" Drive! I'll catch you up" Sam jumped from the truck, and Paul slid into the seat Sam had just left, fluidly revving the truck and pulling out of the driveway.

Just then Bella's phone rang in Charlie's hand.

"Ah hello Carlisle, yes its Charlie, no she can't talk at the moment, she is far too upset a family emergency has come up… Yes it means we need to postpone the wedding…. Yes I am aware of that…. Well these things happen… Bella is fine, as well as can be expected. Of course she will speak to Edward, but at the moment, she needs time to be with family and… yes I am aware he is her fiancé and you count her as family… I am grateful but Bella is my main concern. Yes. We are going to La Push for at least the next two days at least"

Bella's head snapped up at her father's words. Charlie shook his head at her. Paul whispered, "It's fine Swan. We can get anything you need later", Bella looked at him in shock.

"….. No she needs time….. She will contact him when she is ready….. Look Carlisle I understand you are looking out for your son, and I would appreciate it if you would respect that I am doing the same for my daughter…. Of course La Push is safe! Look I will be in touch… yes very well… goodbye Carlisle. My regards to Esme and please pass on our apologies to the guests…. Fine bill me for it then, goodbye."

Paul was shaking beside her in the cab, growling sporadically.

"Dad, maybe…"

Paul's head spun around to glare at her so fast it made Bella feel dizzy, his growl thankfully was covered by Charlie's bellow.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! I am not letting you get pushed into going through with this damn wedding, anymore. You don't want to get married Bella, at least today", he added as a way to placate her, in case she went to argue with him.

"Now I need to ring your mother, unless you want to do the honours kiddo?" Bella gave a small smile. Even now 16 years later, and Renee still wore the trousers. Bella shook her head, fighting her first smile of the day, in fact the first since she could remember. "No, you do it. You seem to be on a roll Dad", seeing her smiling if only slightly, gave Charlie hope that his Bella wasn't lost completely. Smiling at her widely, he pressed the number under Mom, and got ready to face Renee, glad it wasn't in person, thank god for small mercies and mobile phones he thought.

Paul nudged her with his shoulder, surprising Bella, again who glanced up at him shyly, "You ok Swan?" he whispered. Bella's mouth dropped open. Paul was not only speaking to her but being nice? Not once but twice maybe she was dreaming?

"You're doing the right thing, Swan. Waiting I mean," he clarified quickly. Bella closed her mouth and nodded, the closer she got to La Push, the more relief washed through her, the closer they got the closer she knew she would be free, even if it was only for a while. She was trying not to get her hopes up that Jacob maybe there and she didn't want to ask any of the wolves or Charlie.

Bella glanced out the window to see a blur of black running adjacent to the truck, in the trees. Charlie was still trying to appease Renee, as Bella had shook her head when her mother had asked to speak to Bella. Paul suddenly pulled over, as Sam ran out of the woods and leapt into the truck, not bothering to check if Charlie was looking before banging the roof for Paul to go.

Bella knew the moment they had passed the treaty line, as all three wolves visible relaxed. A howl from behind them echoed through the sky, making Charlie's head spin around to search the woods, and Paul shook as laughter rolled over him.

"Charlie relax, it's just one of the boys messing around. You know the kids like to pretend the legends are real", Charlie nodded but didn't look any more relaxed.

Bella began to feel nervous as they pulled up outside Billy's red wooden cabin, pulling nervously on her shirt sleeves and chewing on her bottom lip, as Sam and Jared leapt from the truck, and Paul and Charlie both climbed out, all four guys stood at either side of the truck; Sam next to Paul who was still holding the door waiting for her to get out. On the other side Charlie and Jared were in exactly the same position.

Charlie leaned in slightly, "Bells" he asked anxiously, "come on, we're here", he stated, what she already knew, but Bella was stuck in place, she hadn't realised until now that maybe it was too late. Jake said he was leaving, what if he had already gone. Sam stepped up to the cab, nodding to the others towards the house. Sam slipped back into the cab beside her and closed the door.

"Bella, what's wrong?" peeking up from under her lashes, she looked at the older man, who always looked so stoic.

"How…" she started before he interrupted with a faint pull of a smile on his lips, "How do I know something is wrong?" he chuckled, "You're pulling on your shirt sleeve and you're going to town on your bottom lip. Which if I am right, I believe are your nervous ticks. Em has this thing when she flicks her thumb against her finger, and scratching her hand, constantly. Kim twists her hands around, like she is dry washing them, and bouncing, she bounces a lot. Claire stutters, and Rachel's…"

"Rachel's home? Rachel's an imprint?"

Sam nodded, "Paul's".

"Oh no, poor Jake. Poor Billy. How did Rachel take it all?"

"Bella you can ask her yourself in a minute, but what's wrong?"

"Hang on you didn't explain how you knew what my erm nervous 'ticks' were… you just said the imprints had them, but that doesn't explain how you knew mine", "that's easy Bella, Jake. You are all he thinks about, similar I guess to how the others all think of their imprints. So we get a pretty good insight, we are all very observant so obviously we see what they see, what they think about".

"Oh, but I'm not an imprint" Bella sighed disheartened.

"Bella, Jake looks at you and thinks and feels the same way about you that I feel about Emily, that must been something to you. Why did you cancel the wedding?"

"I…. Charlie postponed it… for me",

"Is that what you wanted?"

"Yes. I don't wanna get married. I'm too young. I got Jake's letter and… and… and…" suddenly she was crying again.

"It doesn't matter anyway because Jake has gone. I pushed him away, and now its too late and he has gone. I'll never see him again".

"What would you say to him if you could?"

"It doesn't matter now he's gone. Now. and it's all my fault".

"Bella, shut up and listen, if you could what would you say? To Jake?"

"I would say… I'm sorry. I'd say I loved him. Truly loved him, that I was in love with him. That I wasn't good enough, it was never about him not being good enough. Never him. Jake is much too good for me, and one day he will find his imprint and get his happy ever after. Me? Me I just destroy everything I touch. If I ever got the chance to say something I would tell him I loved him, and I wanted to be with him, even if it wasn't for ever, any about of time would be good enough if it was with him".

"Bella open your eyes" Sam snapped Bella out of her Jake infused thoughts. She turned to look at Sam, "It's time to say something" he said nodded towards the house. Bella turned slowly, only to see Jake stood in front of them, smiling broadly at her.


	7. for one night only

**For one night only… One shot**

She was hit with the loud pounding of the music as soon as she made her way through the doorway. She knew as soon as they had begged and pleaded with her to let them do this for her, to do it for them, it was a very bad idea. The same feeling of dread had curled up in her stomach and never left. In fact it had only amplified and when they had produced all of this stupid "hen" get up, she had nearly called the whole evening off, instead they coaxed her to just wear the "bride to be" , when she had seen all their personalised shirts she had laughed at all their 'names'. However slowly they had given her more and more drinks until she was also in the damn veil as well, she refused the rest. Until they had grabbed her, and using Leah's strength to their advantage, then had managed to get a blindfold on her.

Groaning loudly as loud obnoxious lyrics swirled around her ears, "Guys you promised a quiet evening, I said no bars or clubs! This doesn't sound like Emily's house! And it definitely doesn't smell like Em's!" Her words were met by loud raucous laughter, and a small warm hand patted hers, reassuringly, obviously Emily's.

"Don't worry! This is will be the best night of your life!" Leah's loud voice echoed from in front of her, this didn't surprise her at all. After all she knew the wolves would have put Leah on guard duty of their precious imprints, and Leah quite frankly would scare anyone brave enough to get in their way as they led her to their destination, and despite being scared out of her wits at their plans, she felt safe being blind, with all her friends cocooning her like a bubble.

More drunken giggles, as she was nudged with elbows in a knowing way. "Well at least until your wedding night!" Came another voice giggling very merrily from beside her, as Emily giggled on her other side.

"Rachel!" another voice – Kim-chastised from behind her as someone else gave an embarrassed giggle- Angela and another groaned – Leila– Seth's imprint maybe, and a third mumbled "Ewww please I don't want to think about that", that one, she was sure was Rebecca.

"Move. Bachlorette coming through. Excuse us. Move. Coming through. Move it!"

Bella could hear Leah's commanding voice, cringing as she thought about all the people who must be staring at her being led blindfolded through the club, when she was suddenly plunked into a chair and the blindfold ripped from her eyes, startling her.

The bright flashing strobe lights hurt her eyes as they adjusted to being able to see again. Bella began to try and take in her surroundings, when without warning the music paused and someone began speaking. "Ladies, the wait is over and are you all in for a treat because For one night only…" Glancing around her and realised rather belatedly that everyone here was female, as the voice asked the audience to show some appreciation for the " Big Bad Bouncers"…

"Oh hell no! You didn't! A strip club?" Bella squealed leaping to her feet and swirling around on her friends behind her. All of them had the audacity to look up at her and smile innocently. "What the hell? You do know the boys will hit the roof right?" She stared at them shocked and mortified- this was her worst nightmare come true- well no being dragged on stage was but this was near enough! "I promised…' but her words were interrupted by the music announcing the strippers' entrance. Leah shoved her back into her chair and whispered into her ear, "You're blocking our view Swan! Besides you are going to freaking love it. Trust me".

Bella huffed in response as she looked up to see seven huge, muscular guys strutting towards her, all wearing different types of uniform; a Police officer, pilot, navy officer, fireman, soldier, and even a cowboy. However it was the one in the air force uniform at the front that caught Bella's attention, making her blush deeply. Tom Cruise in top gun was one of her crushes and now one of her secret fantasies. Each one wore sunglasses and some kind of hat which obscured their faces, each had some kind of jacket but their chests were bare and open to showcase their deep tan and six packs.

Even compared to the wolf pack's muscles these guys' bodies were just to die for. Bella blushed she was getting married in two days and here she was ogling another man's body. She cast her eyes down as their dance routine become even more erotic, so she didn't see the two figures walking towards her until they each grabbed a hand and began pulling her up on to the stage.

"No, no, no, no!" she squeaked, as she tried to pull her hand from their firm grips; neither man seemed to notice her attempts to wiggle free or they were clearly ignoring her attempts to escape. She spun around to call the girls for help over her shoulder, but they all were laughing and clapping like a circus ring full of performing seals. That is when it dawned on her, this had been their plan all along. She was so naïve. No wonder when she had refused all their ideas for a "proper" hen party insisting for a quiet night at Emily's, they had all agreed with no complaints, she honestly thought they had conceded with good grace. "Boo hockey" she exclaimed as she was planted on a chair with a spot light facing her so she could no longer see the crowds, but she could clearly hear her so called friends heckling and calling out her name. Her face blazed with embarrassment as the dancers began to all converge on her gyrating provocatively around her. She threw her hands over her face as one began to sway his hips and his bulge closer and closer to her face, before another began to do the same on the other side of her.

Bella could hear loud chants of "Off! Off! Off!" Oh god, please don't take anything off she pleaded, her hands were tugged from her face and tied behind her back. Bella wiggled wildly on the chair trying to loosen her arms, but it didn't work now the dancers were dropping to the floor and stimulating sex positions as one ran his hands up and down her arms as he slowly twisted behind her. Bella looked out to the sea of blinding light and threw a furious glare to her friends, before shaking her head energetically, until her hair made a curtain covering her blazing face.

Loud hysterical screams erupted as trousers and uniforms were flung into the audience. Bella's hands were suddenly free, but she was yanked to her feet before she realised. Mr Top Gun himself grabbed her hands and ran them down his chest. Bella swooned as her finger tips caressed his chiselled chest and six pack muscles, but she tried to pull her hands away out of respect for her future husband, but wannabe Maverick refused as he pushed her hands further down, making Bella squeak as she realised any lower and she would be touching his very impressive bulge. He let go just as quickly as he had grabbed her and with one quick yank was out of his uniform. Oh my god he is just wearing his boxers and his jacket! Bella thought, as she blushed. He smirked at her, before he left her standing there and joined the other six guys as they bowed to the audience.

Seeing her chance to escape Bella quickly made her way to the edge of the stage, as the music switched to the music from Top Gun started, feeling her heart race as "Maverick" in his boxers flashed in her mind again as she scuttled towards the blinding light. Just as she went to hop of the stage two really warm hands grabbed her arms, another grabbed her ankles as she was hoisted in the air. Shrieking in surprise, she had a feeling they weren't' finished with her yet, after all. Placed back on the chair, the police officer and soldier smirked at her knowingly.

A blindfold was carefully tied over eyes as her hands tied behind the chair again, she started to curse loudly but had a feeling no one could hear her over the loud music. She wiggled around like mad on the chair until she felt her legs being pulled apart and securely tied to a leg of the chair, Bella began yelping and then as she heard a chuckle, she cursed loudly "You need to let me go now! You have no idea what my boyfriend… fiancé will do to you! Honestly let me go! He and his friends are really scary he won't like this at all". The chuckle grew louder and deeper and dare she say it huskier. As she felt the ghost of warm fingers trailing up her legs she let out a loud squeal, "Please don't!" The chuckle resonated through her as fingers began to trail up the inside of her legs past her knees and up her thighs. "STOP!" Bella yelped as they began to descend closer to her shorts.

The fingers left her and she shuddered and chewing away on her lip awaiting the mystery man's next move. She felt him hover above her and from the squeals of the crowd she could only imagine what he was doing. She turned her hand to the side, and he chuckled again. Then he was behind her as his fingers slid up her arms, and into her hair as he pulled her hair away from his ears, he leant forward and she felt his hot breath down her neck, making her quiver as hot lips pressed into her neck under her ear.

"Do that again and I'll make it so you an unic!" She exclaimed fiercely.

A guttural loud laugh reverberated around Bella, making her frown. She knew that laugh but it couldn't be. She felt their breath on her neck again, so she took a deep sniff trying to pick out the unique smell that would match that laugh as a voice whispered into her ear, "and I always thought you loved my cock Bells".

**Bella felt the blindfold being loosened and as it fell from her eyes, she looked up properly to get a good look at her mystery Maverick and her heart raced as he prompted his aviators on his jet black spikey hair, and her eyes met the deep pools of dark coffee orbs of her best friend, soul mate and soon to be husband Jacob Black.**


	8. What's love got to do with it

Title: What's love got to do with it  
Pairing: Bella and Edward  
Universe: AH/AU  
Rating: M  
Genre: Angst - not horror  
Prompt #: 6 Dr. Jerkyll and Mr. Hyde.

**What's love got to do with it**

My throat burned. I could taste and smell the rusty odour of fresh blood and feel the rawness of it. My head spun making me feel even more nauseous. My heart pounded loudly in my chest and I could hear a loud thumping in my ears.

I opened my eyes gingerly, and gasped horrified and bewildered as realisation dawned that I couldn't see a thing. Blinking rapidly and repeatedly hoping my blurry vision will begin to focus. Finally it does and I can make out something above me; an off-white smooth surface with a familiar crack running the length of what's visible. Recognition dawns on my hazy, foggy mind and I exhale at the cracked plaster of our bedroom ceiling. How many times have I asked Edward to fix that? I sigh, it's okay I'm at home, whatever the hell is wrong, it's going to be okay; Edward will be home soon, he will help me, he always makes everything alright.

My eyes ache, I feel an excruciatingly sharp shooting pain behind them, and try to grab my head. But I can't. I can't move my hands, or my arms. I can't even feel them. Terror rips through me, panic swells in my gut, I try to feel my legs and move my head. I can't move. I try to open my mouth and even though I know I'm trying it's futile. A terrified scream charges up from my gut only to crash against my locked mouth. My shout of alarm is imprisoned like the rest of me. Instead the scream erupts inside my head.  
I hear the door open.

Thank god Edward is here.

A malicious and sadistic laugh startles me, my heart already racing takes flight so fast I can feel it pounding and vibrating throughout my paralysed body, making it twitch and shudder, chills run down my spine and a cold sweat breaks across my skin, as I lay powerless and vulnerable to whoever is here in my bedroom, in my home. And I can't move or even scream for help.  
I clamp my eyes shut, the only thing I am capable of doing. I feel their breath on my cheek, I smell whisky and…

Paco Rabanne - my eyes snap open as Edward's aftershave invades my senses. His pale blue eyes stare into my own, as he leans over me. The empty soulless look in his eyes, floating above me both terrifies and alarms me, as my own eyes wildly search for some sign of my loving, doting husband. He laughs that spine chilling evil laugh again.  
"Ah I see you're finally awake. I couldn't miss this part – it's the best bit", another chilling laugh, as he leans forward so his once familiar face hovers above me, contorting into something unrecognisable and monstrous. "This is my reward for every time I've had to look at you, kiss you, touch you, fuck you- tell you over and over that I loved you" he shivers, "now I get to watch as you take your last breath," he smiles wickedly down at me, and laughs at my wide eyed but blank expression. "Your eye sight will be one of the last things to go so you will be able to look at me as I watch you die".

He stands above me and rises his whisky glass towards me, as if he is about to give a toast; "To the perfect crime- again."  
He takes a luxurious gulp, and I feel the burn in my own throat. "You aren't my first hapless victim desperate for love," he laughed, "the day we met you were so elated that someone like ME" pointed at his chest, "would talk to someone like you" he taunts poking a finger at me- "I knew then, you would be the easiest one by far." Before sneering "Did you really think someone like me could really actually love someone like you?" He snorts a laugh and takes a long gulp of his drink, sighing as the liquid slips down his throat.  
His words are whirring around my cloudy head, I realise he must have given me something, I try to think but I can't. Nor can I make sense of what he is saying either. It was all a lie? How could someone so perfect do something like this? It was true I had been elated, who wouldn't be- Edward was movie star good-looking with his blonde hair, pale blue eyes, and dimples in his cheeks, an infectious laugh, and a charming personality that made everyone warm to him. He had sent me flowers or given me gifts every day, wined and dined me, whisked me away on romantic getaways, talked about our future, having babies and growing old together. I was finally the envy of all my friends, instead of the odd one out, unlucky in love Tricia, 'always the bridesmaid…', when he proposed after a whirlwind romance of six weeks, I was overjoyed and we had just celebrated our eight month wedding anniversary.

My body felt like it was being crushed and pulverised from the inside out. Fluids raged up my throat, choking me, I spluttered a cough, as he laughed, "No doubt you're wondering why- I can see it in your eyes- that was always your downfall- I knew as soon as I saw you, exactly what kind of person you were! Like a puppy so eager to please but look at you now!" He mocked.  
"You remember those papers I made you sign? .  
Well they will make me a wealthy man with a tidy sum of $1 million once you're dead. That should see me through until I can find the next Mrs. Way-too-Desperate-to-be-loved", I heard his words in the distance as the darkness and pain became too much for me to fight and I began to lose consciousness.  
The last thing I heard as the blackness enclosed around me was Edward's evil laugh echoing above me as I took my last breath, and a tear slid down my cheek.


	9. exhale

**Exhale**

Sweeping a strand of hair with the back of her hand she leaves a dusting of flour in its wake. Her eyes glance towards the clock before flicking towards me. I know she can't see me yet I still scurry back into the shadows. Like a rat.  
Maybe she subconsciously knows she is being watched.

Shaking her head, she turns back to the task at hand, as a deep unhappy sigh escapes her lips. The sound draws me from my hiding place. I know one of these days I will go to her but for now I can only watch.


	10. where the waves dance

  
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Foaming teal waves, coated with white bubbles, kiss the shore, before rushing away only to rush forth for another tease another tender kiss.  
Bella gazes ahead, unaware of the dance of the sea and it's lover.  
Her watcher, studies her silently. It's much too early for her to be here, watching the sunset, alone.  
He checks his watch, 6:30am. She should be at the bakery, he muses.

He watches as she twists her hands, before she picks up a stone and stands. Flinging the pebble into the sea, she turns, walking towards where he is hiding in the shadows.


	11. tied together

Tied together.

Tracing the intricate stitching, each bump and groove the threads make as they weave together beautiful. So many colours, "Each of these represent one of us," they said.

Fingertips linger on the thickest cords; white and black, entwined together amongst the others.

"Tradition states we give bracelets to special people on special occasions", Billy said.  
Embry stepped up to attach it above my missing wolf's charm bracelet.

"It's our wedding gift for you" Billy continued. "It symbolises you're our daughter, sister, pack- regardless".

"Are you ready Bella? It's time". Alice chimes. The wedding music begins.  
"But take those bracelets off."


	12. regrets

Bright, sparkling, black eyes twinkle over sun kissed skin, and a heart-stopping toothy smile beams at me.  
A ghost of his laughter echoes, as my heavy heart breaks again, the weight of my heartache threatens to crush me.

A concerned knock has me pushing the photos of him, my memories, my past back into its hiding place. I palm my tears attempting to dry my face.  
"Just ring him," Fee's calm voice urges.  
I shake my head. I had my chance. I should have appreciated him, should have loved him when I had the chance. Now it's too late.


	13. waiting

_**Waiting**_

She sits.  
Not moving.  
Not speaking.  
Staring into oblivion.  
Waiting.  
Days pass.  
They come, try and make her eat.  
They tell her, she has to pull herself together.  
They try make her shower but she just stands rigid, frozen.  
Still she doesn't move.  
Doesn't speak.  
Doesn't see.  
No one can get through to her.  
They know she's gone.  
She isn't there.  
It's just her body.  
No life. No soul. No spirit.  
The walking dead they call her.  
She doesn't hear.

The days slowly pass to months.  
They go.  
Yet still she sits, looking out.  
Waiting for him to come home.


	14. come back to me

The beaker slips from my grasp, my attempt to grab it fails as my stomach lurches backwards. Pain so intense and furious rips through me like fire-blazed razors sear me half.

Jacob is shouting, pleading, "keep your heart going Bells," his voice, strained with emotion. Edward's voice sounds cold, clinical.

My eyes flicker to huge black irises awash with tears. Locking eyes with his, I feel something but before I register what it is, his face rolls from my gaze and I hear his pleas, "to stay with me," "come back to me."

Through the darkness I see a light.


	15. lady and the tramp

She giggled again at her favourite film. Her laughter, always so contagious, I smile lovingly at her, as she snuggled closer into my side. Eventually her laughter slowly stops, her breathing begins to become more even and deeper.  
"Come on Pidge, it's time for bed."  
"I'm not tired," she murmurs softly with the tiniest shake of her head but her arms slip around my neck, her head nestled into the crook of my neck.

I place Tramp, her favourite toy, a teddy Bells found that looked just like my wolf, in her hand as I kiss my beautiful sleeping daughter.


	16. Revelations from the past

_**Revelations from the past**_

Rummaging amongst the boxes long enough that the attic dust had began to irritate my throat, finally I found what I had been looking for.

"Hi Bells," Charlie greeted me before he entered the kitchen an hour later.  
"Hey that's me!" He exclaimed, pointing at the baby in the photograph, in my hand.

Several couples stood smiling in front of some questionable wallpaper. I recognised my grandparents, however it was another couple who held my attention; a tall, Native American man with his arms wrapped around his bride.  
"Who's that Dad?"  
"My Aunt Lilian and Uncle Douglas, Sam Uley's uncle."


	17. Let me in

Title: let me in ... Part two of come back to me

Pairing: Jacob/Bella; mentions of Dickward and Rose

Genre: Angst/Romance

Rating: M for language

Word count: 500

Prompt: "Wicked Games" by The Weeknd

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended

Let me in

Dangling dangerously over a precipice, a surprised cry yanks me forcefully back into reality. Breathing harshly, I open heavy eyes with the little strength that remains to see Edward's face contorted with disgust he is holding.

Horror seeps through me.

"Give. Him. To. Me. Please," I pant pleadingly.

"Her. Renessmee, my love, you have a baby girl," his face quickly transforms into my Edward's, but it's too late. I've seen the real Edward now.

Placing her into my arms, as cold lips press a kiss into my hair. Shivering, I'm lost momentarily in the sight of my daughter; big brown, bemused orbs blink at me. Puffs of curly auburn hair sticks up from her creamy skin. Yawning, her lips part into a perfect 'o' before her eyelids flutter closed.

Black silence envelopes me like a quilt.

Where I am?

Where's my baby?

Renessmee?

Jake?

Startled crying. I can hear her.

"Take her," a chilling voice demands.

"So you can change her? It will kill her!" A deep, husky voice bellows, emotion and fury lacing every word.

"No it won't!" The cold voice declares, "the imprint didn't take hold... you know it didn't -something blocked it."

Imprint? Blocked?

"I'll take her," a female voice coos; Rose.

"She's still human. This is what she wanted!"

"No! It's what she thinks she wants! You never left her alone long enough for your magic to wear off!"

"Give up Jacob, it's too late. Otherwise she dies."

"You bastard! You knew all along she had a shield, didn't you?" Rose shrieks.

"A shield? You knew? This was your plan all along," Jake accuses, "but you didn't know she could lift it. She was always supposed to be my imprint! You've read my thoughts Leech you've always known even without the imprint and deep down so does she!"

"GET OUT DOG! I need to save my wife," horror rushes through my veins at their words.

"Edward, Bella won't want this, not now- Carlisle warned us there was a possibility of this. She's human... You agreed-"

"I said GET OUT!" He roars.

Fighting to get back, I pull up images of those I love. I don't want to die, nor do I want to be like him either; a cold heartless monster.

"Bells, Bells, wake up! You have to let me in!"

Summoning all my strength, I open my eyes, searching for him. I need him to protect my baby, keep her safe.

Locking eyes, he pleads with me to drop my shield but I don't know how.

"Bells, please let me love you, I know you love me," finally I realise I DO! I've always loved him. I try to tell him as images of us, flash through my head, keeping eye contact until my eyes unwillingly close and he sighs defeatedly.

"Sod it, maybe it'll work anyway," he mutters, "Please forgive me Bells."

I want to tell him I'm sorry for everything. Instead I manage to look, one last time at his tear filled eyes...


	18. LET HER GO

Title: LET HER GO... Part three of come back to me and let me in

Pairing: Jacob/Bella; mentions of Dickward and Rose  
Genre: Angst/Romance

Rating: M for language

Word count: 500

Prompt: Quote- I let her hand go.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended

Claret liquid surges out of the needle, passing through translucent skin into barely pulsating veins. Her heart was giving up I could hear it slowly down. This was the sound I had lived for even before I could hear it, like now. A steady thumping, drumming a rhythm of its own, one I knew I could pick out no matter what, was gradually decreasing preparing for its last thud.

I prayed this worked, even without an imprint in place. I plead over and over again, please let it work...

The other option didn't bear thinking about.

In this moment even I had doubts that maybe the Leech was right and vampirism would have been better than death for her, at least we wouldn't lose her; not completely... But it was too late now my blood was in her system, mixing with venom would kill her now.

I had killed her. I shouldn't have taken the chance I should have let him turn her…

But I knew deep down it wouldn't be what she wanted, she thought she did, but she'd regret it, hate it, hate what she had become, she would rather die than live like that especially now that we knew Renesmee had more human qualities to her than vampire. We didn't know exactly the percentage but it was enough Bella wouldn't want to risk it- not on a whim. She had been so explicit in her terms when Carlisle had uncovered new information; from some ancient vampire hiding in the outback of Australia. The one place you wouldn't expect to find a Bloodsucker!

"Will this work?" Blondie asks, as she gently rocks the baby in her arms.

"I don't know," I sigh defeated.

"What makes you think it will?" She asks, stepping beside me.

I drag my eyes from Bella's gaunt face my hand seeks out her hand, lacing my fingers through hers. They feel like icicles between my hot ones.

"I don't," I shrug, the movement seems to take what little energy I have left, and I slump forwards. A chair is pushed under me knocking me off my feet before I fall.

Blondie is standing over me. A small hand peeks out from the blanket; the last remaining piece of Bella, of my Bella. I feel a pull, an urge to touch the hand, no matter how hard I try I can't fight it and I reach to touch the tiny fingers. A tiny warm fist wraps around my finger tightly. Blondie chuckles delightedly, "she likes you! Look, she's smiling," lowering the bundle down so I can see Bella's baby for the first time; puff of reddish-brown fluffy hair, sits upon a small round face with creamy skin and rosy cheeks. Long lashes flutter like two butterflies before huge chocolate eyes open and peer up at me, sleepily, as two dusky pink lips give a little yawn and curl into a smile, and I feel a surge of emotion rush through me.

I drop Bella's hand.


	19. Unnamed

This is an idea I've had- with all the angst of broken trust I figured to keep me this side of sane... I wanted to write something light hearted- I've got an idea but in my head but not sure whether to continue or not

"FUCK YES! Tonight is going to be my lucky night I can feel it in my…Ow!" Quil squawked loudly, as Paul cuffed him sharply around the back of his head.

"For Fuck's sake, what have I told you about playing it cool dipshit!" Paul snapped, "24 and he's still acting like he did as a pre-puberty virgin seeing a girl for the first time!"

Everyone laughed as Quil rubbed his head.

"But look at those honeys!" he exclaimed, his enthusiasm not dampened at all. We had already seen the group of girls totter in, in their skyscraper heels, shimmering their way through the club to a reserved booth. Having already given them a cursory glance as they had entered I dint bother to look again. Instead I stared down at the bottle in my hand, before a loud smack caught my attention. Looking up at the boys, I saw they were still discreetly checking out the 'fresh meat', Quil however was openly ogling them; he didn't have a subtle bone in his whole entire body, while rubbing his arm.

"I'm going t-ow. Stop fucking hitting me LaHo or I'll…"

"Don't you fucking dare! You'll fuck it up for the rest of them." The other single boys nodded. My lip curled up into a crooked smile. I should be pissed, my first boys night out since was going to turn into a "pussy patrol", but in all honesty, I just wanted to go home. I'd been dragged out despite my protests of not feeling up to it. The gesture meant more than the actual deed, the sooner I could get these guys off my back and distracted by some breasts the quicker I could escape.

It had only been two weeks since I'd found out my live in girlfriend, had been cheating on me, and in one of the worst ways possible, and literally ripped my world apart. We'd met at college, we only had one semester left before we both graduated and I had one major essay due before I started my final placement next week. I'd been studying all day and since Cassidy wasn't due home until later that night I'd vowed to stay and finish it on campus because I knew she was getting fed up of me having my head always in a book or the laptop. But having begun to feel ill, I'd given up all pretence of finishing my work, deciding to head home where I'd at least be more comfortable in the long run. Surprised to find when I came out it was raining heavily and growing foggy, I rang Cass to tell her I'd pick her up from work, but her mobile went to voicemail, she only worked a short drive from the apartment so I decided to swing by her office. She had been so happy when she had got an internship at a popular publishing house, and she had stayed on as a receptionist and assistant after her internship had finished. They had already offered her a full time position once she finished college. However driving towards EMC's I was surprised to see her car packed on the side of the road, panic that she had broken down on a such quiet road with no cell phone made my skin break into goose bumps. Thanking the spirits I had felt ill and decided to leave earlier, now. Swinging the car around and pulled up behind her work car. However, something didn't feel right and the queasy feeling in the pit of stomach trebled as I grew closer to the car and saw the windows were steamed up, shaking my head and thinking up 101 different reasons why that was, I carried on just about to tap the window when her hand smashed against the misted glass, and her excited moans reached my ears. I'd stagger back towards my car before my stomach emptied on the side of the road.

"Jake bro?"

"Hmmm yeah?"

"You okay man? You spaced out," Embry asked tentatively, checking no one else had noticed I nodded, and gave him a weak smile in return.

"The guys wanna go try their luck with those girls, you coming?"

"Nah, I need another beer, Em," I raise my still half-filled beer at him. He arches an eyebrow at it and give me one of his knowing looks so I down it one mouthful.

"Ok, now I need one," I reply as he laughs, smacking me across my back as I turn towards the bar.

Shoving my way through the intoxicated people, I make it to the bar and raise my hand at the bartender for service he nods in acknowledgement before serving the punter in front of him. I glance back at the booth to see the guys have well and truly integrated themselves amongst the girls, who are now all smiling and giggling at them.

A sharp stabbing pain shoots through my foot and I yelp in surprise more than pain.

A shadow yells our cursing as they stumble forward almost colliding into the bar I grab them instinctively, steadying them back onto patent black stilettos.

"You okay?" concerned I ask, my own pain forgotten, a mass of reddish brown hair, straightened, curled and pimped to an inch of its life, bobs up and down, but as yet hasn't looked up from her feet as she totters closer to the bar, gripping it as if her life depended on it.

Clearly pissed I assume, but taking a subtle yet deep breath I am surprised that despite the smells and odours surrounding me, this girl doesn't seem to smell of anything but an over bearing stench of expensive perfume. She had anchored herself against the wooden bar and seemed to be trying to dig her nails, into the bar, or so it seemed. It was hard to tell as she had pressed herself flat against the bar so snuggly that the only thing showing was her perfectly painted blood red nails.

Giving a deep sigh, she turned to look at me. Her overly glossed lips formed an 'o' as her eyes met my shirt, her eyes slowly travelled up towards my chest and then finally reached my face. Her eyebrows shot up, as she blinked stunned.

"God! You're massive!" Her face reddened and her eyes widened as she realised what she had said, and her hand flew to clamp over her mouth. Letting out a deep guttural laugh at her obvious embarrassment, which only made her cheeks darken further.

"Tall, you're like a giant… I mean… argh!" Her hand had left her mouth only to be planted against her forehead in exasperation. "God I'm sure a moron! This is exactly why I didn't wanna come out, grrr," she muttered to herself, oblivious to the fact I could hear her perfectly well even with all the other noises around me.

Despite her overwhelming perfume, heavy makeup, and her audacious choice of clothes, there was something about her mannerisms and general demeanour that draw me to her. Everything about her seemed to shout contradiction. From the way she was dressed, normally I wouldn't have given her a second look, but the moment I saw her horror at her slip and then her blush I knew I wanted to get to know her better.

"I'm Jacob, Jake," offering my hand, and taking my first proper look at her face, behind the layers of foundation and mascara were two large toffee spheres, that sparkled as she grazed at me, with amazement.

"Er, Bella, I mean ah dammit!" another loud laugh escaped my lips, and I relished in the feeling. It felt like an eternity since I had felt this light and carefree.

"Forgot your fake name? Already? Something tells me you're not used to this whole scene?" I teased attempting to glance at her hand, looking the tell-tale stamp. The last thing I wanted or needed right now was to chat up a minor, no matter how beautiful or bashful she seemed. She saw my eyes glance to her hand, and she pulled it sharply down by her side, making her sway on her feet and grab for the bar again.

"NO! I just-"

"What can I get you?" the bartender asked, interrupting her.

I gave my order and asked her for hers, she glanced behind her, and I followed her line of vision surprised to see it landed on the group of girls in the booth the pack were currently entertaining. So she was with that lot, I thought confusion radiated through me. They all looked like they did the bar scene regularly and all looked older than her, but she was clearly over 21 and able to drink. The bartender asked for hands, so I'd seen both her hands were stamp free.

Gathering ours drinks I turned to lead the way through the crowd, when I felt two warm hands land on my back, chuckling to myself, I threw my free arm back and grabbed her around the waist, lifting her and placing her in front of me as she let out a stunned squeak. She'd grabbed my forearm as I moved her and she was still holding on tightly. Someone pushed past her making her fall against me and I let out a growl at the guy as he passed me. Two huge orbs stared at me, as she felt the growl vibrate through my chest into her back. Holding on to her tightly, her back still pressed into me, as she precariously wobbled her way through the crowd. Smiling as she went, just as I thought she wasn't used to heels, which only cemented my certainty she wasn't the party girl she was dressed up as, and she unquestionably wasn't a high heels kind of girl.


	20. Long forgotten - Part Four of come back

Title: Long forgotten - Part Four of come back to me, let me in, and let her go.  
Pairing: Jacob/Bella  
Genre: Angst/comfort/family  
Rating: T  
Word count: 500

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended

Deep in her abyss of darkness, an echo breaks the heavy cloak of blackness swathing and smothering her. A low hum punctures the heavy silence, startling her. Eyes flying open, attempting to adjust to the unknown oblivion surrounding her. From the lurking shadows a giggle resonates close to her ear, another so close to her other ear, she feels breath graze her ear, making her start.

A small, young boy, runs clumsily in front of her, his dark hair bounces as he runs, bare tanned feet are dirty from the dusty ground, his laughter trailing after him as he stops to taunt her by wiggle his bottom, except he's whole frame wiggles making his laughter grow louder with giddiness. Two small, thin, pale white arms stretch outwards, attempting to catch him, but he darts out of their gasp, dodging her again. This makes him bark with laughter, as he tries to do his wiggle dance again, teasing her.

This time Bella feels herself catching his contagious laughter, spilling from the lips she is yet to see. It isn't her laugh; it's higher, happier, carefree and childlike. The little boy turns to look at her over his shoulder at the sound of laughter, just as an unknown voice calls out the same name that tumbles from Bella's own lips.

"Jake!"

"You 'an't 'atch me Bells! I'm a big bad wolf, and you 'an't 'atch me silly smelly old one!" He calls out, but Bella suddenly loses him from sight, momentarily, as the world seems to spin and turn on its side.

"Bells," Jake's little voice shrills, even as a baby, she can hear the worry and concern that still laces his voice now. Bella sees the little red house on its side, in front of her, as a pair of chubby knees squats besides her. A plump hand moves the hair out of her wet, blurry eyes.

"Bells you o'ay?" His baby body laying on the ground, his nose touching hers, their breath mingling as a warm little hand reaches over to comfort her, while she cries.

"Bella! Jake! What happened?" Sarah, Bella thinks, before she sees or processes who it could be, but as as Jake jumps up, she knows she is right. Sarah cradles her, as Bella gasps as she sees a much younger Charlie and Billy, both walking towards her, Sarah whispering motherly reassurances into her ear, as Bella clung to her.

"We just p'aying, and Bells fell. I sorree Bells," Jake looked at the ground kicking the dust with his bare feet.

"It's not your fault buddy," Charlie ruffles Jake's hair as he reaches for Bella.

"We was p'aying 'atch, and… and I called Bells a silly stinky 'old one and she fell!" He breaks into tears matching his best friend.

"I don't wanna be stinky old ones daddy."

Suddenly Bella is dropped back into the darkness as a fire sears through her torso. As the realisation dawns on her, a tortured scream rips from her lips.


	21. Chapter 21- dearest little nudger

Warning character death. A letter written in case she didn't survive the birth and vampirism to her then unborn child on their 18th birthday

Title: My dearest nudger

Pairing (for fanfiction): Bella and Baby.

Rating: PG13- mentions death .

Genre: Angst, friendship, Romance!

Word count: 682 -

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

My dearest nudger,

Happy 18th Birthday my beautiful baby, I'm so sorry I'm not there to see you and make this day super special for you but I know Rose and Alice will throw you an amazing party.

I know you will have received the other cards and letters I've wrote for you but this one is different.

I've said it in every one of my letters but I as much as I wish I could be with you and watch you grow but I wasn't meant to be immortal, and as much as it pins me to think of you growing up without me I wouldn't have changed having you for one second. The moment I knew, the moment I felt you I knew I'd do everything in my power to bring you into this world. I knew I wasn't strong enough to make it through- I just couldn't confess it aloud to your father he would never allowed me to risk my safety but I until I felt you I didn't realise what my purpose in this life was. I wrote you these letters so I could be with you on your special occasions in the only way I knew how.

I hate that while I'm writing these I don't know if I have a daughter or a son, but I hope I survive long enough to see you take your first breath, to greet you and be your Momma even if it is for a fleeting moment. I have no idea what your father will do, once he realised our other option hasn't worked.

He always did have a rather overdramatic side, I guess it took me falling pregnant to see it. I hope he stayed and you at least got to be with him but if not I know Rose and Emmett would be awesome parents, Esme and Carlise, wonderful grandparents and Alice and Jasper a doting aunt and uncle, who will tell you about both your father and I, but the reason this letter is special is because now you are 18, there is someone I hope for you to meet. I know you will be in Forks, it was all arranged.

I want you to meet your human family, my family. Now that enough time has passed, to explain you looking so grown up. Aunty Alice and Rose will take you to see Grandpa Charlie as soon as you want, and your grandma Renee, Alice will be able to tell you where she is- she likes to move around so I have no idea where she could be but I doubt your grandpa will have moved from our old house. I have some letters for you to take to him as well, for him and my best friend Jacob Black, hopefully it will help them to finally meet you. I would really like you and Charlie to meet and spend time together, but for obvious reasons Rose and Alice won't be able to go with you so only go when you feel ready. I know you probably wanted to know this side of your family sooner and hopefully you understand the reasons you couldn't and as I hope one day Charlie will understand whatever reason the Cullens tell him why he couldn't be a part of your life sooner. Please give him a big cuddle or a manly handshake from me- I really wish Alice could see you all grown up so I could name you already! But I know you will be a beautiful Renessmee or Edward Jacob. I never did get to go home and see him one last time everything happened so quickly.

There is another letter for after you have met Charlie, please remember I would never ever change what happened or my choices- I would do it all again! I promise you!

Happy birthday my little nudger, all my love Momma xxx

Folding the letter up and slipping into my pocket, I look up at the house my mother spent her the first and last few years of her life in.


	22. Chapter 23 memories

Okay all the normal disclaimer bits and pieces no idea what the original ones are as I can't remember every writing original oh maybe once upon a time for a Drabble...  
Rating: PG

This is an idea I've had floating around for ages and I had half hour free and started writing it but I knew if I tried to make it into ff it wouldn't be right so I kept it as the original concept... I've got an actual idea but I've not been brave enough to put pen to paper! But this is like a snippet of an idea in my head it's not so much something from the story but it gives you a taster - basically I'm dipping my toe in to see what everyone/ anyone thinks... It prob won't even make sense!  
I haven't pre read it as I know I will do what I always do when I try and do an original and freak out and delete it so anyway here it is.

**MEMORIES**

**_Memories of you always knock the wind out of me, make me die a little more, make my heart break a little more, make me ache for you so much more than before. Even now..._**

Heartache panged deep inside his chest, as he watches her face light up, with such love, adoration; so strong it could almost be worship, at the person in her arms. Hers eyes, filled with tears of happiness as she planted a soft kiss on his cheek.  
resisting every natural instinct in him to rush to her, to wipe away her tears with peppered kisses to her cheeks, takes every ounce of self-restraint he has.  
He can't go to her, not now.  
Instead his has to let another cradle her, comfort her, love her. Because he couldn't.  
He did something far greater than anyone- any mere human could ever understand.  
He let her go.  
He broke her heart.  
And his.  
So she could live her life the way she was supposed to, before his needs to meet her again, to converse with her again, just one more time, for her to see him, one more time overwhelmed every fibre of his being, making everything, every life, every soul he had ever processed vanish like he had never existed before he saw her. The desire to just see her, and to be seen by her, to have just one moment of her time, of her life that she could remember, to know that he would be in one of her memories - even if she would never even know it. He didn't want to be some dusty far away memory of a dusty childhood imaginary friend, she believed she had made up, one rainy afternoon when she lonely. No he would just be a random guy asking for directions.

Oh but when she smiled...  
How everything he knew about his detail, every lesson, every demand, direction, purpose he had, fell away.

All he could see was her.

The way her eyes sparkled and twinkled as she smiled, the tinkle of her laugh, the rosy colour of her cheeks or the dusty pink of her lips as they parted to let out that angelic voice as she shook her head, her hair falling down around her face, making her hair glint and dance in the sunshine, or how she looked up from under her long, ebony lashes, as she apologised because she never heard of the Orrin, and couldn't help him on his way.

He smiled indulgently at the memory, of course she wouldn't, no one knew it; it wasn't a place. It was who, or more precise what he was. No human would ever know.

That brief encounter, would gain him a punishment at the end of his detail but he didn't care- he knew that moment would see him through any punishment the Orrinic ordained.

Yet it wasn't enough. He wanted more.

Yet like any addiction it overtook him, he knew he should stop but he couldn't. Every word, every touch, every kiss was never enough.

Until she wanted more.

He knew he could never give her what she deserved.  
Instead he did what he should have done from the beginning.

Stepping back into the shadows, he became her shadow, her protector, her guardian, he became invisible to her, once again.

Watching every torturous moment as she lived the life she had always been destined for.

Now he only observes from the shadows. Rerunning his memories of her, of them, of his brief time living a life he had no right to live. But for every torturous memory, every reminder, every memory, for whatever punishment awaits him. He would do it all again for that brief moment in her life, that she was his.


	23. Time extended flash fic

Prompt: Sam Hunt's "take your time"

TIME

Once I made a decision, I stuck to it. Unlike most people it wasn't living with the outcome I struggled with, but the actual process I found difficult. Once I had decided, I committed to seeing it through to the end, no matter what; never wavering, never having any second thoughts, I was resigned to my decision. No matter what.

Until now.

This time however was different, I couldn't seem to shift this feeling that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

The loss of Edward had left me catatonic with a lasting, almost paralysing fear of abandonment - his; I knew I couldn't live without him - those six months apart, had nearly destroyed us both.

However the loss of my best friend, and one of the only two real constants in my life, had been easier to hide, yet the actual loss had had a far greater and deeper impact.

Despite breaking Jake with my words that fateful night; my declaration that Edward's love was too overpowering for me to break. I knew I loved him, and that a far larger part of my heart belonged to Jake and always would. Something I couldn't admit to myself let alone to him. Just as his joy and his pain had always been mine, my heart had broken that night along with his. In fact I'm sure our scars and cuts were identical. The moment those words left my mouth, I knew I couldn't undo it. People say you heart don't actually break, but that isn't true. I felt my heart actually breaking, severing itself off from the rest of which belonged to Edward and I felt Jake's breaking with it.

I had chosen my life, long before I found Jake and even before I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I couldn't live without Edward. I always knew I wanted to be with Edward right from the start and being changed was the only way for that to happen.

I'd never considered that maybe, just maybe I'd made the wrong decision until now or maybe I made it before I truly knew what it meant.

Jacob's absence had ripped open the hole that Edward had left - only this time it was like a bomb, exploding, leaving mass destruction and chaos in its wake. Instead of Jake, this time it was the Cullens holding me together without even realising it. As I tried to maintain the facade on the outside so no one would see the devastation on the inside. So wrapped up in the planning and preparations for the wedding, Edward or Alice never left my side except when I needed a human minute, and even those I knew my thoughts would betray me to Alice and in turn Edward. It wasn't like I was changing my mind; I wasn't, however the need to reach out ask the pack if they had heard anything, was overwhelming, leaving my phone scorching a hole in my pocket.

Folding the lid down on the last box, I glanced around my childhood bedroom. My last night before becoming Mrs. Bella Cullen, wife to Edward, the newest vampire of the Cullen family and coven but dead to my family and friends and the mortal enemy of Jake and the pack.

Pain. Excruciatingly pain searing my soul, torturing my heart ripping me apart, torturing me and breaking me all over again.

I never knew it would be this bad, be this hard. This is what I wanted- no it's what I want... Isn't it? No I made my mind up. I chose. It's too late now.

Collapsing onto my bed as it gets too much and the pain I've kept inside for much too long finally erupts out in wails, tears streaming down my face, escaping, running from me.

Charlie rushes to me, he attempts to hold me, soothe me, placate me but eventually it's like he knows I have to let it out and even he bids me goodbye. Closing my door after placing a kiss into my hair.

My body finally submitting to the exhaustion and sleep slowly soothes my sobbing, as I fall into a still tortured sleep.

Dreaming of the boy I miss more than I consciously realise, of the future I could have had.

Dreaming of the warmth only he can give as it wraps around me, and I sigh contentedly, snuggling into it all the while the voice I've yearned for whispers soothing words and comforting lullabies to help me drift into a peaceful sleep.

Only as the sun begins to peek into my window do I feel the cold creeping in as aN angel's voice echoes into my dream as dream Jake whispers in my ear;

"Bells, if only you knew. If only you would have seen all I ever wanted was for you to take your time, to wait, live a little more.

I never wanna change you I love you just the way you are and I know i can't make you love me hell we don't ever have to ever cross that line I'm happy being your friend - I won't call call you baby and I won't ever call you mine.

I don't even have to have your heart.

All I want is to grow old with you

If you could, if you only would just change your mind, just give me time Bells.

All I've ever wanted was your time,

Just give me more time Bells."


	24. He knew her

**He knew her.**

He knew all about her.

Her father was his father's best friend and well those two, they talked like old women. So he knew all about her. He heard all the stories her father had to tell.

All the things he shared, all the things he worried about, all the things he told his father, in confidence, he heard from his spot under the window.

He used to be her best friend when she was 5 and he was 3.

He was her best friend until she was 12, and he turned 10.  
Before his mother died.

Then he lost her.

That year he lost them both.

He knew all about her.

He knew about the life she had.

How hard she had had it.

He knew how hard she fought to survive, to bring herself up with a useless mother, to make something for herself

How hard she tried to locate her real father when she lost her mother, so she wouldn't end up god knows where.

He knew all about the choices, all the mistakes she had made.

He knew all about her.

He watched from afar.

He knew all about the man she chose. He knew all about her husband.

Who drank too much, smoked too much, got high too much.

He knew all about her.

How her life was spiralling rapidly out of control,  
but she refused to see it.

He knew all about her.

He watches her from afar.

Wishing she would spot him when he walks by on his way to and from work everyday, pitifully hoping one day she will recognise him and call out his name.

But nothing.

So instead he watches from a far while the husband drinks too much and sways too much, shouts too much and lashes out too much.

He watches from a far.

His blood boils and steams, as the man she chooses, says such vile things and calls her all kinds of names, raising his cruel hand to poke and prod as he taunts her.

He stands debating to venture in or stay back. He knows help is never welcome, he knows from her father, and he knows from first hand. She doesn't need saving, she says.

Instead he watches from afar.

Her husband staggers drunkenly onto his feet, pushing his hand into her face, making her fall.

He races from his cover, but fights every urge to go to her and instead slopes back into the shadows.

Watching as the man she wants, chooses to be with, slaps her hard across the face, her thin skin erupts with blood as she hides her tears. "Get out my way" he crows, kicking her, as he passes.

From his hiding place he watches, knuckles tightly clenched, biting his lip so hard he draws blood.

He hears a whimper, as a small shadow appears in the doorway.

"Get out of my way you bastard!"

The husband yells, shoving the weeping child, her son, out of his way as he enters their house. She may not need saving, he thinks, but someone sure does.


	25. Never alone

Week 29 Prompt: b - the quote "don't worry, I'm never alone"

Title: I'll be watching you

Pairing (for fanfiction): Bella/?  
Rating: M

Genre: stalker... No idea what genre that comes under

Word count: 500

Turning the page, biting her lip, her finger drifts along the edges of the pages she's yet to discover. The tiny bud of her tongue pokes out between those luscious lips as she drags her fingertip gently downwards, leaving a glistening trail in its wake. She fingers the corner of the page, teasingly, before she finally folds her finger underneath, and turns the page, beginning the process again.

Long, ebony lashes flutter as her dark, brown eyes race across the words; sometimes her mouths moves with them. Twirling a lock of deep, mahogany hair around a finger on the hand not holding her joy, she's so immersed in her novel she doesn't notice me, watching her so ardently, I see every movement she makes. Every breath she takes.

Pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth, alternating between nibbling, chewing and sucking it, making me wondering what part of the book she is reading, the same book I have open in my lap.

Curled into a ball, like a cat, in the chair. Her scarf, now open allows a peek of pale skin.  
Her lip plops out with a delicate kissing noise, her face breaks, radiating a smile and then the most delectable laugh escapes those perfect lips, before her dainty hand clasps across her face, cutting off the sound and smile, that I yearn to be both the reason for and the recipient of.

Peeking out from under those dark lashes, she casts a fugitive look around nervously. A blush creeps across her face. Dropping my head, I turn a page, pretending to read, before checking the coast is clear- it feels like an eternity, before finally, it's safe to watch her.

Desire to pull that bottom lip between my teeth grows, as does the erection pushing against the book nestled in my lap.

Eventually, her phone beeps earning a beautiful smile, she taps a reply, before shoving both phone and book into her bag, she's leaving.  
Cursing inwardly, as she turns away from me, denying me the view of her face and neck as she slides her scarf off, re-tieing it around her pale neck, spending only moments wrapping her flimsy coat tightly around herself, as if that will protect her from the weather at this time of year.

Pulling her long locks out from under her scarf, freeing them to cascade down her back she leaves the shop and me, I smile knowing she can't escape me so easily.

Silently, slipping out after her, and into the shadows. It's dark and heavy with the looming storm, even though it's late afternoon. Stopping under a lamp to shift her bag, she tightens her grip on her coat. Briefly her eyes dart to the sky and around her nervously. She hates walking alone, in the dark but the threat of the storm petrifies her.  
I can smell her fear from here.

She doesn't know it but she needn't worry, because she's never alone.  
I'm always here.  
With her.


	26. waiting on you

Week 29 Prompt: b - the quote "don't worry, I'm never alone"

Title: Waiting on you

Rating: M

Genre:... No idea what genre this comes under

Word count: 100

The full moon illuminates the night lighting up the street he has already driven down twice.  
She is always here, always.

Where is she?

Why isn't she here?  
Then he sees her.

Alone.

He drives down the road for a fourth time now with a destination.

The window purrs, and she strolls over.

"Looking for some fu- oh," dropping her business voice she climbs in.

Driving back afterwards he speaks, "You look lonely, do you..."  
"No. I like my job. Don't worry about me - I'm never lonely." She smiles, climbing out of the car and walking over to another.


	27. Her Saviour

Her saviour  
Three sharp taps against the wooden door announced her saviour had arrived!

Flying the door open, happy that she wouldn't be sat in the dark for much longer she was surprised when she found the janitor wasn't the old greying man, she expected.  
"Oh!... Erm where's eh..." All thoughts of the ageing caretaker left her the minute she looked at the tall, dark, handsome stranger stood in her dorm doorway with his tool bag at his boots. Her eyes travelled up from his biker boots, up his dark jeans and across his white t-shirt which was pulled tightly across his muscles chest and bulging biceps, navigating his tanned neck and finally locked eyes with his deep obsidian, blushing deeply when she took in his cocky, wide toothy smile.  
"Billy?" He asks, his voice deep and husky, which makes the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, goosebumps trail all over her skin and butterflies surge her stomach.  
Not trusting her voice, she nods instead.  
"I'm his son, Jacob, Jake to my friends," he winks as he bends to collect his tool bag.  
"My sister went into labour and she wants the old man there so I got called in to be him for the night- unfortunately for you but it seems to have worked out in my favour!" He laughs a deep, throaty laugh, as she blushes again.  
"So what can I help you with?" He asks as thousands of inappropriate thoughts race through her mind as she steps back to allow him entrance to her dark room, the only light shines from her laptop screen sat on the bed.

"Top Gun! My all time favourite movie," he nods in approval, at the frozen screen. "the reason I learnt how to ride a motorbike, the flying however I never got round too! I got too fixated by engines instead," he smiles, almost bashfully at having said too much.  
Realising she was yet to speak she holds her hand out, "I'm Isabella Swan, Bella to pretty much everyone." He wraps his massive bronzed hand around her pale small one, startling her with the heat that encases her, as well as the muscles which flexes as he moves.  
"So Bells, is this all," he gestures to the darkness, "for ambiance and you've called me here to seduce me with Top Gun and popcorn? Because let me tell you it's worked or... Something blew and now you're sat in the dark waiting for me to shut up and it fix it so you can go meet your boyfriend and friends in the bar?"  
Laughing as he looks at her expectantly,  
"Since I didn't know it would be you and not your dad it's not the first, because that would just be very, very wrong!" He nods at her, "that is very true", he speaks seriously, "which means it's the latter, although if I was your boyfriend," he looks over his shoulder at her as he opens up her fuse box, "I wouldn't leave you alone in the dark with a strange man, and go to the bar! I'd take full advantage of it instead!" He adds suggestively.

She tells him there is no boyfriend and she isn't a fan of the bar life, much rather watch her film and unwind after a long day.  
He tells her about his day as she laughs and they talk easily, her sat on the edge of the bed while he works. In no time the lights and electronics all blast on at once, momentarily blinding her. Blinking, she's surprised to find his face inches from hers,  
"So no boyfriend? So how about you try and seduce me with that popcorn now as payment for a good deed? 


	28. Chapter 28 running in a small town

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

I know I have been AWOL for quite a while, I won't bore you with the whys, but I was sorting through my docs and found quite a few I had started that could be something more or are just drabbles, flashfics, one shots whatever you wanna categorise them as but I figured they needed a safe home so I'm going to store them here and if you read them yay. If not at least I know when my laptop goes funky again it wont matter if I lose everything. xx

**Running in a small town**

The bus pulled out slowly, painfully slowly, my heart's racing, panic and worry surging through me, anxiously I pull my hat down further over my face, as I steal fugitive glances at the other passengers and then back to the bus station.

The adrenaline, which is coursing through my bloodstream keeps my knee bouncing wildly all the while I chew my nails anxiously, and my eyes sweep around me wildly. To an onlooker I must look like an addict coming down. But I'm not. Or at least not in the sense of any illegal substance.

It wouldn't be until I saw the signs saying you are now leaving Missouri, that I finally allowed myself to relax enough that I finally feel the scratchy material of the backrest rub against my back, I hadn't realised I'd been sat poker Straight this whole time. The more signs we pass the more I feel some of my anxiety seep out of me, a deep sigh escapes my lips as I see the sign for South Dakota, I'd been holding onto since I left St. Louis, nearly fourteen hours ago. Each city stop only increased my anxiety. I had no idea where I was heading, except I knew I would know it when I felt it. My plan was to buying tickets for further then I intended to travel until I found a little town somewhere in the middle of nowhere, try and find some place to stay and get a job or keep moving and find work as when and when to pay for food and travel expenses. Placing my hoodie, the only thing besides the clothes I had on that I now owned; against the window, I tried in vain to get a little more comfortable.

Darkness eventually turned to light, as one city turned into another, and country roads turned into small towns, before reversing again. I managed to pick up a change of clothes, quickly dumping the ones I had been wearing into a bin, a new cap and a book to read. Wrapping myself up in the oversized sweater, I felt better now I was out of the cold, damp clothes that would be recognisable should they be looking for me as I boarded a different bus, I flashing a quick smile along with my new ticket at the driver, lifting my head just enough he would see the smile but nothing else. I realised not looking at the drivers' made them edgy or curious but a slight raise of the head, a nod or smile went a long way to not drawing unwanted attention to myself.

During various occasions I longed for my iPod or my mobile to break up the monotonous silence with some music but I knew I couldn't have risked it.

The only sign that I had left would be the empty house and the massive amount of money I had withdraw from the AMT opposite the train station, before catching a cab to the bus station instead. But I was still an emotional wreck even if I no longer showed the outwardly signs I had nearly a day ago.

At the next stop I managed to grab some toiletries and a hair dying kit. At each stop I managed to collect a piece of clothing or stopping off to get another bus I would buy a few more items. This way when I ended up wherever it was I was going I would look less suspicious than someone fresh off a bus with no belongings to her name and wearing the same damp, sodden clothes people were sure to be looking for.

I'd dyed my naturally dark blonde hair a dark, rich chocolate colour with red undertones, having decided that black seemed like the obvious choice for someone trying to disguise themselves - unless they were going through a goth stage- and well that would stand out too, especially with my pale skin, and I just wanted to blend into my surroundings so the brown would look natural. Cutting my long hair, however vital, was tough, that first snip however was curative, I felt like I was ridding myself of the past and starting a fresh; it bounced against my jawline, with a distinctive wave texture, that made it seem shorter than I intended but I actually preferred it.

The sign welcomed us to Washington state.

I had been studying the map for some time trying to decide my next move; go as far north towards Canada, as I could without going over the border or go south to Oregon or California, or go east to Seattle, however once I made my choice I began scouring the map for smaller towns or places that could be towns so small they may be too small for such a larger map to include them. After searching all around Seattle I found one place that looked ideal, a small dot on the map called Port Angeles, it was the furthest point of the map, that was named. There was clearly smaller towns dotted around it but none which were marked. Perfect.

The area I was looking at was surrounded by the Olympic national park, and further near the smaller towns was the Olympic national forest. I decided that for now being on the bus was safer than standing around, and I knew it made more sense to stay in the much larger cities but having lived in large cities all my life I actually wanted to see something different, find somewhere I could blend into instead of disappear, after all who runs away to a tiny town the highest point north of America? Especially with warmer states right below it. Anyone who knew me knew I hated the cold and the rain- the chances of anyone travelling this far north to one of the coldest, wettest parts of America was pretty remote which is exactly why I chose it. However weighing that up against the odds of landing in a small town where the locals may notice a stranger- a young girl at that, suddenly appearing, made me wonder whether that would raise more suspicions. I was stuck either way, however I rationalised that being as far away as possible was my best chance and that a small town was better than a city of any size, I just needed a convincing cover story for all the people who was bound to query me wanting to take up any kind of residency.

Nearly 36 hours later and with barely any sleep I stumbled off the bus in Port Angeles. I'd decided hours ago it wouldn't be small enough and once arriving I knew I was right and it wasn't where I wanted to be, I just didn't get that feeling I was hoping for. Hell I could end up busing all over America looking for a feeling that didn't exist. But having no other option than to re-board the bus I'd pulled my new rucksack, with the few bits if brought along my travels, against my shoulder and pretended to look out for my 'ride,' just in case the driver or someone else was watching, I looked at me watch before seeing a payphone down the street. scurrying towards that I carefully slipped the gloves I'd purchased at the bus station in Seattle, before picking up the receiver and pretending to talk. Nodding and looking at my watch again, before looking around while listening and nodding every so often, before smiling and hanging up. Hopefully that looked convincing to anyone who had seen it. Making my way purposely towards the row of the local shops, one of which is a coffee shop, while I wait for the bus to leave. Hearing that now familiar hiss as the doors close, and rumble of the bus's engine and heavy tyres pulling away make me a heave a loud sigh as if a weight has lifted but only slightly. I turn quickly to check the stop is now vacant just as the "infamous" rain begins to fall quickly in fat, heavy drops. Pulling my hood over my head to shelter me as much as as possible. I decide to be brave and venture into the coffee shop, after all being out in this rain would raise anyone's suspicions. No one looks at me or asks me any questions and I let out the breathe I hadn't realised I'd be holding. While I warned my hands I pondered my next move. First I needed to find a way out of this town and or somewhere I could stay before it got dark.

As luck would have I noticed a sign for a car for sale, there was a number but also an address. Asking the girl behind the counter where it was, she explained it wasn't off Main Street. The car itself wasn't anything exciting but it would do for now, having paid the man cash and claimed his small car as my own, I happily drove it out of Port Angeles before I stopped to see if there was any map books in the glove compartment; which there wasn't so instead I'd follow the road signs instead until I ended up in the small town of Forks. It was dreary, wet and miserable but as the car began to make funny noises, I was glad to be in civilisation. The car managed a few more kilometres before the noises became too loud to ignore, but by the grace of some heavenly presence I was opposite a diner. At least I could eat while I tried to make my mind what the hell I was meant to do now.


	29. Chapter 29 - the stranger

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

_**The stranger**_

Droplets of hot chocolate splash over the plastic faux wood table, clamping a hand over my mouth. My face flushes brightly both from embarrassment and from holding my breath whilst my brain somewhat slowly attempts to decide between having me choke to death or suffocate from lack of oxygen, until I can't hold it in anymore and the laughter that is threatening to explode out of me does just that; by snorting hot chocolate from my nostrils and down my grey uDub hoody.

"Oh great!" The pebble dash effect doesn't look good, nor does it look like it was part of the design.

Thankfully while searching for a tissue to clean my running nose, one handedly, and failing miserably to hide my chocolate covered face, my long hair has fallen to create a curtain. Yet I'm stunned momentarily when a large, tanned hand suddenly thrusts a wad of napkins between my hair and under my nose.

Peering up just enough, while still managing to cover the offending bottom half of my face, I grab the the napkins with my free hand, I feel my jaw drop and I discreetly try to close it with my left small finger. Shoving the napkins over my face, I mumble a thank you, at the boy or rather man standing in front of me.

"Must be quite a funny book- if you're making chocolate come out of your nose," the stranger says. His voice is deep and husky with a timbre that makes me want to sit up and take notice. A lopsided smile spends across his face and as if my magic I find myself nodding.

This stranger, is huge, I can see even though I'm sitting, that he is tall, freakishly tall. His jet black hair, is cut in short shaggy do, and when he runs his hand through his hair, to move it out of his eyes, it slips back again straight away.

His eyes are molten onyx marbles, with long thick black lashes, framing them. His smile, although he seems nervous or unsure, if his palm rubbing against the back of his neck is anything to go by, reaches his eyes and it gets crinkles at the corners, as he shows me a row of perfectly straight, white teeth.


	30. Chapter 30 - just friends

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

_**Just Friends**_

Watching from afar, dazed momentarily by the beautiful sight before me. The girl in question flings her head back and a peal of laughter ricochets towards him from her place, sat on the sand, exactly twenty two steps away from me; one large leap or 0.55 seconds away and three long strides. Raising her hand she pushes a lock of hair away from her eyes, the same lock that always breaks free. Tilting her head ever so slightly as she listens with rapt attention to the story she is being regaled with. A hand rests in the crook of her neck as she twirls another loose lock of hair around her fingers absent-mindedly. A breath-taking smile breaks across her beautiful face, so widely all of her teeth gleam as she laughs again, throwing her head back caught in the moment of carefree abundance- but it isn't me making her laugh today. Instead it's someone else. It doesn't matter who he is, I automatically dislikes him. Always will; simply because I want it to be me, because he made her laugh and smile but more that that I hate him now for making her throw her head back in ecstasy and radiate such pure happiness.

She catches me staring and I smile awkwardly and raise my beer to her in a "hey, how are you doing?" Kinda way which receives the tiniest of waves. She is far too engrossed with this new guy, laughing, and smiling and fawning over. The anger I feel towards him. No her. No him. No both of them, slowly begins to ignite the fuse at the base of my spine.

"She could have been yours..."

So consumed in her, I don't hear him approach- or any of them, as I see more of them forming a semicircle around me.

"Still could be, if the pansy finally told her!"

"Nah she needs a real man..."

"Oh yeh..."

"Any ideas..."

"Of course me! Who else?"

"Erm you... Mr teddy bear?! Whatever lover boy."

They goad me as I'm forced to stand, but pretending it's merely so I don't have to look up at them all, but my trembling arms give me away.

"Tell me again why you still haven't said anything? When you're clearly head over heels in love with her?"

"Because I want her to pick me, to choose me because she wants me, not because she thinks she needs me, or she has to because of some stupid wolf curse."

"But..."

"But nothing it isn't worth the risk. I can't lose her, I can't risk that. I'd be lost without her. She's my everything." My eyes linger on her as my heart constricts with the threatened pain. He stands and walks towards the ice buckets, and I see her shoot, what she thinks is a discreet glance and quickly turns her eyes down when she sees us all looking.

Her eyes look out to see and I see her finger the bracelet on her wrist playing with the charm. Her eyes flicker down to it and she smiles just as he drops down beside her blocking my view of her.

I feel my heart ache to be with her, as my brothers and sisters, pat me on the shoulder and grabbing me and running me towards the waves. Normally I'd fight them but I know they are trying to distract me, and I let them, as I hear my sister and the other imprints laughing.

But it's her laughter that I hear, that skewers me straight to the core.

Like everything about her.


	31. Chapter 31 time

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

TIME

"Hollow, empty, brittle, broken. That's how she felt. Time allowed each tick to resonate loudly in her head, like a swaying pendulum above her head. The sharp, gleaming metal edge of the axe gradually getting closer and closer. It's breath whispered against her neck ever so gently. Soon the sand would run out and the axe would drop and she needed to know with all certainty which way she was going. /span/p


	32. Chapter 32 - rogue

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**ROGUE**

His fingers curl around the glass, like talons around their prey, swirling the amber liquor around before raising it to his plump, rosy lips, tilting his head back and tipping the contents down in one go. Smacking the glass back on to the counter, he raises his finger, gesturing for another.

Pouring more nectar into his awaiting glass, I give him a cursory glance but catch him watching me. Embarrassment sets my skin aflame and I keep my eyes trained on the job at hand.

Once I've finished pouring his double shot of whisky, painfully slowly, I know I can't avoid him any longer because I have to at least look up to acknowledge him so I can get his payment; since Lloyd doesn't let strangers have tabs. Yet I'm surprised to find he is staring straight at me, locking me with his penetrating gaze. It seems an age before I break eye contact and attempt to tell him how much he owes, while staring at a light over his right shoulder. He runs his fingers through his hair, as the word tab is breathed out so huskily, so alluring, I feel the effects so deep inside I nearly swoon. His hand is now massaging the back of his neck as he lifts his other hand to grasp his drink. All the while still looking at me, with his never breaking gaze, it's only in one these moments I peek out from under my eyes lashes to see if he had indeed given up when the light glimmers and ricochet off his wedding ring.

Ah that explains why this tall, dark and extremely handsome and so very muscular, man is this dive. Clearly looking for directions or some kind of distraction!


	33. Chapter 33 - burning red

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

I know I have been AWOL for quite a while, I won't bore you with the whys, but I was sorting through my docs and found quite a few I had started that could be something more or are just drabbles, flashfics, one shots whatever you wanna categorise them as but I figured they needed a safe home so I'm going to store them here and if you read them yay. If not at least I know when my laptop goes funky again it wont matter if I lose everything. xx

**Burning Red**

An airborne tanned knuckle makes contact with its target, but time remains static. Thunder ricochets as red molten splashes pool across innocent skin. Its alien warmth arouses me from my frozen, paralysed stupor. Wide frightened eyes blink slowly as an overwhelming uproar evades my sensitive hearing and the repulsive smell of rust creeps up my nostrils makes me heave. The world tilts on its axis, thunder echoes, the lights suddenly fade to black.


	34. Chapter 34 the bracelet

untitled

Leaning out of my window, long after Edward had left to join his brothers for his bachelor party- I snorted at the thought, it was more of a hunting expedition readying him for our honeymoon. I searched the surrounding trees knowing for the first time in a long time I was finally alone. There were no vampires or certainly no wolves watching over me tonight. I took a long steadying breath as my nails dug into the wooden sill leaving indents that would remain there long after the last breath had left my human body. I fought against the overwhelming loss I felt, every time I snatched a human moment to myself and even when I was surrounded by my soon to-be family. I longed to see a pair of almost black orbs, looking up at me; or see that all too familiar face emerge from the trees, breaking into a smile, his smile, my Jacob's smile.

A shrill ringing made me jump, turning to search for my phone, I discovered it wasn't the source of the noise. Instead following the sound I unearthed Edward's phone from under my bed. It must have dropped out of his pocket earlier when we were kissing.

ALICE.

A deep knock on the front door echoed upstairs as I pushed the answer button pressing the handset to my ear, Alice's voice shrilled through the earpiece before I had even opened my mouth in greeting. "Edward! Bella's disappeared! What's going on? You need to go back there. No, no I will. It will be better if I go, Charlie loves me and Bella will suspect something if you turn up."

She spoke so quickly my brain struggled to keep up with her. Damn vampires.

As everything clicked into place annoyance surged through me, as Charlie shouted upstairs Billy was here.

It was my first night alone, and my last night with Charlie. Billy for some unknown reason, had come to see Charlie and even though Jacob was still missing, Billy still needed help getting here, obviously he had asked one of the wolves' to bring him, but as always Edward and Alice wouldn't just let me be. Always fussing and fawning over me, never trusting me. For Goodness sake it was Billy and the night before our wedding!

The lack of alone time or privacy, the constant wedding preparations, the lack of proper sleep and constant chills I kept having as well as the lack of news of Jacob had made me irritable and cranky. This was the first time either Edward or Alice had physically left me alone in nearly a month, in fact since Jake had left.

"No Alice, you shouldn't. I'm fine. Billy is here, that's all. I'll see you in the morning," she tried to argue with me, but barking a goodbye I snapped the phone closed.

"Bella! Can you come down here. Now"

Wearily, I wondered why Billy was here and why Charlie sounded so strained. As much as I've missed Billy, I haven't seen him since I left his house after breaking his son's heart after a vampire had broken everything else. Twisting my hands into a knot to match the one in my stomach, I nervously descended the stairs one at a time, just to postpone the inevitable meeting. I didn't know which wolf had brought him, and to come so late in the evening, I knew he must want to tell me something important, and no good news ever comes at ten o'clock at night.

Lost in my thoughts I stare aimlessly at my feet instead of looking down into the faces of the three men i know are standing at the bottom, waiting for me. Trying to postpone seeing the disappointment or worse the pain on Billy's face, I pray it isn't bad news about Jake, but as the thought assaults me, the weight of it hits me full force in the stomach and agonising pain grips my heart in a crushing hold, I think I'm going to be sick; maybe I was too hasty telling Alice not to send Edward.

Reached the bottom of the stairs, a cold breeze hits me, making me shiver, subconsciously I wrap my arms around my middle. Taking a deep breathe I looked up to greet the man, who I think of as my second father, the man who had a hand in raising me, with his wife all those summers ago, when I stayed with Charlie. The man, who had welcomed me back into his house and his family like a long lost daughter, the same man who tried his best to deter me away from the Cullens', and kept all my secrets, despite his obvious disapproval and the guilt he felt towards not telling Charlie. The same man, that seemed to hold no hostility towards me no matter how many times I put his son, or the pack in danger.

"Hey Bill… eh everyone," I stuttered as I take in Billy and Charlie surrounded by the pack, some whom were still standing on the porch, as well as Emily, Kim and another stunning native lady, who had her hand resting on Billy's shoulders, while Paul's hand rested on her hip, similar to the poses Sam and Jared held with Emily and Kim. I manage to keep my face neutral at this news. Well damn! Lahote imprinted, another one bites the dust I think eyes are riveted on the beautiful lady, I felt slightly sorry for her, but it didn't last long the nawing unsettling feeling is growing in my stomach. If the whole pack are here it can only be really bad news. ALthough I don't think I can do this, but especially not in front of all their cynical, accusing eyes.

Billy clears his throat, drawing my attention back to him.

"Bella, you remember Rachel, don't you? My eldest daughter," he motions to the beautiful lady who takes, no grips his hand. This time my eyebrows shoot up, I stammer, lost for words. In truth I remember her vaguely, but she was always part of a pair and honestly I could never tell them apart, they never really wanted to play or talk to me, which was one of the reasons me and Jacob were often paired together. But as I actually look at her, I can see Jacob in her features, the full plump lips, same cheekbones, the matching dimple in their chins but she doesn't have his sunny smile or his deep soulful eyes, yet he is there. Jacob, had always taken after his mom in looks and the twins, more so after Billy. I nod when no words decides to come out, my heart is threatening to break free, as I realise she must know everything, she must know I AM the reason why her baby brother left home, no ran away from home.

I'm too ashamed to look at her, Charlie grasps me by the shoulders steering me into the lounge and gently pushes me down into his chair. A tissue is thrust into my hand as drops of darkness pool on my jeans.

"Bells, honey," Charlie's tone and the words he chooses paralyses me. It's not his voice I hear but Jacob's however his tone has made my heart plummet into my stomach. The pack form a silent procession into charlie's small lounge, making it feel ten times smaller and almost claustrophobic. I feel like I can't breathe.

"Hey Chief why don't you give me a minute with Bella, you got some beers in that old fridge of yours?" He asks, but it's clearly a dismissal in a friendly way, one that won't offend Charlie.

"Eh," Charlie realising his fundamental mistake, has stiffened unsure how to stop the onslaught of more, louder sobs, seems uncertain how to proceed.

"Well eh… I…" Normally I would smile at his awkwardness and his obvious discomfort to say he has drunk quite a few tonight already, even to his best friend.

"No- I'm all out, I'll have to go to the shops if you want a beer that badly Billy," he casts a wary eye at Billy, clearly trying to convey silently he doesn't want to leave me.

"I'll make coffee Charlie, don't worry," Emily offers, patting his arm as she steps past where he is still frozen in front of me.

"Ah nonsense Emily, Chief here doesn't mind going to the shop do you Charlie? After all it's Bella's last night at home, with us, we should make it a party. What do you say old man?"

"Eh, well since we're the only ones legal here Billy I don't think it will be any kind of party". Snorting, I smile. Charlie hates all reminders about what is happening tomorrow or that this is indeed my last night under his roof.

"Oh relax old man, us Quileutes' can handle our drink. One beer isn't going to hurt anyone, Is it?" Billy implores, "Not for a special occasion."

Charlie considers it briefly before relenting.

"Ah fine, yeah sure. Bells, you want… Bella I mean…"

"No leave her be. Leah and Kim, here will go with you and Paul"

"I'll go," Jared jumps in quickly, "I'll drive, come on Charlie." Obviously the thought of being too far from his imprint is too much.

Emily, who I notice is still standing, squats down in front of me, places her hands gently on my knees, She pierces me with her large, dark, penetrating eyes.

"I'm not up for those beers Bella, so how about that coffee?"

I nod silently. Rachel stands to help her, Paul follows behind her soundlessly.

"Bella, dear, we wanted to give you something and it seems only fitting we all give you it, so sorry for the late intrusion, but we obviously needed to wait until-" he pauses and I nod in understanding. Relief floods through me, they haven't come to bring me bad news about Jacob, but still the fact he isn't here weighs heavily on my heart and on my conscience.

"Now I know you know a little about our traditions," he smiles as he looks at me and then around the room at the men who turn into giant wolves, who on more than one occasion have risked their own lives to protect me. Billy's weathered face ceases with it as his voice changes into his deep, magical husky voice of the chief of the Quileute.

"Tradition states we give bracelets to special people on special occasions. It is one of our most sacred traditions. These are special bracelets," Embry steps forward and ties something above the charm bracelet Jacob gave me for graduation. I look down to see a thick bracelet made with different coloured cords. "Each of these represents one of us", Embry explains as his fingers finishing knotting it in place. I look down at my arm, and see my wolf charm glistening in the light, and I feel it tug on my heart; my missing wolf, my sun.

"Red is me and Leah," Seth explains, as the others each tell me which colour is whose. No one explains the white or black cord; the two cords who are touching at ever chance, running through the centre of all of the other colours. They seem thicker than the others, but maybe I'm imagining it I think.

"You see Bella, we give these to those special to us, those we hold dear. Which is why it's fitting this is our wedding gift to you" Billy continues.

"It symbolises you as our daughter, a sister to us, and as pack Bella"

I go to speak but he presses a tanned, warm finger up to my lips, just like Jake I think. He even smells a little like Jake, like home.

"Regardless of everything," his voice hitches with emotion at the end, he goes to speak, but looks down into his lap, I know, he is trying to do this without showing his emotions, I know this is excruciatingly hard for him, after all I am still his best friend's daughter and I was choosing to not only marry but become his, the pack's mortal enemy, and because I knew he would be feeling Jake's pain as well. It's Sam, who speaks, as I clasp Billy's hand, and he places his other hand over mine.

"Despite who you chose, or what you become, Bella you are pack."

"Your family Bella. Always have been, always will be." Billy's words echo those Charlie has says on the rare occasions he has shown a glimmer of emotion.

A lumps forms in my throat, as everyone goes rigid, and every wolf turns towards the front door as Charlie stumbles in.

"Bella look who we found when we pulled up!" I look up as Alice walks in, a dazzling smile painted across her beautiful face, but I know it is purely for Charlie's benefit, she is followed in, at a distance by an angry looking Leah and scowling Jared who has Kim wrapped in a protective embrace.

"Hey Bella, Edward left his phone here. I came to pick it up. He'll need it for tomorrow," she clarifies in her bell like voice.

"We best be going Charlie, sorry Chief! Old Quil called looking for me, some important council business" Billy exclaims, as he begins to roll to the door followed by the pack.

"I just went to the 24/7 Billy! I JUST bought a crate of beer- that I didn't even want!" Charlie boomed, his shoulders sagging defeatedly.

"Save 'em Chief, you'll be needing them tomorrow I'm sure. We can toast Bella's marriage tomorrow night!" Billy spoke with false merriment, reaching for my hand he pulls me towards him for a hug.

"Remember Bella, you will always be one of us, always my daughter," he sweeps his hand quickly under his eyes and pats my head, as I try my best not to cry. The pack, each pull me into a sweltering embrace as they leave bar Rachel, Paul and Leah. Embry and Seth are last. They both look like they want to say something yet a quick glance over my shoulder, they think better of it and hug me fiercely before they leave too.

"Alice why are you here?" I don't even try to hold back my irritation.

"I told you Edwa-"

"I said I'd give it to you in the morning!" I snapped as I stomped upstairs and Alice tries to follow, I shout loud enough that Charlie hears, I'll bring the phone down.

I retrieve the phone, relieved that Edward isn't in my bedroom waiting.

Rushing down I shove into Alice's hand, "There you go, best be off."

Alice tries to argue she can stay but I inform her I wanted to spend what time I had left with Charlie before tomorrow, over emphasizing the time I had left, she looks at me dejectedly, as Charlie tries to hide both his confusion and elation at my statement. I stomp off and sit on the couch leaving Charlie to see Alice out.


	35. Chapter 35- familys- lies and loyalty

Leaning out the window I giggle as Edward waves before he too becomes a blur as he dashes to catch his brothers and I sigh deeply, I almost wish I could stay looking out the window or Edward didn't have to go just so I don't have face the sight behind me or spend any time on my own before tomorrow. My thoughts are too much for me to bear without his presence to claim my attention. However I know he needs to hurt prior to leaving for our honeymoon tomorrow evening and I know I need to face my own demons one last time before I become Mrs Cullen. It still sounds surreal. In 24 hours I would be a wife, married to the love of my life and on my way to a new life in every way possible.

I turn around taking in my now bare looking room, Charlie had told me to keep it as it was, just in case he had said, but I knew I would never be coming back here. There would never be the just in case he was hoping for. I had stripped the room bare as my own way of preparing for the future saying goodbye to my past, saying goodbye to Isabella Swan. It was hard and all too easy at the same moment to see bare room as my childhood room and the room that so much had happened in since I returned home to Forks a little over a year ago; thinking back to the shy and naïve girl who had only ever spent a fortnight here, every summer from the age of three to twelve and then returned as a seventeen year old and been thrown into the world of the supernatural, the same world I was leaving tomorrow to join and leaving my father and mom as well as my human friends and even some of my supernatural ones to become…

I pulled myself out of my thoughts before they reached _him_, I couldn't allow myself to dwell on him. Not when I was alone and was going to be for the next – I look towards the small alarm clock sat on my bed stand- eight hours at least. Alice had said bright and early which would still be the middle of the night for humans but the middle of the day for a vampire who didn't sleep. My eyes swept over the room again when I notice something poking out from underneath a floorboard. Dropping down beside the small sharp triangle; a piece of paper maybe I thought. Intrigued I tried to pull it out but it just dropped down completely. I remembered Edward telling me about the loose floorboard he had stored my presents under when he- it was around here somewhere. Maybe he left a letter and it dropped with a gust of wind. Sure enough after a few failed attempts I found the floorboard it was a couple over from where the paper had been and as I peered down into the dark hole I knew I was going to go in blind and hope I found whatever it was.

Taking a deep breath I shoved my arm in as far as it would go in the general direction and praying I didn't touch anything furry I felt around until my fingers brushed against the cool, smooth texture of paper, grabbing it and pulling my hand out like it was being chased by a huge rat. I sigh as I roll over onto my back holding my treasure. Surprised to see it was a sealed envelope with my name in a feminine script I don't recognise. It's stiff so I know it holds something, a card maybe but not a letter as I thought plus I rationalize Edward would have left a letter somewhere he was sure I would have seen it. I was positive and I knew all the Cullens' handwriting they all had a vintage feel to all of theirs- something that had stayed with them from their original lives. Ripping it open I'm surprised to see photographs; three to be exact nestled inside. I pull them out and see a note is folded, cover them. Liberating them my breath is stolen as Jake's beaming face is staring up at me. Two pools of deep onyx penetrating me to my core, infiltrating and unlocking all the thoughts I had pushed deep down, burying them deep inside, almost on an instinctual need to protect myself from the overwhelming and crushing loss his abandonment had caused me. I swallow thickly as a solemn, slow tear drops onto my hand, followed by another and another until they are coming thick and fast.

A heavy knock and a deep cough and loud clearing of a throat make me jump, as Charlie opens the door and looks down at me, awkwardness and concern coming of him in waves.

"You alright kiddo?" He rubs his moustache uncomfortably. I wipe my eyes embarrassed and nod, knowing I have lost the use of my voice.

"Whatcha got there?" he asks stepping closer so he can see the photo in my hand. I hadn't even looked at it properly the shock of seeing Jacob's face had paralysed me.

"Ah the photos Seth dropped off. I'm glad Edward brought 'em up to you, although if I knew you'd get upset maybe on hindsight it wasn't the best idea. Where is he? Did he leave while I was at Billy's?"

"When?"

"Earlier Bells, that's where I was going-"

"No- when did Seth drop these off?" I asked, something suddenly felt off, but I couldn't put my finger on what.

"Tonight. He and Sam Uley came running up the road; jogging apparently. Asked me to give you this letter from Emily Young, then they disappeared rather promptly into the trees of all places, imagine running through the-" seeing my face he gave a sheepish cough, "anyway that was when Edward came strolling up the road, reckon Carlisle had dropped him off to see you quick. Reckons Carlisle and his brothers were waiting up the road for him. I was gonna bring them in but he said he would-"

"Tonight? This was tonight?" I asked to clarify I had heard right. Charlie nodded, his suspicions obviously peeked.

"Why?"

"No reason, I-"

"Bells…" Then he seemed to notice the floorboard I still hadn't put back.

"Bella why is your floorboard up?"

"Eh…" Suddenly everything seemed to fall into place; Edward's spontaneous visit hadn't been spontaneous at all. Alice must have seen a wolf had been near me and he had come to investigate which if that wasn't enough he had then tried to hide this- my last correspondence with Emily without even knowing what it had been.

"Bella" Charlie pressed.

"I- erm- I think Edward dropped it. I found it poking out the floorboard but when I tried to get it out it dropped through" I offered, it sounded lame even to my ears, so it was hardly going to convincing to Charlie, he wasn't the chief of Police for nothing.

"Then how comes you seemed to know nothing about it? He didn't give you it did he?" Charlie's voice became a growl.

"Yes he did-"

"Oh give it a rest Bella, I'm not the naïve old man you think I am. I'll give you my blessing and I'll even give you away tomorrow because it's what you want BUT don't treat me like a damn fool. I'll smile and say pleasantries hell I'll even try and like the boy because he is who you say you want, but don't you bare-face lie to me!"

His face now a bright red, I looked down ashamed that not only had I lied to him but it was clear how astute he really was and also because that's how he obviously felt about everything including how I saw him.

"Look it isn't a secret I don't think he is good enough for you but your lies don't really help me think any better of him especially over something as stupid as hiding a couple of photos of your family? How the hell am I supposed to believe the serious stuff if you feel the need to lie over something that ridiculous?"

I sighed I didn't have an answer because Charlie's argument made sense to me and without Edward here I didn't have the fight in me to argue with Charlie on my last night with him.

_Family?_

I looked down at the photos, a lump jumping into my throat as Jake's all too familiar features stared up at me, I saw then the photo was of the two of us. I had my head thrown back in laughter, my eyes closed. Jake was smiling at the camera laughing with me, but he obviously knew the photo was being taken. Our faces illuminated by the bonfire which would have been dancing in front of us, I was shocked to see how beautiful I looked, my face glowing in happiness, our foreheads touching even with mine thrown back. Painfully I peeled the photo of us away, to look at the bottom two photographs I had all but forgotten about. The first was of the whole pack including me, Charlie, Billy and Sue as well as Emily and Kim. I remembered this one- Old Quil had taken it and it was slightly out of focus but not noticeable enough it ruined the photograph if anything it added to the photo. Made it known Old Quil, Charlie's uncle of sorts, was there even if you couldn't see him. The last one was of Me, Jake, Billy and Charlie. Emily had taken this one, it was funny her and Kim had been so keen to take photographs that night and now I knew why. I hadn't been to another gathering with all of them and Charlie at the same time. At the time I thought she just wanted photographs for a 'pack scrapbook' she was making right before the newborn fight. I hadn't wanted to think of the other thought that had kept stirring in the back of my mind. Thankfully that hadn't happened not in the way I was petrified of, but in some ways it had. Jake had left shortly after, breaking the pack as we all feared. I knew he would return one day but I wouldn't get to see it. Now I understood why Charlie was so annoyed about the photographs he must have known about them. He must have known on some level that they were some of the last photographs we had of the two of us and definitely the last with Jake and Billy. I stared at the photograph of the four of us; I was perched on a driftwood log next to Billy, Jake was stood behind me, one hand on my shoulder, Charlie was stood behind Billy, one hand resting on his shoulder and one placed on mine. Jake's other hand was on Billy's shoulder, so we all interconnecting in some way, but it was Billy's hand that surprised me. I'd forgotten right before Emily shouted 'smile' at us, he had taken my hand, that wasn't resting over Jake's in his and whispered something to me in Quileute. Embry, Seth and Quil had then got into a scuffle behind Emily making us all laugh. Emily had all caught us as our laughter trickled off into natural smiles.

"Some nice pics there, Emily has been gifted with a good eye, it seems." Charlie's musing broke into my thoughts, I'd forgotten he was there and I had a feeling he knew that as well.

"Yeah she is really good."

"Dad-"

"It's fine, Bella. I'm always going to be here for you, no matter what. Don't forget your old family Bells." The lump that was swelling in my throat felt like it was going to choke me. I was suffocating in all the things I wanted to say to them all before it was too late. All the things I would never get to tell them, or him, and all things I couldn't say to Charlie. Even now on the eve of leaving his life for good.

"Read the note Bells then come down stairs 'kay? Spend some time with ya old man before you-," his voice breaking as he coughed to cover it. I nodded but I didn't look up, I couldn't I was too scared of what I may see on his face or for him to see the emotions on my own.

I opened the note, glancing to see the sender; and smile as I see how Emily has signed it.

_Bella,_

_I thought you would like these photographs as a memento or keepsake to carry with you into your new life. I know you didn't want any gifts and this is actual one part of our gift to you, the other Seth is hoping to bring tomorrow all being well. I'm supposed to keep it quiet but I know how you hate surprises and presents so I'll share what they are with you so you know none of it was brought. The boys have made you driftwood frames for the photographs, from your special place First Beach. So you can take a little of La Push with you, wherever you go. We also made you a special bracelet; it's traditional to give bracelets on special occasions. We have all help make you one; it's a special friendship one. Seth will explain which colour thread belongs to who but again we thought you would like a little something to keep and take us with you into your new life, in the only ways we knew how. I hope you won't mind Bella and I know you never felt like you were one of us, but we all saw you as a wolf girl. You're pack Bella, no matter where you go or what you are._

_You will always be a sister and a friend._

_Good Luck in your new life Bella, take care please._

_Love the Wolf Girls (and your wolf boys) x_

Heart-rending tears spill out and race down my cheeks as I finish reading Emily's letter; her words hitting a nerve as if she could read my innermost thoughts and wrote them back to me. Even Jacob didn't know that was how I felt, but I obviously wasn't as good at hiding my feelings as I had thought. Emily saw through me, she saw I never felt I belonged there, or like one of them, just the outsider Jacob had managed to skirt around an Alpha order to bring into their secret world. Always the outsider, the pale face that they were obligated to protect because of some misplaced teenaged crush.


End file.
